Old Beats | Gojo Satoru x Reader

XIX

Time passed in peculiar ways. Sometimes, it moved so quickly that it was impossible to capture the moment, or it stopped and paralyzed everything around it. On other occasions, like that instant, it seemed to move backward, taking you back to the past, to the hallway where Yaga first explained why Geto would never return.

A thread connected those two moments in time when the world had come to a complete halt and seemed to have lost all meaning.

"I don't understand," you finally said, your voice barely a whisper. "Why would Suguru want me to get hurt?"

"They knew I'd left the country," Gojo explained. "Suguru must have done it to make you think you're not safe here. That I can't... that I'm not..." Damn it, why was it so hard for him to express himself? "To make you fearful and hasten your decision."

You slowly lifted your gaze from the document and met Satoru's eyes.

"It can't be. He would never do something like that, he'd never hurt me," you said. "How do I know this is real?" you asked, looking at the paper he had handed you.

Gojo, sitting on the couch, leaned his torso over his legs, drawing closer to you.

"Do you think I'm lying to you?" he said.

"It seems just as strange as Suguru doing it," you replied, returning your gaze to the reward notice. "He's never lied to me."

"And I have?" exclaimed Gojo, dumbfounded.

"No, but..."

You'd always been able to trust Suguru, you were about to say, but stopped midway through the sentence because it wasn't true. Suguru was the person who had hurt you the most, and he had never regretted leaving you.

But it still made no sense. Wasn't his proposal only due in two days? Why would he set a deadline and then, two days later, send someone to stab you? You could have died that day if Nanami hadn't found you in time.

"I don't know, I don't know," you shook your head vigorously. "I don't know what to believe."

"Are you still considering it?" Gojo asked, his voice trembling. "Do you want to leave here?"

"I don't know!" you exclaimed.

"I'll tell you what I think is happening. And I'm not usually wrong."

Gojo took a moment to catch his breath, while you continued to sway gently back and forth, seeking some comfort in the repetition of the motion. "Suguru is using you to get to me."

You couldn't hold back a laugh, and Gojo wrinkled his nose at your reaction.

"What are you laughing at?"

"I don't know, Satoru," you said as you continued to rock in place. "Is it so far-fetched that, I don't know, Suguru misses me? It doesn't have to be that complicated."
"y/n, " you could feel the desperation in his voice, "you were almost killed. Do you understand that? If you miss someone, you don't order them to be stabbed."

You looked back at the document of your bounty, and Gojo noticed your skepticism. You weren't believing it. Or rather, you didn't want to believe it.

"I have the power to make the world Suguru desires a reality," said Gojo. "He's realized that he has no chance on his own, and he wants me on his side to do it."

"So what?" you asked, confusion etched on your face. "Why come after me if he wants you?"

Gojo waited a few moments, looking at you with raised eyebrows, as if expecting you to find the answer to that question yourself.

"Don't you get it?" he asked, and when you shook your head, he laughed and ran a hand through his white hair, followed by a growl. "You don't get it!"

At that moment, he seemed a bit unhinged.

"Suguru wants you to join him because he knows I'll follow you."

"It's absurd; joining him would be a death sentence for all non-sorcerers," you said. "You'd never do it."

You expected Gojo to agree, but all you received was silence on his part. You turned to him, looking at you with an expression difficult to decipher.

"Satoru, you wouldn't," you asserted. But again, silence. "You wouldn't!" you finally exclaimed. "It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life!"

He still didn't deny it, only gazing at you silently and with an expression of defeat, and you felt an irresistible urge to push him to react. As you moved your hands toward him, he grabbed your wrists effortlessly, immobilizing you on the spot, breathing heavily.

"If the alternative is having to execute you, yes, I would," Gojo whispered.

When he saw that you still didn't believe him, he added:

"Suguru thinks I would follow you because he believes I love you. And he's right."

***

You were fifteen years old, in your new dorm room at school, with your suitcase still unpacked and your back leaning against the door. In the hallway, a boy with white hair had just made fun of your bow, and your heart was pounding.

***

A few months later, you were studying with your best friends in that same room. Your gaze slid towards Satoru, as it often did, and when he caught your eye, reclining on your bed with his arms behind his head, he smiled broadly. "I'm looking at the prettiest girl in school," he said, or something like that, and you nearly failed that exam because you couldn't retain any information other than his words.

***

At sixteen, during summer vacation, you were at your parents' house in the countryside. You tried to sleep, but you'd been tossing and turning in bed for hours, staring at the moon through the window. Its bright white light reminded you of someone. Everything did.

***

September, back at school, and Gojo was waiting for you at the entrance. Your heart stopped upon seeing him again, and you forgot you were mad at him for not having called. When you hugged him, you realized he had grown about four inches.

***

In your sophomore year, Satoru, Suguru, and you couldn't be apart for more than five minutes. It was the year you laughed the most in your life.

***

Seventeen years old, and you're looking at Gojo's chat, but it's only filled with your messages. With a racing heart, you see the ellipsis indicating that he's typing something, but in the end, he erases it. He doesn't say anything to you for months.

***

You've just won the exchange event fight, and Gojo hugs you in your room. He apologizes over and over, promising never to leave you alone again. And he means it.

***

At eighteen, Suguru is gone. You've been locked in your room for days with nightmares when Satoru wakes you up, gently stroking your hair. He stays with you that night, but you wish he had held you instead of lying down on the couch.

***

Twenty-two years old, and a girl asks Satoru for his phone number while you're having dinner at a restaurant. It happens often; they never think you're his girlfriend, and it annoys you a little. Gojo flirts with them, but never gives them his number. You've never seen him with another girl, and you wonder why he hides it from you.

***

It's the first day of the school year, and you meet your new freshman students, the year you turn twenty-five. When Gojo asks how it went, you neglect to mention that today is the tenth anniversary of the day you met him and that it's all you could think about all day.

***

Months later, sitting together on your couch, he tells you he loves you. You don't believe him. You would have noticed, right? Your mind races through all the years of your friendship, following the thread that connects each moment you've loved him.