My shelter from the storm

Chapter 1

Anita

It starts with the rain. It paralyzes me. Then the rumble of thunder cracks, sending me back to that dreadful night. The night that changed my life forever. The night I watched my family killed. The night I was left for dead, but survived. The night I wished I’d died with my family.

I see it all happen as if I’m living it all over again, the scariest night of my life. Four men in black had us tied up, searching for something my father had been working on. A program worth millions, but if it fell into the wrong hands it would be chaos. They wanted the combination to the safe but my father refused.

One of the men put a gun to my little brother’s head. Thunder rumbles as the storm outside picks up. Even over the loud rumble of thunder I could hear the loud BANG of the gun. My brother’s tiny form crumbled to the floor in front of me as blood poured from the small hole in his forehead. His lifeless eyes stuck open.

The screams of my mother and my twin sister drowning out the plea from my father. Lightning strikes outside, blinding me. Another man hits my father with his gun and his head whips to the side as blood trails down the side of his face. My sister huddles close to my mother as I continue watching my father.

A gun is placed at his temple and he makes eye contact with me. “I love you,” he says in a soft whisper, tears rolling down his cheeks.

His body falls beside my brother and my mother is dragged to the safe by her hair. Her pregnant stomach kicked with force. Blood soon quickly soaks her pajama pants and she screams in pain. Another roll of thunder hides the firing gun and her screams seize.

My sister’s head was against my chest when a bullet went through her temple, into my chest. She falls on top of me and my throat fills with blood, sputtering from my mouth as I struggle to breathe. A gun is aimed at my head and one of the men says with an eerily smile, “Let the little bitch drown in her blood. Our job here is finished.”

His face is burned in my head, a monster that haunts my nightmares. Dark eyes that resemble death. A scar on his face, along his jawline. Light stubble on his face and his hair cut short. The sinister smile his lips wore as he and his friends leave, leaving me choking on my blood.

“Anita,” her angelic voice calls to me. Thunder rumbles in the distance. Her soft, delicate hands caressing my face, sparkling green eyes grounding me from the dark past I wish I could forget. “You’re safe, it’s okay.”

I bring my hand up, running my finger over the mound of scar tissue. The constant reminder of that night. The raised bump covers the bullet fragment embedded in my sternum. She takes my hands as more thunder rumbles and tears roll down my cheeks. “Breathe Anita,” she says in a soothing whisper.

My lungs were burning with the need for air and it was then that I realized I’d been holding it. I take in a gasping breath and recall the first time my eyes met her green eyes. My sister had been lifted off me and my eyes opening had startled her. The first time she touched me gave me strength to hold on.

I held her hand tight, trying to tell her what happened, but couldn’t get enough breath to form words. Sitting in the present going through the same as I had five years ago. “They were all found, Anita. They can’t hurt you anymore. It’s just a storm. All the doors and windows are locked, the alarm is set. It’s just you and me.”

“Will you keep the light on tonight, please?”

My voice sounded fragile, even to me. That night was a week before my eighteenth birthday. My little brother was six and my mother was just a few weeks from having my little sister. Raven lived next door, now my girlfriend. She saw them all leaving, called the police and came right over. She sat with me in the hospital until I was able to be released.

My entire stay I woke up with nightmares about what happened. Now every time there’s a storm she’s right there bringing me out of my attacks. She grounds me, keeping me from slipping too deep into the past. She holds me close, sheltering me from the storm.

She knows I won’t sleep tonight and stays up with me. I don’t sleep when there’s a storm. The nightmares keep me awake and they keep her awake in return. “I’ll leave them on,” she says in a soothing whisper and I let out a relieved breath.

I lay my head on her chest as she holds me on our couch. Her fingers gingerly combing through my hair. The thunder and rain long gone and I shutter a calming breath. I close my eyes, focusing on her fingers soothingly stroking my hair and the comforting rhythm of her heartbeat.

Raven

Anita had fallen asleep on my chest as light rain pitter pattered against the windows. The trauma of that night still haunts her. Storms, like the one that just passed triggers PTSD attacks. I’m the only one who can calm her down. She’s been to an odd number of therapists but none of which can help her.

I was in the middle of my shift at the restaurant in town when the rain first started. Thankfully my manager knows Anita, having been friends of her parents and let’s me go knowing what happens to her in a storm. He’s witnessed a number of her episodes and has seen how I’m able to calm her down.

When I walked into our small town house, she was sitting, frozen on the couch. Her arms were hugged to her chest and from the looks of it, she was having flashbacks. It took several attempts before she acknowledged I was even there, like she was stuck in a trance.

Thunder rumbled in the distance and she flinched. My hands softly caress her face as I reassure her she was safe. Her trembling hand reached up, stroking the scar over her sternum where the bullet lodged beneath the surface of her skin. If her sister’s head had not been against her chest, Anita would be dead.

I got her calmed down as the storm lightened up as she asked me to keep the lights on. Neither of us are able to get sleep when we have a storm. Anita has bad nightmares from that night when there’s a storm. It surprised me that she had actually fallen asleep, but I couldn’t find it in me to sleep with her. I know her. In about an hour she’s going to wake up with an anxiety attack and she’ll need help to calm her breathing.

“Daddy,” our soon to be five year old asks with sad eyes.

Her eyes matched Anita’s, as she was technically her sister. Yes, shortly after medical treatment arrived on scene, they were able to safely deliver Anita’s baby sister. Anita took custody of her on her eighteenth birthday, but as her own daughter. Amelia calls her mommy and since we’ve been together since that dreadful night, she calls me daddy.

I had cut my hair short shortly after we got together officially when Amelia turned a year old. I have an undercut with the top of my hair cut short, but still long enough to keep in a man’s bun. Aside from my hair to give me a more masculine look, I’m an intersex woman. I’ve bulked up some in the last five years.

“Yes baby,” I ask in a soft whisper as Amelia brushes hair from Anita’s sleeping face.

“Is mommy going to be okay,” she asks as her eyes gloss over with unshed tears. She knows storms scare Anita and if I’m honest, they scare her too.

“She’s okay sweetie, daddy came home in time to comfort her,” I say in a soothing tone, smiling lightly to reassure the smart small child.

She nods lightly and looks to Anita’s sleeping face, then to the empty space in front of her on the couch. She carefully lifts Anita’s arm, laying facing her and lets Anita’s arm drape over her side. Nuzzling her face in Anita’s chest, Anita sighs with content, pulling the child closer to her.

Tears fill my eyes as I noticed how quickly the girl had fallen asleep. When it storms, she’ll only sleep cuddled with Anita. It’s been like that since we brought her home from the hospital. Sometimes it helps Anita sleep, but I’ll stay up just in case.

Discreetly, I pull a small box from my pocket, a box I’ve had for a while. I open it, revealing a small diamond ring. One I was hoping to use tonight. It’s what I was doing at the restaurant before the storm. I was setting up a romantic placing and about to text my mother to spontaneously watch Amelia for the night.

I let out a sigh, slipping the ring back in my pocket and whisper quietly, “Maybe next time.”

I woke to a kiss on the corner of my mouth. I look through sleepy eyes and saw I was still on our couch, sitting up. I look up to the culprit who woke me, my green eyes meeting with a cobalt blue eyes. An appreciative smile on her lips. “Thank you,” she murmurs quietly, adverting her eyes from mine as tears threatened to fall.

I gingerly lift her chin and her eyes flick back to mine. “Did you sleep okay,” I ask with concern and she nods vigorously. “Then that’s all that matters. Don’t worry about my job. Everyone at the restaurant knows and they all love you like family.”

Her lower lip trembles at the mention of family and I curse myself for mentioning it. Before I could say anything, Anita reaches into the pocket of her hoodie, well my hoodie since it basically swam on her smaller frame and pulls out a white stick.

I look at her confused, taking the offered stick. I examine it before noticing a small window. The word ‘pregnant’ filled the small window and I look at her in shock. She shakes her head in disappointment, ready to climb off my lap, but I stop her with my arms around her waist.

Tears were threatening to spill past her lashes as I brought my hand to caress her flat stomach under my hoodie. A smile a mile wide split my face and relieved sobs escape Anita’s lips as her shoulders shook violently. I lower her head to my shoulder as her sobs muffled in my neck.

I pull the box from my pocket and smile. “I was going to wait until I could get a romantic placing setup, but now is just as good a time,” I say in a soothing whisper and she pulls from my neck confused.

I open the box and her eyes widen. Her eyes hesitantly meet mine and for a second I thought she was going to reject me, but scrambled for the bathroom. I follow her as she wretches in the toilet and I pull her hair back. Groaning, she leans against my chest, wiping her mouth with tissue before throwing it in the toilet.

Spotting the ring on the floor next to us, her trembling hand picks it up. “Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Someone who breaks down every time there’s a storm,” she asks in a wavering whisper, looking back at me.

“There’s no one else I’d rather be with than you, Anita. You’re the strongest person I know, surviving what others don’t. To most, you’re an ordinary woman whose eyes lie to others, but to me. I can see the truth. I see the pain they hold every time Amelia calls you her mother. I see the pain when we have holiday dinner with my family even though you wear a dazzling smile to fool everyone, but I’m not fooled.

“I’m not fooled because I love you Anita, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, including myself. I love that little girl who calls me daddy, just as I’ll love this baby. I love you Anita and everything you have to offer, rather it be our growing family or sheltering you from the storm,” I say in a soothing whisper, wiping her tears from her cheeks.

I watch her cobalt eyes flick between mine, searching for the truth in my words. With trembling lips, her hands caress my face and takes me in a passionate kiss. I smile in the kiss and wrap my arms around her waist tenderly as to not cause her more nausea.