Harvest Moon

Unlikely Acquaintance

Bella's POV:

Alice has been here for a week now. It's been amazing. We've mostly been catching up. She has told me everything the Cullens have been up to, except for... Edward. They relocated to New York. Carlisle got a job at their local hospital and Esme found a job at an architecture firm. Jasper decided to start college. I didn't ask about Rosalie as she never cared for me. Emmett joined a construction crew that worked for Esme's architecture firm. They started their lives all over again with ease. I guess that's pretty easy for them to do since they've done it so many times. It had to be miserable though. I would probably move to a secluded area in the woods away from humans if I were a vampire. I'd never be seen so I wouldn't have to start my life over. 

I wonder why Edward didn't go with them. He cut things off so easily between him and I. I'll never understand why. I'd actually be angry if I weren't so... sad. I regret Alice ever telling me that she had a vision of me being a vampire. If I didn't know that, this break up would be much easier to get over. I could've been a part of their world, living happily ever after. Even if I couldn't have Edward. I'd have forever to try and find my way back to him. Edward, Edward, Edward... It's so strange when you repeat a word and it transforms into something else if you say it or think it enough. Now that I think about it, Edward is a weird name. 

"Bella... Hello, earth to Bella. You okay?" Alice brings me out of my thoughts. We are yet again in my room. She is sitting at my desk using the computer. I'm lying in bed, zoning out. 

"Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind." 

"You have nothing to fear. I told you I've been keeping an eye on Victoria's decisions, and she has decided to stay away from you for now." Alice says, standing from the desk chair and moving toward me.

"No, it's not that. Alice... I'm about to ask you something that might be a little difficult for you to answer." I try to find words to ask her about my future.

"Okay. What is it?" She hesitantly asks. 

"Could you try to see what my future will be like? Will I move on from this or am I doomed to live this unrelentless, depressing, sad life until my time comes?" I ask, hoping that just maybe I will still get to be a part of Alice's world.

"Bella, you know I can't see the future like that. My visions are based on decisions, you know that. I know you're going through a hard time right now, but it will get easier." Alice responds, tilting her head to the side and looking sad. 

"I know. It was worth a shot to ask. I just thought that if I decided that I still wanted to be changed that maybe you would see that." I try to hint. 

"Wait, what do you mean? I'm the only one around who could change you and I simply can't. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from..." Alice cuts off midsentence. She didn't need to finish speaking for me to know what she was going to say. It's incredibly difficult for her kind to just bite. Her hunger would take over and she would drain me dry. 

"I'm sorry, I never should have asked. I just can't imagine living a human life now. Growing old and alone isn't something that I look forward to. Edward is never going to want me again if I'm old and frail. I just thought that if I were to change on my own terms, he wouldn't feel the guilt of having to change me himself and damning my soul to hell. I thought he might want me back if he knew that I was like him." I start to sob.

"Bella, I don't think you fully understand what you're asking for. For one, Edward would hate me forever if I found a way to change you. Secondly, he would still blame himself. He regrets introducing you to this world. He knows what you want and thinks that if you are turned at all then he is to blame and he isn't wrong. If you never met him and found out about us, then you would still be living a regular life." Alice explains, looking a little irritated.