Fix You ! Cegan

XXVIII

Somehow that first night Carl found himself sitting wide ass awake with Negan sleeping soundly only a few feet to his right. This was either a perfect opportunity, or a total setup, and he wasn't sure which seemed more likely. He was almost positive though that Negan wouldn't be this dumb, but- but the man was snoring? Something absolutely was not right. There was no way in hell Negan would fall asleep just a few feet away from someone who had tried to murder him that same day, only that's exactly what was happening. Negan was passed out on his bed, and Carl found himself anxiously fidgeting on the couch. This could very well be his only opportunity, or at the very least, his best opportunity, to try and kill him.

He didn't know how long he had laid there, contemplating whether this just seemed too easy or not. After what seemed like two or so hours he sat upright, looking over at the man who really was seemingly fast asleep. There wasn't much light in the room, but from what was filtering in through the outside he could tell he had that fucking bat with him in the bed. Fucking weirdo, Carl thought as he took in the sight of him sleeping with it.

He got up soundlessly from the couch and headed over to the dresser drawers first. Maybe Negan had been dumb enough to leave something useful in one of them- but probably not. He wasn't sure where he kept his gun, but it more than likely wasn't just out in the open for Carl to find. His luck was about as good as he imagined it would be- clothes, a random box holding a watch, rings and other things that wouldn't help, books, maps- nothing that could be used to kill him unless he wanted him to die of a bad paper cut or strangulation via a t-shirt.

If there was anything he could use it was probably in his bedside drawer, which he eyed, but that seemed too risky. He stood for god knows how long- it was minutes stretching into what seemed like hours- as he worked himself up to head over silently. He'd have to be dead ass quiet. If Negan woke up and found him going through his shit he'd be dead. Or, maybe not, because it seemed Negan had had a lot of opportunities to kill him and he hadn't yet. Shit, Negan had gutted Spencer today over a conversation. But Carl had snuck in, killed two people and Negan proceeded to cook him fucking spaghetti? The worst thing the man had made him do was sing and then come back here and sleep on his couch. Something wasn't adding up. Why was he letting him get away with so much?

He held his breath as he approached the bed, wondering if the man was a heavy sleeper or not. He prayed he was. Despite this being the riskier drawer due to its proximity, it still ended up holding nothing of use. Carl rolled his eye at what he found and wondered why he had expected to find anything different- he had found what he assumed was a lifetime supply of condoms and lube. The thought of anyone having sex with the man suddenly annoyed the shit out of him. Actually- the thought of anyone having sex annoyed the shit out of him. Because his only experience with sex hadn't been exactly pleasant, and he just wasn't sure what the big fucking deal about it was. He could live happily without it. From what he'd heard it was supposed to be the best damn thing on earth, but like everything else so far it had just caused him pain. A whole lot of pain.

His thoughts drifted back to Negan, and looking over at the man he realized that he found Negan so fucking vile that he could literally feel his hate for him coursing through his veins. It was a different kind of hate than he'd ever felt before for anyone. This, this was stronger than hate- if that was possible- something that unhinged him and made him do stupid ass shit like he'd pulled today. He was going to kill him, he had to. He'd never killed anyone with his bare hands, but fuck, there was a first time for everything right? He knew the man definitely outweighed him by probably double and was most certainly stronger than him, but if he could get the jump on him since he had the element of surprise, and maybe get that damn bat out of his hands, he stood a chance. Now, it was a suicide mission of course whether or not he succeeded. Either way, he knew the man would wake up at some point and let out some kind of alert to the others, so even if he did kill Negan he'd have to get through the whole Sanctuary and all his men- and well, that just wasn't going to happen.