Harvest Moon

Disaster

Victoria's POV:

Rejection is something that I've never handled well. I have never loved anyone the way I love Bella. I would burn the entire world to the ground to protect her. I have changed every horrible instinct within myself to match her moral standards. I gave up mouthwatering, thirst-quenching human blood for her. I look at humans with a different perspective now and see them as living beings with feelings and not just another midnight snack. I have done all of this to prove to Bella that I am no longer the monster she once knew. Yet, she still denies my love for her. She still doesn't trust me. It has been three years since Edward joined the Volturi. Three years since Rose took her human form back and had a child. Three years that I have been asking her to marry me.

Every proposal is met with rejection. I never really believed in the institution of marriage. That is until I met Bella and realized I never wanted to be without her. The realization that I wanted to be tied to her in every way possible. I have completely changed myself for her, but it isn't enough. How many times will I have to ask before she finally accepts me? What more could I possibly do to become the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with? If I change any more about myself, there will be nothing left of me. We have traveled the world together and I've proposed at the top of mount Everest and down to the pits of an inactive volcano. Nothing is good enough for her though.

"Are you still mad?" A quiet voice breaks me from my thoughts. I turn to see Bella anxiously wringing her hands. We just returned home from our latest trip. It seems she is finally ready to talk.

"Why am I not good enough for you?" I ask in desperation.

"You are." Bella mumbles in agitation.

"Am I? Because you don't really seem too keen on wanting to spend your existence with me."

"Of course, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You know I do." Bella argues.

"I don't, actually. You act like this is some fling. Like I'm going to just disappear some day and you'll never see me again. I've been by your side every day for three years, Bella. When are you going to trust me?" I plead, exasperated.

"I've already had my heart broken once; I won't go through that again. I read your mind once, remember. You were going to use me to get to Edward. That isn't just something that I can easily forgive." Bella flops down on the bed in irritation.

"I'm not Edward. I would never just abandon you. You also saw my true feelings for you when you read my mind. Why isn't that enough? When will you stop hanging that over my head? I've given you everything you have ever asked for. I've changed myself entirely for you. What more could you possibly want from me, Bella?" I'm almost yelling now. I realize that she has every right to be angry that I once wanted to use her as bait to get to Edward, but I've been trying to make up for that for years. What else do I have left to prove?

"I never asked you to change everything about yourself. You did that because you knew the things you were doing were immoral. That being said, I do appreciate that you wanted to change those things about yourself for me. I'm sorry. You know that I have trust issues. I know deep down that you would never do what Edward did. I don't mean to punish you for his mistakes." Bella says in a soft tone.

"If you know that then why won't you marry me?" I ask, confused.

"It isn't about me not wanting to spend the rest of my existence with you. I just don't believe in the notion of marriage. I'm a child of divorce. I just never really imagined getting married because so many marriages end in divorce. I want to spend every moment of my life with you but marriage to me is just a piece of paper." Bella explains.