Chasing Sapphire

2. FIGHT

SAPPHIRE

Out of all the possibilities that were running inside my mind, finding him drying his hair with towel wasn't one. I should be happy that he was safe but instead, I felt disappointed because it strengthened the notion that I was probably just a paranoid freak.

"I just needed some files." I told a very surprised and weirdly dumbfounded Roman.

"Um.. Yeah. They are probably in the study room," he said and moved towards me. Putting his hand on my back, he was about to lead me out of the room when I heard the sound of a door opening.

Turning around, my eyes fell on Roman's colleague Claire who was just coming out of the bathroom, wrapped in my bathrobe. Her pale face paled even more when she noticed me and her eyes shifted to Roman who looked equally horrified.

"What is she doing here Roman?" I asked in a really low voice, fighting the trembling of my tongue. My eyes wandered to the bedsheets whose creases told the story of what had happened here.

"What is she doing here?" I screamed louder this time, loud enough to make Claire flinch.

When neither of them didn't answer, I cast a disgusted glance towards both of them and stormed out of the roon that used to be ours. I heard Roman calling my name behind me but I didn't stop until I was down the staircase.

"Listen to me Saph.. Please!" he gripped my hand and stopped me from moving forwards. "Just listen to me."

"Listen what Roman? Is there anything left to say?" I yelled, fighting the tears threatening to spill out.

He tried to hold my face in between his palms but I jerked his hands away and moved out of his hold. I felt disgusted by the touch of the man I once loved. He sighed and ran his fingers through his golden curls that covered his forehead.

"I know what I did was wrong but I was frustrated. You were acting strange for few months and everytime I tried to come near you, you'd say you are tired. I am a man. I have needs. What was I supposed to do?" he exasperated.

For some reason, he thought he would make me less angry but after hearing him, all I saw was red. My hand itched to kill him with my bare hands and I was afraid I would not hesitate once before doing that in the heat of my anger. I let out some deep exhales before continuing, "What were you supposed to do? Are you really asking me? You were supposed to understand me and help me with my problem, not fuck around with some slut."

"It's not her fault, Sapphire." Roman interjected. "Claire is really nice and I like her a lot. She listened to my problems when you were too absorbed in your drama."

"Drama?" I asked and he instantly apologised for the word. "You know what, go to hell. Get away from my sight."

"Saph please!" He tried to grip my hand again but I retreated in time.

"I said Get lost." I yelled again, throwing daggers at him with my eyes. I heard footsteps behind him and my eyes followed the noise, only to find Claire coming down the stairs, this time in her own clothes. "Both of you, out." I pointed towards the door.

Roman stared at me with exhausted eyes for a minute, a deep frown etched on his face. "It's my house, Sapphire." he whispered in a barely audible voice. His words hurt the deepest parts of me and my heart clenched in the worst possible way. I was regretting the day I decided to move in with me.

"Of course." I said and threw a glance laced with contempt towards both of them. "May you both die in your precious house!" My words were followed by few curses. I was never this bitter and I would never wish for someone's death but at that moment, I saw my life crumbling before my eyes. The love of my life cheated on me in the house that I considered mine and that girl stole both of them in a small moment.

I didn't know how much I would regret these words later.

°°°°°

"I will kill that asshole." Theo looked like he was ready to pull his intestines out. As my story progressed, the vein in his neck dilated until I was afraid it would burst open.

"Is it my fault? Did I push him to take this step?" I cried on his shoulder as he massaged my back, all the while trying to control his own anger.

"It isn't your fault Sapphire, none of this is. He is a fucking dickhead. I swear I'll kill him the next time I saw him lurking around you," he fumed in anger.

"Calm down Theodore." Zac came out of the kitchen with two glasses and a bottle of alcohol set in a tray. He poured drinks in both glasses, passed one to Theo and the other to me and kneeled down beside me. "If he couldn't be there for you in your difficult time then he simply didn't deserve you. I know it must be really hard for you but in the long run, breaking up with Roman is better for you."

I nodded, rubbing the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. Zac was completely opposite of his partner. While Theo was the aggressive and easily volatile, Zac was the smart and sensible one in their relationship and together they were the best couple I have ever known.

After chugging some vodka down and hugging both of them goodbye, I walked towards my room but not before picking the bottle of vodka in my hands. When Theo bought this house, he gave me my own separate room in this house because he knew I would be spending half my time here. I didn't know that one day, I would have to move here officially.

After going into the room, I entered the bathroom first and prepared a bath for me. When it was warm enough, I stripped out of my clothes and picking up the bottle, settled inside the tub. Even though the water was hot enough, it still felt cold to my skin. The memory of all the time Roman and I spent in our bathroom flashed in front of my eyes and I took a large sip from the bottle.

Where did I go wrong? Why didn't I realise that things were that bad? Was I so emotionally distant that he chose to cheat on me than talking to me?

By the time the bottle in my hands finished, my skin was flushed because of spending almost an hour in the water. Letting out a small groan, I stood up and wrapped myself in the bathrobe. I was too drunk to shower or wash my hair so I decided to leave the bathroom before I could fall down and hurt myself.

I exited the bathroom and was ready to collapse on the bed when my reflection in the mirror caught ny attention. Everything was same, my hair was just as silver-blonde as they were before, my eyes were just as green, but I felt different. I wasn't the person I used to be, all because of a pair of a certain pair of blue eyes that has been chasing me in my dreams for a long time now.

Everything was fine when I didn't have those dreams making my life hell. I had tried therapists but nothing helped the nightmares. Instead, as the times passes, they started feeling more and more real. The nights were hard but the days were even harder. The lack of proper sleep was eating my brain out and I was always too tired to form any proper human connection.

I lay down to sleep but once again, I was engulfed by my own thoughts. As the night went on, my tossing and turning increased to a point when I just gave up and shifted to a sitting position. My mind was a tangled mess now; filled with various self-loathing thoughts.

The silence in the night was haunting and so was the darkness, but it was my inner darkness that I was more afraid of. I was becoming the kind of person I dreaded the most, the heroine of a novel who has nothing else to do other than crying after her husband or lover cheated on her.

Not wanting to think about such depressive thoughts, I opened the drawer and pulled out the sleeping pills. I never used one before because of Roman but I just kept one in the drawer here and in my own room, just in case I ever needed these. After taking one, I lay down on the bed and waited for the sleep to overcome my senses.

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The story will pick pace soon. Just keep reading!