"I want to know why you do it."
"Why I do what." he asked, stripping off his overcoat.
He flung it over the back of the couch without much thought as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Why you always save me. Every time I'm in trouble you always come...
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PSA for the heavy chapter ahead. Descriptions of blood, gore, death, physical assault, violence, etc. Read at your own risk. ~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡
It was a bit weird, how empty the castle was. Hongjoong had given a majority of the staff permission to go home if they chose to do so, and only having half the amount people I was used to seeing at the dinner table even after them being gone a few days already just made it seem so much lonelier. The storm outside raged, the lightning from my window illuminating my room momentarily before being plunged into darkness again minus one measly lantern I had next to the bed. The low rumble of thunder between each strike getting shorter and shorter as the heart of the storm approached.
I couldn't sleep. I had been finding sleepless nights more often than not lately. Since the other four left if I were to really pinpoint when it started. Hongjoong had been kind enough to allow me the opportunity to write them letters to be sent with their messenger when they came through. My letters more of bonus for their main mission of delivering important updates about the rebellion happening in Merene and Lodor which I've been told hasn't quite been resolved yet. Yeosang is usually the one to return my letters. His promises that they were all doing perfectly fine besides missing me making me a feel a little bit better when it comes to his inability to commit to a time when they'll return.
If I thought the time we had been apart before was lonely, this time was excruciating. I mostly attributed it to the fact that I had pretty much resolved to no longer deny my feelings for any of them. So, now, being away from any of them for this long was hard. I sighed, watching my ceiling light up with the strike outside once more before going dark. Deciding, I wouldn't be getting much sleep, I rolled out from under the covers. The nights had been warm lately, so I had been sleeping in a light shift. I didn't feel the need to change out of it, considering a short walk was all I wanted to hopefully clear my head a little bit in hopes of getting at least some sleep. But for the sake of decency, I pulled a thin robe over my shoulders, loosely tying it around my waist.
As dark as the hallways were, it didn't feel unsettling. It was late enough that even if the staff hadn't gone home, I wouldn't have expected anyone to be out and about. If anything, it was cozy in its silence. About halfway through my journey, it dawned on me where I was headed. My feet naturally gravitating towards the kitchen without me making the conscious decision for them to do so. I paused in foyer, slight frown tugging my lips as I thought about Seonghwa. The last time I had seen him was in the kitchen. Whether that was by design since it seemed like both of us were avoiding each other, or just coincidence didn't matter.
At some point I'd have to talk to him. I couldn't lie and say his outright refusal of testing the bond didn't hurt, because it did. But I didn't hold it against him. There was no rule saying the two of us had to know or even needed to have feelings for one another. I hated that, somehow, this whole situation had come between us in this way. As intimidating and slightly standoffish he appeared, he was one of the first ones I had spent genuine time with, and I missed those nights. I missed the closest thing to a friend I had since coming here.
