I'm a Good Person (Book 4)

Chapter 14

Laura retreated to her room a few hours after lunch to unpacked her dresses and figure out what she had with her that her aunt might find as little fault with as possible. The contents of her suitcase had been virtually forgotten in the past several months as she had lived in a couple of pairs of Levis and blouses she had gotten from the store in Lander. It was only after going through and hanging up what few dresses she did have that she began to worry none of them fitting the bill.

As it turned out, Laura really only had two options. One was the beautiful dress Helen had helped Laura pick the last time she had been in Philadelphia. The other was one very similar to any number of dresses her mother had gotten her, one which Laura had gotten to replace the last one she had and had recently outgrown. The choice seemed as if it should be obvious, but the longer she thought about it, the less sure she was.

For the sake of keeping the peace, Laura was certain she should choose the simple black velvet she had always had a version of, even though it had a somewhat shorter hem and more adult tailoring, details Gladys was bound to notice and comment on. But those comments would pale in comparison to what she would hear if she wore what she really wanted.

Not only was the blue the first dress she had picked on her own, but as such, it was also the only dress her mother had nothing to do with picking. It was also the last thing her mother had ever seen her wear, the first thing Laura had ever gotten her mother's approval on. The first and ultimately the last as it turned out. Laura found herself surprised to think of her mother in regards to a dress she had chosen as much for how different it was from what her mother always chose for her as she had for her love of it. Funny, she thought, that it should now be the article which Laura felt connected them.

Laura picked the blue dress up and looked at it in the mirror and imagined herself walking into her aunt's house in it knowing full well that anything Gladys might say would be in direct conflict with her sister's opinion, one which Gladys had always striven to copy at every turn. A smile even crossed her lips at the daydream, but the smile and her enjoyment began to fade as she thought of all the comments Gladys could make about the dress and she put it back, picking up the black and looking at herself the same way.

That plan was simply too risky. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin this dress for herself and Gladys' comments would surely do that. Standing there, Laura began gritting her teeth as she glanced at the blue dress even while holding the black up to herself. The thought of letting her aunt control her this way, without even having to utter a word infuriated her, made her feel as if she had made no progress at all. It was especially difficult after spending all summer feeling so free, being encouraged to be so. This repression stuck in her craw.

Laura slipped back into her daydream about wearing the blue dress, how liberating it would feel to walk into Gladys' house wearing the blue dress she was so fond of, which she felt good in and which her own mother had even admitted to liking. A surge of confidence came over her then. The dress would be the first sign to Gladys that things had changed, that Laura was her own person now and growing more so each and every day. She began standing just that little bit taller, grabbing the blue dress and holding it in front of herself again. With Robert by her side, Laura might even be brave enough to finally stand up to her aunt once and for all.

And yet...

Laura descended the stairs a short time later wearing the black velvet, deciding that no matter how brave she felt now, it would be far better for the health of the evening if she didn't arrive wearing a billboard showcasing her rebellion from her parents' way of life.

She met Robert in the foyer and the reality of where they were about to go truly sunk in. Laura began to feel half sick, that streak of confidence withering with every step she took toward the car.