Brenda's Song

Chapter 3

At the beginning of class on Wednesday, Amanda handed me a note. It was written in crayon, and the spelling wasn't perfect.

"Dear Doug, Please come back. I want you to be my daddy. Love, Spud." I managed to hide my emotions.

"When you see her, give her a big hug for me, and tell her I miss her, too." I managed to keep my emotions in check until I got home. I went straight into my bedroom, and let the floodgates open. It was the first time in more than half a decade that I'd allowed any emotion to enter. It hurt, but it was the good kind of hurt. My mom found me in my room. I was still crying, so I showed her the note.

The following Saturday, I went into the city to do some clothes shopping. I was at the mall, and I spotted Brenda. She was with her grandparents. There was a teenage boy harassing her, so I stepped in and got in his face.

"Leave her alone, or you'll have to tangle with me. And I don't show mercy to those who harass My little girl." Not only did Brenda hear me say that, but so did her grandparents. The guy gave me a shove, so I decked him. He wandered off, muttering. I crouched down and gave Brenda a big hug.

"Are you okay, Spud?" She smiled at me, and nodded. I picked her up, and turned around.

Amanda's dad, Ron, said, "You must be Doug. Amanda told us about you, that you and Brenda have an attachment. She also said you call Brenda 'Spud'."

"That's me. You must be Amanda's parents?"

We walked through the mall together, enjoying a pleasant conversation. I held Brenda most of the time. She helped me pick out a few new shirts.

Ron wanted to know, "So what did you mean when you called Brenda 'your little girl'?"

"Didn't Amanda tell you about the note?"

"What note? She didn't mention anything."

I pulled out my wallet.

"Spud, I don't have enough hands, could you pull it out for me?" Brenda pulled the note from my wallet, and handed it to him to read.

"My gosh. She really is attached to you. We had no idea."

"As much as I don't like to admit it, I'm just as attached to her, and to her mommy."

Amanda's mom, Esther, spoke up.

"Amanda told us about your lack of emotion, what a closed door you are. She's made you her special project."

"Did she tell you about last weekend?"

"She only said that she and Brenda stayed with your family, and you are Brenda's new friend. I'm guessing there's more to it than that?"

"Yeah, a lot more. Maybe someday we'll tell you the whole story. You could say, Amanda's project is coming along nicely."

Ron asked, "So you've been opening up, then?" I set Brenda down, crouched, and hugged her.

"Did your mommy tell you she gave me your note?" She nodded.

"Did she tell you how I reacted?" She nodded again.

"Spud, what I haven't told anybody, is that when I got home Wednesday afternoon, I went into my room and sobbed for two straight hours. I know, being a little girl, you won't understand, but guys hate to admit to having emotional episodes like that. No girl understands why us guys are like that. I'm asking you to not tell your mommy. Let me tell her when I'm ready, okay?" She nodded and gave me a big hug. I carried her around until it was time to go. At her grandparents' car, she refused to let go of me.

Ron suggested, "Why don't you drive her home? We'll meet you there." Brenda smiled at me. When I dropped her off, Amanda hugged me.

"I see you two found each other. Did she behave herself?"

"Yeah, she even helped me choose a few shirts." I handed Brenda off to Amanda. I promised Brenda I would see her again very soon.

The next time I saw Brenda was a week later at Amanda's birthday party. It was a small gathering, and I had been invited to spend the night. I read to Brenda at bedtime. Her grandparents sorta chuckled when they heard me using different voices. She stayed on my lap while I talked to Amanda. She wanted me to tell Amanda about crying. I did, and it wasn't easy. Amanda cried when I told her. Brenda was comfy, and refused to go to bed. She fell asleep, and spent the night on my lap. Amanda asked what I was thinking, but I wasn't ready to talk about it.

We had just finished breakfast the next morning. Amanda and Brenda went to get dressed, so I took the opportunity to ask Ron and Esther about them.

"Amanda told me you didn't want to be Brenda's parents because you really miss Rachael, and it hurts you too much. She said that's why she became Brenda's mom."

Ron answered, "That's her perspective. She is right about us missing Rachael. Her death left a dark hole in all of our lives. Brenda is the one bright spot. The truth is that Esther and I have offered countless times to take over Brenda's care, so Amanda could enjoy her youth. She should be out with friends, and dating. Not stuck at home. We're grateful you came into their lives. Maybe you can convince her to do the things teenagers usually do?"