2. mirrorball (a taylor swift au)

-chapter three-

Taylor was apprehensive to tell the story. First of all, telling it to anyone that she didn't genuinely trust with her life was a risk. Because it was her story - but it was also Ellie's story. It was a story that had impacted so many aspects of her life... and there was part of her that wanted to tell it. She'd never forgive herself if it got out to the public. She wanted to tell him.

But then she remembered who she was and how often she'd been betrayed.

"I'm..." she breathed, closing her eyes for a moment, shifting in her chair. "I'm sorry, I'm new to this... I just... I'm so worried about it getting out to the public. I know it sounds stupid," she rolls her eyes. "And it is stupid. It's just one of the perks of my life, I guess. I just... I don't know if I can tell..." she deflated. "I'm sorry."
Derek nodded. "I can imagine that's a scary thought."
"I don't want it to go public." She felt guilt settle in her stomach.
"Well, I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I think I could only name one of your songs and I certainly never even knew you had a daughter until today," he smiled. Taylor liked that he said daughter. There were quite a few things about him that she liked, not that she'd admit that to herself. She was happy in her life as it was. Seeing friends and being a Mom and just... being whoever the hell she wanted to be. She hadn't had that in so long.
"What song?" She asked with a grin.
He thought about it, before he held up a hand, clearing his throat. "I'm pretty sure it goes 'I can still make the whole place shimmmmerrrr.' It plays at the restaurant sometimes."
Taylor threw her head back laughing. "Yep, that's the one."
"Margot tells me that Ellie got to go on tour with you," Derek changed the subject. "Wasn't it stressful having a kid with you? I think I'd collapse if I had to worry about those two while I was dancing on a stage."
"Luckily my parents were able to look after her," Taylor told him. "When did you get into cooking?"
"I believe I was thirteen," he chuckled. "I got sick of having boring pasta all the time so I got creative. I've had to work hard to get to where I am now, and even... even now it's still not an easy journey." Taylor nodded.
"Lots of people wouldn't even think about setting foot in my restaurant," he shrugged. "But they're not the kind of people I'd want to be serving, anyway."
"That's a positive spin on a crappy situation," Taylor told him. "I'm really sorry that's something you've got to think about."
"I just hope that maybe by the time the girls are my age... maybe the world will have changed."
"Did your wife like to cook?"
He shook his head, laughing. "God, Mel couldn't cook. She tried... but she couldn't. She could hardly work the toaster."
"I... I wish I could come see your restaurant some time. Unfortunately taking Ellie out to dinner isn't something I get to enjoy... well, not here. Maybe in New York with security guards and everything... but not here."
Taylor studied his face, watching him understand what she was saying.
"So you don't just get to pop out to the store, or go to Taco Bell or anything like that?"
Taylor shook her head. "Nope. I don't think I've done that since I was eighteen."
"Not even once?"
"No, there's a lot of people out there that that make it unsafe for me to do so."
"Do you miss it?"
"Every day." Taylor hesitated. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this honest. "Sure, I'm so grateful for everything that I have... and maybe this makes me a terrible person... but sometimes I wish that I could be a normal person with a normal job, just for a day."
"Knowing what you know now... would you do it again? All of this?"
Taylor sighed, biting her lip. "I... sometimes I think I would. I love it, I love singing and people being excited for me. But sometimes I think I'd like an office job. Going home in the evening, running to the shops on the way home." She smiled. "It depends on the day."
"It must be lonely, not getting to do those things."
Taylor glanced down at her drink, before she nodded as she looked over at him. "It does."
"I'll take you one day," Derek told her after a moment of silence.
"Trust me," Taylor sighed. "Going places with me is absolutely not a fun time."
"And who made you believe that?" He asked, and Taylor felt like he'd peered into her heart and soul, and read her like an open book. There was one thing she absolutely wasn't - and it was that. She was not an open book, and it scared her a little that he could read her so easily. It annoyed her slightly. She'd known this man for only a few hours, and he'd already figured her out. Taylor was taken aback. Sure, she'd known him for a few hours, but he was kind. He had kind eyes, and he had a chef's hands. He was reading into her deepest thoughts and concerns without even trying.