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I woke up to someone tapping my shoulder. I sat up, and saw someone sitting next to me, it was hyunjin.
My hair was a mess, and my eyes were still a little puffy from crying the other day.
"Good morning Felix" he said patting my back. I just nodded, and and rubbed my eyes.

He left the room again and came back with a plate, with some food on it. He placed it beside me, and waited for me to take it.
"Do you.. maybe wanna talk, about what happened?" he asked me with a concerned but still soft voice.
I just looked to the ground, and told him what happened, as I started crying ones again.
"I'm sure that it's not your fault lixie. She'll be oke, trust me." again, he took me in for a hug, and I hugged him back.

We just sat there for some minutes, and it actually felt good, and I stopped crying. I wiped away the tears that were rolling down my cheeks, and looked at him.
" Thank you."
"There's nothing to thank me for, I just wanna help you lix" he answered with a slight smile, that for some kind of reason made my heart beat increase.

I took the plate, and started eating, as hyunjin watched me.
I looked at him, and he quickly turned away, probably looking for something, that didn't even exist.

I brought the plate to the kitchen.
I wanted to put on my shoes, but he stopped me. "Hyunjin, we're going to be late for school." I said as I look es at him.
"don't worry about it, I got you some days off school. You can stay here if you want to." he smiled. I agreed to stay at his place, and he got ready to go to school.

"Bye hyunjin." I said as he went out the front door.
I took out my phone, and informed my mum that I was at hyunjins. I waited for her to read my message, but she didn't, so I just got onto the couch, and laid down, trying to get to sleep again. It didn't work, and ones again, my thoughts about my sister got the best of me, and I started to cry again.
I tried everything to calm myself, but nothing worked. That's until I got the last idea, that I wanted to try, to get rid of the pain, from seeing my sister hurt.

I went into the bathroom, and searched for something sharp.
As I found a blade, that was in one of the boxes, that were standing on top of the sink, I questioned myself, if I should really do it.
I was just standing there with the sharp blade in my right hand, until I decided, that I'd do it.

I pressed the blade onto my wrist, and dragged it upwards.

I stopped, and looked at my arm. It was stinging, as my wine red blood dropped into the sink, with tiny little splashes. I stopped crying, and just looked at my arm. For some reason, it felt good, so I did it a second time, then a third time, a fourth, and a fifth time. I put the now bloody blade down, and searched for something I could use to wrap up my arm. I found a first aid kit, and took it out. In it there was a bandage. I took it out and wrapped it around my arm. I put the kid away, cleaned up the sink, and the blade, and pulled the arm of my sweater back down.

~

I heard a door click. I stood up, and went to check who it was. It was hyunjin.
"Heyy lixiiiee." he greeted me, and pulled me in for a tight hug. I tryed not to shout in pain, because of my arm, that was in between of me and him. He let go of me.
"Did you cry again?" he looked down at me.
I nodded, as he ones again pulled me in for a hug "it's ok lix, if you want to, we can go visit her again" his soothing voice said.
"N-no, it's ok. If I'll see her.. I will probably start crying again, and won't stop.." I answered, with a quiet voice.

He went into the bathroom, to take a shower. I was sitting on the couch, starring at something, as I just zoomed out.

I could hear someone calling my name over and over again, but I didn't reply. Suddenly, somebody shook me, and I went back to reality.
"Lix, you ok?" he asked me.
"Ah-, oh, yeah. Sorry" I turned my head towards him.
"Want some food?" he smiled.
"No thank you, I'm not really hungry right now." I answered him. I actually was hungry, because I only had breakfast, but I guess I just didn't wat to eat. I didn't knew for myself why.
"Ok, I'll jut order something. If you feel hungry, just tell me, ok?"
I answered with a polite yes, and he brought out his phone to get himself something.

Soon enough, the doorbell rang, and hyunjin opened the door. He came back into the living room with some Rahmen, and Rice with chicken.
He started eating. I looked at the food, it looked so good,but I didn't wanna say anything, because I didn't want to eat his food he ordered.
"You can take the Rahmen if you wat to Felix." he told me, as he noticed my eyes, almost glued to the food on the table.
"No, no, I'm fine." I answered, and he began eating again.

It was almost evening, and I was watching a movie with him, as I fell asleep. All I noticed last, that I got tucked into bed, and peacefully slept with the blank over my body.

____

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 15, 2023 ⏰

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