Union Babysitters

I'm not yours, I can never be yours (but I want you to be, you have to be)

It was paradisiacal, having the sun with him.

But it was devastating when that bright star died and left him.
  
  
.
 
  
The moon has been keeping the earth stable but even a planet has its own gravity and two gravitational forces being near each other can drive the other away, just like how the moon slowly drifts away to leave the planet unstable.
   
  
—————— 
 

  
"And no, you're not imposing. If anything, isn't it I who's imposing on you?"
  
  
'Stop—'
 
 
"I won't leave the moment I care about you and nothing's going to go wrong the moment I do—"
  
  
'You don't know that, it will—'
  
  
"I promise I won't leave — and I take care of the things or persons I deem as mine. For that, I need to stay for a long time."
  
  
'You won't—I won't either—'
    
  
"However, I want you to come back to me once you're done, to my side—"
  
  
'Don't—not that, please—'
  
  
"...I just want you to be by my side, isn't that enough?"
   
   
'Of course, it's not—'
   
   
"Then stay beside me so I can get to know you."
  
   
'You won't like it, there's no point—'
   
   
"I'm Donald Na, not him. Trust me, I've done worst things than you, do you think I'll care about that?"
   
   
'That's not what this is about—'
   
   
"...But he's not here anymore, you are, I am. It'll be fine, Gray. Stay with me and I'll make sure it will."
   
   
'Don't look at me the same way Stephen once did!'
 
  
Donald Na's gentle way of holding him, his blood-red eyes attentively watching him, his soft and soothing voice when he talked to him...
  
 
'I'll hurt you because you'll never be him...'
  
  
It was so different, they were all different.
  
 
Stephen held him gently too, but he'd been firm. A tether for him who felt nothing for the world.
  
  
'You're completely unrelated to Stephen's death...'
  
  
Stephen had been attentive too, but it had trust behind it. A certainty in him that even he didn't have in himself.
  
  
'I already broke Stephen's trust in me, so please...'
  
  
Stephen had been soft and his voice had been soothing to him too, but Gray Yeon back then was unbroken and they made him feel alive and not quite as empty as he had felt before.
  
  
'Don't make me hurt you because I can't be the one you need...'
  
  
Stephen Ahn had been all that because Gray Yeon had been whole back then.
  
  
'The one you're searching for in me...'
  
  
When his life before Stephen Ahn was empty, his death was a void. Tangibly overwhelming in its darkness.
  
  
'The one you're seeing in me...'
    
  
Now, he was just a broken thing that couldn't be fixed because Stephen took parts of him and they were impossible to retrieve.
  
  
'That won't be me...'
  
  
Donald Na wouldn't be able to fix him with the remnants he was willing to give Gray, they would just turn him so misshapen and jagged and he would just end up hurting Donald Na with how fractured he would become at the end of this.
  
  
'It's impossible for me...'
  
  
He didn't know who Donald Na was, but no matter how good or bad of a person he would turn out to be, Donald Na deserved better than a broken thing like him.
 
  
'I already hurt Stephen with how ignorant I had been , so please...'
  
  
Gray Yeon no longer deserved good things, but others still do.
  
  
'Don't make me hurt you with how reckless  I am now.'