Fix You ! Cegan

XIV

They had fought again that day. It had been unbearably hot and Carl was pissy the moment they got out of bed and they had blown up over the smallest little thing. Neither of them could even remember how it had started (the usual shit about Negan being overbearing and treating him like a child) but it ended with Negan being a little more harsh than he usually was with him and declaring that he couldn't wait to drop Carl's worthless ass off at Alexandria tomorrow and finally be done with things. In hindsight he would blame it on the lack of sleep he had had recently, but maybe it was just the nonstop relentless tension between them recently that had brought it out. Or maybe the impending trip the next day- Negan wasn't entirely sure if Carl would choose to stay with him or end up there, but at this point he realized he had made the decision for him.

Nighttime found Negan prowling around the sanctuary with Lucille, trying to put off going back to their room. As mad as he was at the kid he made sure he still slept in their room, not trusting to leave him out for just anyone to come across. It had been hot as fucking hell all day and to his relief a storm finally popped up as darkness fell, bringing a delicious cold front with it. After the ridiculous heat of the day he found himself actually enjoying the feeling of the rain on him for a moment until it picked up and quickly turned cold. Soaked, Negan made his way up to their room finally.

He found Carl on the couch, surprisingly sound asleep, a book across his chest that he must have fallen asleep reading and a hand across his face.The window was open, rain crashing down outside and a cold chill settling across the room. The kid looked so tiny and peaceful that for a moment he couldn't imagine that something so small could piss him off so fucking much. He felt his anger drift away and a wave of guilt come over him as he remembered what he had said. He'd been unnecessarily harsh with him, and even though that was pretty much his MO with everyone he tried to rein that side of him in when it came to Carl. He hated that this was how they were going to leave things.

Not wanting to wake the kid up since he knew sleep was precious for him he settled into bed, alone, and it felt strange without a warm body next to him. The thought suddenly struck him that after tomorrow he may have to get used to this- or, at least, put his wives back to work. He jumped a little when lightning struck outside unexpectedly, and then an enormous rumble of thunder followed it. At the sound of the thunder he heard something stir from the couch and he looked over as Carl jolted off the couch in a daze. Carls back was to him so he couldn't see Negan studying him as he rubbed his eyes and looked outside. He saw him jump again at the sound of another ridiculously loud crack of thunder and then heard a quiet sigh emerge from him.

Carl glanced around nervously, probably looking to see if Negan had gone to bed yet, and when his eye met Negans he visibly relaxed a little. But he looked genuinely miserable and had a sad, broken look in his eye and Negan hated it. He wanted nothing more than to tell the kid to get his ass over in the bed this second and to stop being stupid, but he wasn't about to swallow his pride, yet. Carl bit his lip, breaking eye contact, and laid back down as another clash broke through the room. Negan suddenly felt guilty for not even leaving him a blanket. He rolled over on his side and tried to forget Carl on the couch like a sad, put out puppy dog.

He wasn't sure how long he laid there feeling guilty as the storm raged on outside, only worsening. Turned out that he had gotten quite used to having someone warm his bed for him, and the emptiness was getting to him. He suddenly heard a small voice behind him.

"Negan?" It was Carl of course, his voice shaking slightly. Negan rolled over and noticed he had his arms around himself, probably chilled since he weighed all of about 3lbs. "S'okay if I take a blanket?"

"No." he said flatly, and he saw that same look of hurt cross his face as he slunk back, retreating quickly.

"Hey, no." Negan reached out across the bed and grabbed his wrist. "What I meant was you can get your ass in the bed where it belongs."