When I grow up there will be no yelling in my house.
There will be no fighting or throwing or hitting.
There will never be a five year old little girl in the corner sobbing silent tears while her parents argue in the next room over while she silently prays for it to all stop
There will never be a ten year old girl sitting outside reading a book trying to block out all of the screaming and yelling that she can still hear going on inside even though she is exactly 54 steps from the front door and that should have already been far enough.
There will never be a thirteen year old girl crying after her parents yell at her for the simplest of things. It's not her fault they wanted to stop parenting.
There will never be a fifteen year old girl begging for all of the pain to stop while she holds the knife up to her arm and cuts deep red rivers down her arms.
There will never be a sixteen year old girl who was told "you just cut for attention" from her own mother when she finally had the courage to reach out and ask for help.
There will never be a seventeen year old girl waiting for the day she turns eighteen so she can finally escape like her sister.
There will never be a child who is yearning to leave the place they are supposed to call home. The place where they should be nurtured with love and be taken care of no matter what. A place where they are safe and can speak their mind without any repercussions.
When I grow up my home will not just be "home"
Home will be the place of love. Love is all that five year old girl wanted. The ten year old girl just wanted attention and care. The thirteen year old just wanted to be seen and noticed for her accomplishments. The fifteen year old just wanted to stop the pain. The sixteen year old just wanted help to stop hurting herself because she felt like that was what she deserved. The seventeen year old just wishes things were different. The seventeen year old sits here and writes this and wonders "where did it all go wrong?"
When the seventeen year old grows up, she will make sure her home is HOME.
DU LIEST GERADE
A girl in pieces.
Poesiesome poems that I write to keep myself sane. I hope you enjoy. i know that life can get hard for all of us sometimes and these poems are based off of what i battle and these help me cope with them a little bit more. i hope some of you find comfort...
