Soul Searching

Chapter Five

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
-Buddha

"Good morning!" Nicole sang, running about the room.

"Good morning?" Melanie replied groggily, hastily pulling the sleeve of her nightgown down.

"Why are you up so early?" Bridget asked, rubbing fiercely at her eyes.

"It's already ten-thirty! I've been up for ages, though, waiting for you sleepyheads."

Nicole's energy never seemed to wear off. Melanie knew that for a fact.

"Yes, Nicole, but we stayed up for a while last night. Some of us actually want more than five hours of sleep." Bridget grumbled, rolling off the pallet.

"You're not supposed to sleep at sleepovers!" Nicole giggled, spinning around in a circle.

"Why do think they're called sleepovers?" Bridget tried to comb through her messy blond hair, groaning in frustration.

"Oh, just go get dressed already, guys! It's a nice day!"

Melanie sat up, smiling. Nicole was a handful. She excused herself to her room while the other nine girls took turns dressing in the bathroom. Melanie looked at the outfit she had spent weeks putting together for her first day of Instruction 1. She sighed, fingering the silky sleeves of the shirt. She decided she would pay a visit to the library later.

"Good morning, Melanie," said a voice from the door. Melanie turned to see her father leaning on the doorframe, his arms crossed.

"Good morning, Father." she replied quietly, immediately regretting her episode yesterday. He had just wanted to help.

"Are you getting clothes?"

"Yes, sir."

Philip chuckled. "Good God, Melanie, you're so polite. Sometimes I wish you'd just snap at me for being Captain Obvious. Or at least not listen."

Melanie bit her tongue, but that didn't keep the angry words back. "What? Am I not good enough? Do you wish me to be exactly what you want as to try and make up for not having a Mark? That's alright, because here's your wish. Go. Away. Now."

Her Father looked taken aback and hurt. Melanie's breathing was heavy, her heart clenched tightly inside her chest. She hadn't meant to do it...she just exploded.

"Okay. I'll...go." Philip tried to catch her eye, but she turned away, kicking the door lightly behind her.

When Melanie was sure he was gone, she found a nice outfit she got for a birthday...one that was short sleeve.

"I'll show them." She dressed in everything but the shirt and shoes, leaving her in light wash skinny jeans and a tank top.

Taking in a deep breath, Melanie fumbled under her bathroom counter until she found what she was looking for: a body art paint set. She blessed her amazing artistic skills and set to work. She drew the most realistic Mark as possible, beaming at her finished masterpiece.

"They'll think I'm crazy," she said to herself, "wearing short sleeves in January. And for the first time too. Why now, after my sudden weird behavior?"

She stood, admiring her work. She had drawn every image to mind about its size and configuration. It was perfect.

No, not perfect, she scolded herself, it would be perfect if it were real.

"Oh, Melanie!" Nicole sung from downstairs, startling her.

"Uh...just a minute! I'm fetching my shoes." Hastily checking to make sure it was dry, she threw on her shirt and shoes, gawking at herself in the mirror.

I look normal, she thought.

Her ballet flats were the only noise in the house as she strutted down the stairs, smiling at her friends shocked expressions. Her mother came to see what was wrong and gasped, dropping the dish she held in her hands.

Glass littered the floor. Her father came running and cried out, looking at Melanie with wide and fearful eyes.

Her friends were even more stunned than before. Melanie cleared her throat and spoke:

"Mother, are you okay? You've been a bit off since yesterday. And let me help you with that. It's quite a mess." She raised her right arm, waiting for her mother's reaction.

She was angry.

"Melanie. I have to speak to you first."

"Can't it wait? Someone will get hurt if you leave this lying around."

"Your father will handle it. Come. Now."

Melanie threw her open-mouthed friends a small smile and a shrug, carefully skirting around the shards and into the kitchen.

"Yes, Mother?" Melanie shifted her weight to one leg.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Melanie successfully fought back a flinch. She forced a grin, tossing a lock of hair over her shoulder. "Being normal."

"You are not normal." Allison curled her hand into a fist. "And you're going to go upstairs right after you send your friends home and change into something long sleeved."

"No." Before Melanie finished the word, her mother's hand came across her cheek. And then she was in her mother's arms, being hugged and apologized to.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. No...I'm sorry...I'm...sorry."

Melanie pushed herself away, tears stinging her eyes. "No. You're not."

She stumbled out of the room, to her friends. They stood in a confused huddle, whispering amongst themselves.

"Guys," she choked out, determined to let her elegant speech go. "I just remembered that I have an appointment today. You all have to leave early. Like right now."

Nicole narrowed her eyes, clearly annoyed at all the secrecy. "What kind of 'appointment'?"

"A" -she cleared her throat- "doctor appointment. My yearly checkup."

"Right," Nicole drew the word out. "What happened to your face?"

Melanie reeled back, the tears returning. They fell down her cheeks, blocking her vision. "Just call your parents and go home."

Nicole turned and-without a word-stormed off. The rest of them quickly followed, leaving Melanie standing alone, broken-hearted and crying.