2. mirrorball (a taylor swift au)

-chapter eight-

Derek knew that Taylor was just drunk. She was probably just drunk and that was it. She'd talked about how she often came up with the best lyrics when she was drunk. He also knew that she probably wouldn't even remember it in the morning. She still had the after party to go to, and he really needed to focus. He couldn't afford to nearly slice his finger off again. She was just drunk and saying things she didn't mean. He didn't know why that stung a little, perhaps it was because he wished that she wasn't drunk. But that thought scared him. It was a petrifying thought - that he was feeling these things again. He hadn't felt like this since he'd... fallen into love with Melody all those years ago.

But Taylor said those things when she was drunk, they were drunk thoughts. They didn't count. He kept himself busy, forcing himself to stop thinking about it. She was Taylor Swift, and he was just... he was just a chef. He wasn't a global phenomenon, he wasn't winning awards like she was. Well, he was - but they were food related and still, not many people cared. Everyone cared about her, and he was just a nobody. Taylor wouldn't like a nobody. She was drunk and that's why she'd said all of those things, even though he wished that a part of her meant them. But it was good that she didn't mean them. Because he didn't actually know what he'd do if she'd been honest - she didn't know how to feel. How on earth would he cope? He'd been feeling so many firsts - things he hadn't felt in so many years and he just didn't know how he was supposed to react, let alone... feel. It felt wrong, feeling this way. Like he wanted Taylor to be feeling like that without the alcohol in her system. Like he wanted her to mean what she said.

Taylor woke up to the world tilting on its side. And just like that, she was back to reality. The alcohol was gone from her system, taken away by sleep. She rolled over, half expecting Ellie to be beside her, but then remembered that her daughter was back in Nashville with her parents. Taylor immediately went to bite her nails, worried about Ellie. Had she slept okay? What if she'd spent the whole night crying? Taylor was still away for another night - she had a session at the recording studio today for the new album. She was also going to be meeting up with Gracie - who was in the city for the week. It felt like she hadn't seen Gracie in years - she'd gotten so used to seeing her every week. They still texted daily, but still... it wasn't the same.

Turning on her phone - she was surprised that it was actually charging, given the state of her as she'd walked through the door - she smiled at her lock screen. It was a photo of the two of them, Taylor and Ellie. Ellie was up in the tree by the creek at the house, and Taylor was smiling up at her. Gracie had taken the photo on Ellie's birthday - and Taylor loved it. Loved the joy on Ellie's face, loved how it showed her personality. Her hair tied with a big ribbon, her Gracie T-shirt and shorts on. Taylor had been relying on coffee to keep her awake, but nothing could take away her excitement that Ellie was happy. She'd really come to love their Nashville home. Their life there. She'd never had anything like it - and she loved it. She loved it more and more every time she thought about it.

Derek lived in Nashville. Derek, she was sure, probably received many drunk snapchats from her last night. Taylor's heart skipped a beat, instantly worrying about what she might have said to him. There was a Snapchat waiting for her when she went into it - a photo of Derek's kitchen, telling her that he hoped she found some water.
Taylor winced, knowing that alone meant she'd come across as drunk to him. Which was not how she'd imagined she'd be - she barely knew him. Well, she did know him. And he did know her - he knew things that she'd not told anyone else. But she just hoped that she didn't say anything stupid.
I apologise for the drunk snapchats of me last night, she typed. I hope I didn't say anything stupid - I'm sorry you had to bear witness to that...
Taylor sent the photo, and sat up, leaving her phone on the bed. She needed a shower. She'd literally gotten to the hotel, stripped out of her outfit, taken off her shoes and climbed into bed. She couldn't remember what she'd said to Derek - and that was annoying her.