Inception (Ateez Ot8 x Reader)

💦Chapter 26💦

I spent the next couple of days with Yunho mostly. Since he was awake, but still bedridden on doctor's orders, that meant I had a lot of time to cart meals and things for him to do back and forth. I didn't mind too terribly much. It gave me a good excuse to avoid Hongjoong and Yeosang. Both for completely different reasons. In fact, I was hardly able to find time with anyone other than Seonghwa who I would sneak downstairs to meet after Yunho fell asleep. Not because I didn't want to be around the others, but my time was otherwise occupied unless Yunho was sleeping.
My nights with Seonghwa were quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of my day. He still didn't speak a whole lot to me. Most sentences restricted to one or two words, if that. But he didn't mind me talking to fill in the silence and would always have some kind of dessert in the making when I came in. I was beginning to pick up on the fact that he had a sweet tooth. He didn't indulge during meals, although I wasn't sure why. The only time I ever seemed to see him have sweets of any kind was at night. But while my nights with Seonghwa were peaceful and something I looked forward to, my days with Yunho were becoming harder to manage. Especially as the days dragged on and he became more restless.
"I really don't think this is a good idea. The doctor said-"
"Don't you think I know my body better than anyone else?" Yunho scowled, evading my attempts to keep him in bed again.
"I just don't want you to push it too much too soon." I sighed in exasperation.
My hands itched for me to help him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Over the course of the last couple of days, he was healing remarkably well. I was sure it would have been faster had they not used the poison they had. And while it was important for him to work back up to using his body to its full potential, Yunho was adamant about making that happen as soon as possible.
"What are you doing?"
I blinked, focusing back in on him to see him glaring down at my hands that were poised ready to catch him if I needed to.
"Helping you?" I stated as if it were obvious.
He grit his teeth, jaw clenched tightly as he looked away from me. Yunho has been better about not being so hostile towards me, but he did have a problem with accepting help when he needed it. Therefore, despite his best efforts, the two of us fought a lot more than was necessary simply because he wouldn't let me take care of him. Even now, I could tell by the hard set in his shoulders and the barely contained composure in his grip on the bed covers, he was trying to keep from snapping at me.
"I don't need help. I'll be just fine on my own."
Some days, I had to pick my battles.
"Fine."
Leaving him to it, I cleaned his bedside table. Not that it was that dirty. There was a bowl from his lunch and the pitcher of water. He no longer needed a dressing for his wound. That was healed. But the poison was still working its way through his body. Two of the major side effects being muscle weakness and nerve paralysis. Meaning I had been having to help Yunho walk to and from the bathroom and around the room. In the best times, he was a little shaky, others his knees would give out completely.
Those days were the hardest. Helping him up because a lot of the time he was too weak to do it himself, but he also would get so angry at himself. I've tried to console him. But he's notorious for not wanting to listen when it's something he doesn't want to hear. I watched him out of the corner of my eye nervously. Praying that today would be a good day for him. It was hard watching him struggle and not being able to do anything about it. I couldn't deny that being with him the last few days has softened me when it comes to him.
He was a decent man when he wasn't being so damn stubborn. A little rough around the edges, but he made me laugh and I enjoyed the banter with him. He hauled himself up off the bed, hanging onto the edge of it. I watched with bated breath as he waited a second to get his bearings before taking a hesitant step forward, letting go of the bed. It was relieving to see how much progress he was making. My pride far exceeding the frustration I was feeling moments ago. He was getting better. Doing better. Until he wasn't. The first stumble had me reaching out to catch him.
Me being the closest thing he could grab hold of meant that I was taking on the weight of a man much larger than myself and grossly underestimated just how heavy he was. Luckily, we were close enough to the wall that we didn't go crashing to the floor, but the impact of me hitting the wall followed by him collapsing into me knocked the wind out of me.
"Oh my God." I wheezed, trying to suck in air and keep him on his feet at the same time.
He lifted himself off me, hands pressed to the wall on either side of my head. But he wasn't capable of carrying his full weight, so although he wasn't crushing me, his chest was still pressed to mine. His rough breathing ghosted across my cheek with every exhale and one look at him told me he was both frustrated and embarrassed.
"If you wanted me to hold you, all you had to do was ask." I teased, trying to make light of the situation.
"You think I want to be like this?" He snapped, his anger turning on me.
"Of course not, but I don't think getting upse-"
His hands beside my head curled into fists. A growl reverberating through him as he glared down at me.
"You're so infuriating, you know that? I don't understand how the others can stand to be around you."
"Excuse me? If you don't want me around, all you had to do was tell me. Babysitting your grumpy ass isn't exactly my idea of a good time either. So, pardon me for actually being concerned for you." I shot back.
"You think I haven't noticed you wandering off in the middle of the night?"
My anger dissolved into confusion, brows furrowing before I looked up at him.
"What?"
"Don't act dumb. I know you sneak out when you think I'm asleep. Tell me who it is. Who do you go to at night? Is my bedside not as comfortable as theirs?" He spit.
My anger bubbled out of me before I could stop it, face turning red as I realized exactly what he was insinuating.
"Are you suggesting that I-"
"Spend the night with other men? Is that not what you do? I don't know many women who sneak out past dark unless they're looking for male company. What's the matter? Am I not a good enough mate for you?" He spewed venom with every word, my heart sinking as I learned just what kind of woman he thought me to be. "Is my less than functional form not desirable enough for you?"
The tears stinging the edges of my eyes threatened to spill over. I wished what he was saying didn't affect me so much, but it did. It hurt to know that he thought so little of me. But I was more infuriated than anything. That he had the audacity to assume who I was what and what I did with my time.
"If I'm so horrible, then just reject me! Since you think so lowly of me. If you don't believe I'm worthy of you. All you had to tell me was that you didn't want me!"
His expression twisted into one of pain. Eyes avoiding my own as he turned his head away. His body shaking, though I didn't know if it was out of anger or from being on his feet for so long. My worry resurfaced. Despite all the horrible things he's said, I was still concerned about him.
"Yunho-"
"God damn it, don't you get it?" He huffed. "I do want you! I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I hate that you leave me. That you have to seek comfort from someone else because I can't give it to you. I'm selfish like that. You spend all your time with me and I just want more. I don't like it when you leave me. I don't want you to go to whoever it is you go to. I want to keep you here. By my side. I want to wake up and see you there. I'm so fucking useless right now and I hate that I can't be the man you need. It should be me taking care of you."
I was speechless. This entire conversation took a turn I wasn't expecting. I stared at him hard even when he refused to meet my eyes. Misplaced anger. That's what this was? He wasn't actually mad at me, or at least, I wasn't the root of his issues. I sighed, wrapping my arms around him.
"Can we sit to continue this conversation? Please?"
He let me help him this time. Probably more so because of the fact that his body was at its limit than willingly letting me assist. As soon as we were close enough to the bed, he collapsed onto it. A heavy sigh leaving him as he flopped back onto the pillows. I intended to take the seat next to the bed, but his fingers wrapped around my wrist pulling me down next to him. If I wasn't surprised already, I surely was when he wrapped himself around me. Arms looping around my middle to tug me into his chest and curling the rest of his body around mine.
"I'm sorry." He murmured into my hair. "For what I said. I know you're not like that, but even if I didn't, I knew you weren't spending the night with someone. You still smell like you when you come back. It wasn't right of me to say those things about you. I'm just... mad at myself. My condition. I shouldn't have even been wounded in the first place." He grumbled the last bit.
"Well I can tell you that we're definitely going to have to work on your temperament issues. And the way you deal with those emotions."
He chuckled and I couldn't help the smile forming on my lips. The tension between us was gone, but I still had things to address.
"Yunho, I want you to know that I don't think any less of you just because you're hurt. I'm not here because I have to be, I asked Hongjoong if I could take care of you because I was worried about you. I am worried about you. And you'll get better sooner if you would just listen to me." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Right now isn't the time to push yourself, okay?"
It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he understood. Mumbling his agreement in discontent.
"And I don't want to hear anymore of that 'I should be taking care of you~'" I mimicked in my best Yunho voice. "Taking care of one another is a mutual endeavor. There will be times where we'll have to pick up each other's slack. So, I'm telling you to get used to it now."
He cocked an eyebrow, looking awfully amused even when trying to hide it.
"Was that supposed to be me?"
"It was."
"It was terrible."
"How would you know? I think that's exactly what you sound like. Especially when you have a stick up your ass."
He burst into laughter. Full blown, shoulders shaking, head thrown back and unbridled howling. I had never seen him laugh so hard. And the pride I felt knowing I was the one responsible for it was impossible to push down. I loved it. I loved these moments with him.
"And here I was thinking you were some timid thing. It's nice to know you can give as good as you can take." He chuckled, rolling onto his back and nearly pulling me all the way on top of him.
"Wait. Let me-"
I tried to wiggle my way out of his arms, but his hold didn't let up. If anything, he tugged me closer the more I struggled.
"Yunho." His name left me on an exasperated sigh.
"Lay with me for a little longer."
I rolled my eyes outwardly, but inside the butterflies in my stomach went aflutter.
"Then at least let me get more comfortable."
He loosened his grip just enough for me to slide off him. Making sure I didn't go far as I tried to take up as little space as possible on the edge of his bed. But that wasn't good enough for him. He turned on his side, one arm slipping underneath me and his curling around my waist to drag me back to him. His much larger form tucking me into his side, spooning me.
"I like to cuddle." He hummed delightedly, pressing me flush to his chest.
"You don't say." I laughed letting him move me where he wanted me before pulling the blanket up and over us.
I had to admit that being in his arms felt right. It was comforting, safe. Almost as if I were untouchable and that unattainability was something I needed after the long week I'd had. His breathing evened out not too much later. I had half a mind to slip out of the bed since he was asleep now, but any time I shifted his fingers would twitch imperceptibly and he would move closer. Deciding it was better for him to be getting sleep and I probably wouldn't be going anywhere anyway, I settled in. Not meaning for his warmth to lull me into a nap of my own.