Angel

18.

I reached for the single pocket in my dress and unzipped it to get my phone. As a tear escaped from my eye, I felt my cheek grow damp. I slowed my pace and walked wherever my legs took me. To be honest, I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I had to find my way to their house, then to the cafe, and then back to the flat.

That was a long hike.

My fingers tapped the numbers, and Angel replied within two rings.

"Hello," said the pleasant voice I always liked to hear.

I'd allowed all my emotions take over by this point, "he-hello."

"Hey nyx How are you, babe?" he asked, sounding hesitant, as if he was faking the sweetness in his voice this time.

My legs were threatening to collapse beneath me, so I sat on the bus stop beside the side walk.

I didn't say anything; instead, I cried.

"What happened?" "Why are you crying?" he asked, his phoney kindness fading.

"Angel i'm not sure what I just did."

"Shh... Relax, sweetie. "Please tell me what happened."

"I...kissed him. He kissed me first, but I couldn't stop myself." I tried my hardest not to cry, but I couldn't.

"Kissed? Who?"

"One of the boys I clean houses for."

"So, why are you crying, love?" Please explain what is causing you to cry." He sounded concerned.

I finally stopped crying and exhaled deeply.

"I met someone about two days ago while I was at work. I ran into Isaiah."

I heard him take a long breath and say, "Isaiah.. Your...your..."

"Four-year ex-boyfriend. It was the first time he saw me after the blast. I had no one to rush into after the explosion. To dial. Or anything else. So I used to call him, expecting that he would at the very least respect our four-year relationship and listen to me. And just be a small beacon of friendship. He wasn't, however. He began to decline my calls. And then he reappeared out of nowhere. It took a long time for the pain I felt after losing him to subside. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I couldn't have endured the agony. It was almost as if God sent you as an angel to prevent me from doing something awful to myself. You were the one who compelled me to emerge from the shadows and search for the diamond in this sack of coal.  You had more faith in me than I had in myself. I began to return everything. It was difficult at first because I didn't have somebody to hold my hand, but you made it easier. Even though you weren't physically present, I could always hear your angelic voice imploring me not to give up. I had the impression that Grace had sent you to me."

After that night, I was alone except for you.

But as time passed, I met a guy. Well a few guys. But this one person managed to pluck those heartstrings once more.
I didn't tell you...I am. But I've also been lying to myself. Today, I experienced something I had never experienced with any other male. It was as though he knew what he was doing when he kissed me. I wished I could photograph the moment. It felt so right. But I knew it didn't matter to him. I'd had this feeling for a long time, but I knew it meant nothing to him. I'm not sure why, or perhaps I do. He's so far out of my reach.
I couldn't have let him tell me it was nothing to him because it would have led me back to square one." I completed the task. As I exhaled heavily, I noticed how much I had said.

"Nyx..I'm at a loss for words.I'm delighted you knew you could rely on me.I consider myself fortunate to have been able to resurrect you. And. Did you even give him a chance to talk after the kiss?"