Secret of the Red Lotus Flower (빨간 연꽃의 비밀)

Chapter 37

The next morning, Soo-yun, Ha-neul, and Dr. Yun set out for the capital and, if wasn't for the threat of the assassins discovering them hanging over their heads, Soo-yun would have thought it looked like a beautiful start to a day. After wishing for a safe journey back, Yeong-ja left before dawn to get things ready back at Hanseong. Ha-neul made it through the night without any fever or complications, so Dr. Yun permitted them to carry out Soo-yun's plan, although her husband wouldn't stop grumbling about it.

"I feel ridiculous," Ha-neul grumbled as Soo-yun and Dr. Yun helped the Crown Prince hobble down the road. The two of them walked on either side and each held an arm to support her husband in walking. "I look ridiculous."

Soo-yun looked over at Ha-neul and stifled a giggle at how indignant the Crown Prince looked. With a simple wooden binyeo and borrowed hanbok, Ha-neul's smooth skin, almond eyes, and long lashes would have made the Crown Prince the epitome a of lovely young woman, if not for the irate expression plastered on her husband's face. It had taken most of the night and the support of everyone else to convince Ha-neul that this was the best course of action to make it back safely.

"You look fine," said Soo-yun. "Those bandits, or whoever they really are, are looking for a young couple. If we are lucky, they won't think to bother an old man with his two daughters."

"But did I have also to wear this infernal contraption?" Ha-neul asked, slapping the bulge in the front of the dress with a hollow thunk. "Was 'pregnancy' really a vital part of the disguise?"

With Eun-ji and Dr. Yun's help, Soo-yun had been able to make a large sling that could carry a ceramic vase and be worn under the hanbok. They had placed extra padding around it to stabilize it and prevent it from pressing against Ha-neul's wound. She was rather proud of the final result. As long as no one looked too closely, it did appear as if her husband was carrying a child.

"You could barely walk, Ha-neul, and needed the two of us just to make it this far. If there are bandits out here, they would be suspicious of you tottering down the road, even if dressed as a woman," Soo-yun replied. "Besides, I don't know why you are protesting so much. You make a pretty wom-"

"Stop," Ha-neul commanded. The three of them immediately halted in the middle of the road and the Crown Prince turned to look directly at the shocked Soo-yun. "Before we get any closer to the capital, I feel it important for you to understand something: I am a man, not a woman. It is just by some celestial quirk that I was born in a female body. Ever since you learned about my secret, you have been treating me differently and I need you to quit doing that. Especially once we get to the palace."

"Just because your mother-" Soo-yun started to protest before Ha-neul silenced her with an upheld hand.

"There is no 'just because'. It is not some confused feeling or flawed belief," said Ha-neul emphatically. "I am male. Not because my mother forced me to play the part of the Crown Prince. Not because everyone in the court believes that deception. But because I feel it in my very soul that this is what I truly am.

"There are times that I believe that I can't be the only one that thinks like that. There are surely other people in the world who look at their reflections and think 'That is not who I really am. Why was I born in the wrong body?' If I had the means to correct this mistake and make my body match what my mind tells me it should be, I would leap at the opportunity. Dr. Yun can perform many medical miracles, but that isn't one of them.

"Luckily, though, the Heavens took it upon themselves to correct their initial error when they had me born within the palace," said Ha-neul. "By being the Crown Prince, I can have the life that matches what I believe the mirror should show. I can also help the people of Joseon and lead my kingdom into being the nation that I believe it can someday become, which I couldn't do if I lived the life of a woman. It has been over a thousand years since Queen Seondeok reigned and the court has become more hidebound and patriarchal since then. She endured multiple rebellions by men trying to depose her because of her womanhood. Can you imagine how many there would be today?"