Chapter 21

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We're losing altitude. I bite my lip, holding back tears.

Alvar's going to leave me forever? I don't want him to! I want to know more about him. I'm beginning to--to understand him.

"Alvar, are you saying that we won't be ruling to-together?" I say after my head stops spinning.

"Yes, and that would mean you won't have to stay married to me," Alvar states. "You can be free. The people need someone like you as ruler. A person with no bloodied stains on their hands."

"I have no idea how to rule the people here," I object. And I don't want you to leave me.

"You can learn, I'll let you look into my Mystar, it'll help you understand as much as I do."

"Wouldn't that take forever to see those years of memories?" I ask.

"No, it's like dreaming, you can see days or even weeks of something in your mind in only a few hours of time," Alvar tells me. "Besides, you'll only need to see key points of my history to understand."

"I don't think-"

"We're about to land, I will shift form once on the ground," Alvar stops me from voicing my thoughts. "I can give you the Mystar so you can see what you need to see while we get this settled. Fletch is taking care of my absence so Remora doesn't expect anything. From what I've heard, landing is rough on the back of a Cursed so hold on."

He's not kidding, I try to hold on as tightly as I can to the collar and keep myself in place with my knees, but even with that my body jumps at the impact and I fall back on him with an unladylike, "Oof!"

What happens next make everything weirder. Alvar's beast form growls, rattles, and groans, his body is seemingly sucking inside out of itself. I am pushed off by the energy of the change, but my landing is soft in the long grass. A black mist swirls around his transforming body, I squint at the mirky mass, but I can't even make out what is happening until the black mist dissipates and I see his pale skin. He's wearing some kind of loincloth. Somehow I hadn't expected him to be wearing anything, especially after his body took on such a form. Still... I've never seen him this... undressed.

"Lucy, would you be so kind as to grab my pack?" he turns to me and asks.

"What pack?" I look around, and sure enough, there is a type of travel bag lying where the back of his monstrous form would have been. He must have been wearing it the entire time, I just hadn't seen it because of his size.

"Inside it are a tunic, trousers, and boots. The loincloth is enchanted so I don't have to be entirely naked. Saul had his sorceress create it. Said he grew tired of seeing my cock whenever he commanded me back to human form."

"Oh," I can't help the blush that instantly heats my face.

"Between you and me, I think it's because Saul felt insecure," Alvar says, grinning quite unapologetically.

Damn. He's hot when smug, and his scar only adds to his appeal. 

Suddenly I'm wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Really kiss him.

I clear my throat, and throw his clothes at him.

"I'm sure that was it," I mutter. "But of course I wouldn't know what you're talking about since I'm so 'innocent', right?"

Alvar laughs at the remark. "Oh, Lucy, I can tell you're not that innocent," he says with a wink, and pulls a cream tunic over his head. He steps into his dark brown trousers and then the boots. Once finished dressing he nods his head toward the direction of a path cut out of the rock. "Come, let's get you hidden away before the battle begins."

"Alvar,"--I can't believe I'm saying this--"I want to--to kiss you."

He shakes his head. "Now's not the time."

"What are you talking about?" Suddenly anger bubbles up inside, rising to the surface and overflowing. "Now it's not okay to kiss? What about that first time in the grocery store? What about when you kissed me at the altar or that time in the palace?" I stomp up to him, and get on tip toe so we are chin to chin. "All that time, it was okay to kiss me, but now, now when I want to kiss you, it's not the time?"

"Lucy," Alvar warns, his voice husky, his lips only inches from mine.

"Kiss me already, you bastard," I growl. My hands caress the sides of his face with purpose. "Kiss me before I decide I'd rather kill you instead."

"I can't be killed," Alvar states.

I roll my eyes.

"After all this time, when you've finally gotten me right where you want me," I begin, throwing my hands up. "You've decided that I'm--"

His lips press against mine and I melt against him with a soft moan. My arms encircle his neck and I rise up on tiptoe to meet him back. Our kiss sends shivers of pleasure all the way down to my toes. His skin is hot against mine. Glorious moments pass and the kiss endures. I can't stop kissing him. I can't get enough of him. 

I sigh as Alvar's fingers comb through my soft locks, unpinning them, letting them fall over my shoulders.

"Lucy," he growls hand running down my arms, fingers lightly brushing against the sides of my breasts. "How can we--how can we be together? We're from two very different worlds."

"I don't care," I whisper. I'm panting, breathless from our kiss. My body bathes in the warmth of it.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," Alvar says, his voice hoarse as he releases me, pulling himself from my embrace.

How ironic I've always pushed him away and now he's doing it back?

"No," I say, biting my lip and shaking my head. "Why are you doing this to me after what you've put me through?" I raise a fist and pound it against his solid chest. "I don't know why, but I'm--"

"Don't say it." He presses a finger to my lips, his gaze piercing, almost threatening. "When we get you to safety you will look into the Mystar I keep, and see what I've done, what I've been through, and decide for yourself what that means to you. You will realize why I'm reluctant to tarnish your future with what I am."

"You can't care about me like that now. You didn't care when you forced me to come here and save the world," I sob, and shield my face to hide my tears.

"Maybe I didn't care before, but now I see the Light again. You've brought light into my life. You, Lucy from Earth, are not what I expected you'd be. Remember I told you Triss was my sun? I thought after she died, it didn't matter what it took to bring peace to the people here, but now... I was wrong. I was so wrong to do what I did to you. I thought I hated myself for the things I was forced to do under Saul, but with you... no one was controlling me when I decided your fate before you were born, justifying my actions like a self-righteous prick."

"Fine, Alvar," I grate, his words pouring a bucket of ice over my euphoria. I don't know if I should be flattered, grateful for his apology, or infuriated by his words. "Let's go then."



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