16. manager

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Y/N POV:

It's the next day, I'm getting ready to go to the meeting. I was going to drop in with a pair of sweatpants and a plain white shirt, but I felt like this could change their perspective of me, so I decide to put on a semi decent suit on.

I arrive a bit early so I decide to take a seat. I hear people chatting around me.

"Oh did you hear? They're debuting a new girl group here! I heard their name is Old Pants?"

"Nah don't be ridiculous, it's Advanced Joggers!" 

I couldn't help but chuckle at the names, just then I felt someone approaching me.

"Hey! Come with me, the meeting is this way" I get up and follow the woman.

"Here you go sir, he's right here" We enter the room to be greeted by a single man- wait he looks familiar.

"Hey! Come on in!" Oh! It's the man I saved yesterday.

"Hi sir, have you been okay since then?"

"Oh fine youngling, don't worry I'm just fine" he chuckles. I guess the person on the phone was right about him acting old, I mean who uses youngling? He offers his hand

"The name's Park Jiwon, I'm the CEO of HYBE, your name is?"

"Y/N, nice to meet you Mr. Park" I shake his hand

"Let me get straight to the point, I want you as a manager for our new upcoming girl group that's going to debut in a couple months" Manager?

"A manager? Sir don't you think I'm too young to handle that job?"

"How old are you?"

"16, I turn 17 in July"

"Well just from our first encounter, I could already tell you're mature enough to handle this position, although would this be taking away your education? If so we can figure something out"

"Oh don't worry sir, I don't attend school anymore."

"Ah okay! I'll ask you one more time, I want you as a manager, would you be willing to take this on? Take your time, this is no easy question. The duration this group will last is indefinite depending on how they perform, but regardless I want you to do your best. What am I trying to say? This could be a lifelong job for you. You're taking care of girls that will look up to you, even when the group is no more. I just want to ensure you're prepared."

All of this is overwhelming, a lifelong job? I get where he's coming from. I'd be developing friendships with the members that could be short lived, or last extremely long. 

"Will there be some sort of training I undergo beforehand?"

"Of course! It'll last a month"

"Then count me in" I deliver my final verdict, I'm going to do this.

"I'm happy you took this job Y/N, I'm excited to get to know you more" We shake hands one last time

"I could say the same Mr. Park."

"You're dismissed! I'll let you know you're training schedule through phone call, thank you!" I smile and leave.

Was I expecting this outcome? No.

Am I nervous? I don't think I could properly walk.

I arrive home and sit down. I grab my wallet and open it to see a picture of me with Minji, Hanni, Danielle, Haerin and Hyein. 

I miss them to death, that was the main thing I had to sacrifice when leaving, I really hope they're doing okay, especially Haerin. 

Should I contact them?

I don't think I should considering all my messages were left on delivered whenever I messaged Haerin, but I miss them death.

No, I think I should let time do it's thing, I shouldn't rush things. I want them to contact me instead so I know they're comfortable. 

"It's okay Y/N, you did your best."

Over the past couple months, I've developed two ways to calm myself whenever I was feeling overwhelmed.

One, I'd focus on my breathing. I count in my head while taking deep breaths. 

Lastly, I'd talk to myself to motivate me. I used to receive those words from the girls, but I've learned to be more independent since I've left. Although I would get a couple weird looks from people in public, but that's their problem, not mine.

I'm also proud to say that I've learned self control! I can properly handle my emotions. I thought I was taking things way too fast since usually this would take a longer time for others, but I guess this is my own pace and I've adjusted to it.

Whenever I begin to feel angry, I look at the situation from a different perspective. Why am I feeling this way? How can I resolve it? This alone helped teach me compassion. If someone was trying to piss me off, try to see where they're coming from before going to any conclusions. If they're doing it just because they want to with nothing triggering it, it's simply testing my patience and I try my best to pass the test.

I apply those aspects to other emotions, always look from a different perspective. Always find the reason why I feel this way, and properly let it out.

Also! I've learned that it's okay to cry. 

People always told me to not cry and to suck it up or else I'd get bullied, but no one taught me that it's okay to cry because that's simply how you let it out.

Just from these thoughts alone, I think that I can handle the manager job.

I WILL do my best, I will provide the members the best environment. 

I will tend to their needs and make sure they're feeling okay.

Just then, I get a call from Mr. Park.

"Hi Y/N, I got your schedule, is it okay if I get your email? I'll send it there"

"Okay!" I say my email and just a few seconds later, I get a notification. 

"Please look over the schedule, I can't wait to work with you Y/N! I'll talk to you later"

"Okay Mr. Park. Bye!" He hangs up.

I can't wait for a new start.



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