Lost

Chapter 13

          The Nephrite, nicknamed Centi by Steven years ago, carefully steps over the threshold and into the beach house. She slowly looks over at Steven on the window seat who's staring at her, unblinking. They stare at each other for a moment. Amethyst is about to get up to get more Chaaaps for Centi to use when Steven jumps from the seat and runs right up to Centi, nearly tackling her to the floor in his excitement. She tears up and hugs him fiercely.

"When I heard the rumors around Little Homeworld, I didn't want to believe it. I had to come see for myself." Tears form in her eye, "Oh my dear friend, what happened to you?" Steven stills as she hugs him close, leaning heavily against her and whimpering sadly.

Pearl steps forward, "That's what we're trying to figure out. Bathing him in the diamond essence didn't help, so now we're trying to figure out how this happened with the hope that knowledge will help us heal him."

Centi straightens, keeping one hand on Steven's head, "What can I do to help? I've been teaching some humans and gems how to pilot, so I haven't seen Steven in a few weeks. I did hear about the Funland incident from another Nephrite, but that's about all..."

Connie thinks for a moment, "Well, as hard as it may be, could you tell us about when you were corrupted? You were the only corruption that Steven befriended, the only one who's behavior has been close to how Steven is now."

Centi hesitates, a frown crossing her face. Her time as a corruption is still fairly fresh in her mind, like an open wound slow to heal. So much of her time was spent confused and frightened. All she wanted was to get back to her ship and crew, but at the same time she didn't consciously know that. Her memories and desires were so abstract she was in constant turmoil. Until Steven came into her life that is. His voice was like gentle music to her, easing some of her fears and allowing her to feel the comfort he'd offered. Then, out of everyone to try healing, he chose her. Helped her communicate and got her to her ship. She'd been lost for 6,000 years until Steven.

She nods, "Alright. What do you want to know?"

Garnet crosses her arms and asks as gently as she can, "When Steven first helped you, when your corrupted form was much smaller, what was that like?"

Centi pets Steven as she thinks about how to answer.

As she reformed she found everything around her seemed incredibly large. Or maybe she was just incredibly small. She was in a cave, everything was red and orange in color, and very very warm. The air felt suffocating, everything seemed clear to her, but also wrong. As if everything she was looking at was tipped slightly to the left. She could see the floor, the pool of lava in the center, the walls, but everything still looked... wrong. There was a noise. She realized she wasn't alone. There's a small creature with her. She vaguely remembers this creature, with his black fluff on his head, and smaller stature. Her mind flashes with vague memories, some yelling and pain as electricity courses through her form, poofing her. Panic begins to set in, this creature hurt her before, it must be planning to hurt her again. Then the creature speaks. She doesn't understand what he's saying, but his voice is calming, soothing to her frazzled nerves. She finds herself relaxing slowly, everything seeming to straighten back out, no longer feeling tilted or wrong as she realizes this creature doesn't intend to harm her. He's laying on the floor, more level with her new shorter height, when there's suddenly a loud, startling noise. Three new creatures, gems, jump at her, the tallest using giant fists to hit her and knock her away. She remembers these three, they attacked and hurt her several times, and were trying to again! Everything starts to tilt again, she shakes and shudders in fear. The gems seemed to be arguing over something, when the small creature who'd talked to her ran in front of her. He was trying to protect her from the others, she couldn't understand why. The strange wrongness fades away again.

She's then taken outside and tied to a rock. She's not exactly happy about it, but they have at least put their weapons away, and she's not feeling as trapped as she was in that cave anymore. The gems leave her with the Kind One, she's decided to call him. He lets her off the rock. She's scared, his voice may be like beautiful music to her, but she couldn't trust him just yet. Not until he opens a bag of something. It smells amazing. He holds one of the amazing smelling objects out to her, and keeps speaking, reassuring her and making her feel safe. She takes the object and eats it. It's so amazing! The Kind One continues talking to her as she crunches these delicious objects, his musical voice completely calming her mind.

She hears a single word, "Chaaaps" and immediately connects it to the object she's eating. Suddenly the Kind One yells in pain, and she looks up to see him being attacked by another creature. She won't stand for it! She spits acid at the creature in her anger, getting it away from the Kind One and the Chaaaps. The Kind One rewards her with more Chaaaps. He seems excited to show off what she can do, so he keeps feeding her Chaaaps, and she spits acid when he asks, usually by mimicking the creature she saved him from.

They go to another cave with the gems. This one is cold instead of hot like the one she reformed in. For more Chaaaps she helps clear the way to an object hidden deep inside. It's cold but she barely notices because of the warmth that spreads through her whenever the Kind One cheers and rewards her with more Chaaaps. Not that the cold could hurt her anyways. In an open cavern filled with sparkling colors and the echo of dripping water, the gems walk up to a glowing pool. The Tall One suddenly has weapons on her hands. She can't contain the absolute fear that overtakes her being. Everything once again seems wrong, tilted funny, and even the calming song of the Kind One's voice can't reach her as she drowns in her fear. She's aware of yelling, smashing objects, rumbling ground, and being hit and thrown around. She screams and expresses her fear the only way she can.

Then she can hear it. The calming song of a voice. She feels warmth surround her as music fills her. As her vision clears she sees the Kind One, appendages wrapped around her, tight but not restrictive, and oh so warm. She closes her eye and simply basks in his warmth.

The sound of cracking catches her attention and she looks up to see a sharp chunk of ice ready to fall. Intent on protecting the Kind One she uses all the strength in her tiny body to shove him out of harm's way. As the ice falls onto her she hears him cry, then knows no more.

The group stares at Centi silently. They'd never heard such a detailed retelling of a corruption's perspective before. Granted most gems won't talk about it at all. Connie, ever the diligent student, has been mentally taking notes and picking out the most likely important details. She sits in a chair by the table, tears in her eyes.

"I think I get it." The gems and Greg look at her in confusion. "The main commonality between corruptions. Loss of identity. Corruptions don't know who they are. Their existence is like being in a constant dissociative state." She takes a deep breath "Steven's identity has always been strongly tied to helping gems, but now suddenly no one seems to need his help anymore. Since Little Homeworld is finished and Homeworld is at peace. Not knowing who he is outside of that along with his past traumas and never being taught good coping skills, was a recipe for disaster." Everyone looks to where Steven and Centi were, enjoying each other's company. Basically reliving part of her traumatic past has her feeling stressed and Steven is doing his best to comfort her.

"My mom talked about it with me before. Poor coping skills can lead to a breakdown in humans, with varying levels of intensity depending on the person. Throw in being half gem when that break happens..." she just gestures to him, not needing words to finish, everyone understands.

Greg walks over to Steven and Centi, kneels in front of him and pets him, "That's why the essence didn't work. Magic can't heal human trauma."