Monster Musume: This Time it's YOU

Chapter 1: The Waffle-House has Found a New Host

(Y/N), the single most relatable man in existence, was perusing some "fine art" late at night when a giant ad for the Cultural Exchange Program popped up on his screen, promising employment. It sounded like an easy job, babysit a few monsters for like a thousand bucks a week and free housing, who would possibly reject that?
(Y/N) then immediately signed up, suspecting nothing.

The next day, he heard a knocking on the door. It was, to his chagrin, a human being.

Have you America'd today? Is your patriotism just not enough anymore? Are people unlike you too alive for your pleasure annoying you? If you answered "AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!" to any of these questions, then I suggest you buy a fucking gun today. Remember, gun size doesn't matter SHARON, I can easily kill you with a miniature revolver, you're just stupid and wrong.

"Hi, I'm Ms. Smith and you have decided that you're strong enough to handle monster girls. You're probably wrong but hey, you're dumb enough to try. Here are the ground rules, you can't hurt them and vice versa, if they're outside, you have to be supervising them and you can't have sex with them. You however, can marry them. Try to break any of the rules and both you and the monster girl who decides to do it with you, will be imprisoned instantly. We will find you and we will break you." Warned Ms. Smith casually.

"I'll be fine." Dismissed (Y/N). "Sure you will and that's why I need you to step out of your house for just a second." Replied Ms. Smith, pulling you out. Suddenly, an extremely loud racket was heard and then silence. "Alright, the renovations are done, you can go back in now." Announced Ms. Smith. "Hoochie MAMA that was fast!" Remarked (Y/N). "What in the world does that mean?" Asked Ms. Smith. "Hoochie mama refers to a promiscuous woman, I didn't know that when I started using the phrase but now it's way funnier." Explained (Y/N), laughing.

"...a-anyway, you just have to wait until your guest come over. I have better people to care about so I have to leave." Winced Ms. Smith before vanishing. "When is she coming here and aren't you supposed to introduce me to her?" Asked (Y/N), visibly confused. "Too bad! Bye!" Called Ms. Smith as she left hurriedly. "Darn. How am I gonna know what I'm supposed to do with her now?" You wondered. It was a few seconds later when someone knocked on your door.

Hoping Ms. Smith was coming back in to tell you it was a joke, you opened the it. You were instead met with someone who was decidedly not Ms. Smith.

Fun fact: moths outnumber butterflies 9:1, this is because it is difficult for butter to fly. It simply doesn't know how.

"Hi, are you the master of this household?" Asked the fluffy stranger, looking into his house. "I am and I believe you're gonna be living here. Did you hear the rules about this?" You replied. 
"Oh good, I'm Mothiva (free bees if you get the reference). I hope we'll have a good time together." Greeted Mothiva before hugging you.

It was pretty warm due to her floof but it was very cozy. She was then distracted by the lights in your room. Sprinting to get closer, she looked directly inside a lamp shade to see the bulb itself.     "Okay but did you hear the rules about being part of a host family?" You asked again. "No, there were too many lights to listen." Denied Mothiva, still gazing excitedly into a lamp. "Well neither of us can hurt each other, we can't have sex but should the situation arise, we can get married legally. Not that I'm the light of your life." You joked, chuckling.

"Uh huh." Said Mothiva, not paying attention. "Also the sky is falling and your boobs are fucking huge. Thirdly, swiggety swooty, French noises." Added (Y/N), trying to get her attention. "Wow that's very interesting." Remarked Mothiva, still not paying attention. You then marched over to the kitchen, made yourself a glass of water and promptly walked back to Mothiva, taking a sip before pouring the contents onto the distracted woman.

"Hey! You could of just said something!" Complained Mothiva, shaking off the water. "I did, twice in fact, you didn't respond to either of them. Would you like a head pat as compensation?" You offered, not waiting for her answer. "This feels great." Sighed Mothiva, forgetting absolutely everything that just happened. After a few seconds, you let go a starter pulling your hand away. She then grabbed it before you could get away. "Don't stop~" Whined Mothiva, blushing as she forced you to continue.

It was cute, although she looked like she was enjoying a little too much for a simple scratching of her head. Then her eyes started flickering. "Are...are you getting turned on by this?" You asked, pretty sure you were a criminal now. "N-no, it just feels really good. K-keep going." Moaned Mothiva, rubbing her head into your hand. Sensing that that was probably a lie, Y/N plucked his hand from her head. "Why did you do that? I was so close!" Admitted Mothiva before realizing what she said and covering her mouth.

"Anyway, I have to say that we can't have sex, hurt each other and you can't leave the house without me watching you. Moving on, it's pretty late, I'm gonna turn in. Go find your room if you get tired." Explained Y/N, leaving while weirded out. This left Mothiva to sneakily follow him to his room and waited at his door until she knew he was asleep. She then went in and cuddled into bed with him.

You then woke up the second she touched you and turned around. "Get out of my room. We don't even know each other that well in the first place," you complained before pushing Mothiva away from you. "But I couldn't find a room." Whined Mothiva, who, again, made no attempt to find any bedroom other than Y/N's. "Then we're both gonna check out the house and see if there is another bedroom." Retorted Y/N, getting up and walking towards the door.

"Ooh! A date already!" Squealed Mothiva, lunging at you and clinging to your arm. It was annoying but she had a great rack and floof so you allowed it for now. The next room over, they was another bedroom. "And how hard did you look exactly?" Questioned Y/N, completely sure she didn't even try. "Well it wasn't there when I searched around!" Lied Mothiva through her teeth. "Uh huh," you doubted. "Go sleep in there."

Mothiva then gave you puppy-dog eyes and started crying. "But I'm so lonely!" Begged Mothiva, clutching you even harder. "Fine but no funny business. I'm not gonna tolerate terrible sleep or actual crimes." You warned, going back to your room with her. "Come onnn, just once?" Whined Mothiva. In an attempt to seduce you, she brought out her long slender tongue and licked your cheek. "I'm letting you off with a warning but I will not tolerate anymore of this. No more, got it?" Warned Y/N.

"Fine but you better reward me for holding back!" Demanded Mothiva, pouting. "What do you eat?" You asked. "Anything sweet." Answered Mothiva. "Great, now let's go to sleep." Said Y/N. The two of you then tucked yourselves into your bed and she burrowed herself inside of your shirt, stretching it as she shoved head next to yours. "How cute." You remarked, causing her to giggle. Later, you managed to sleep, even with her drooling over you.

The next morning, you awoke to Ms. Smith staring at you. "Congrats, you managed to survive the first night without going to jail! A concerning amount of people can't!" Cheered Ms. Smith. She was wearing a party hat and pulled out a party blower which shot confetti in your face. "She got turned on from me giving her a head-pat." Complained Y/N, still holding a sleeping Mothiva. "Man, that sucks. I guess you have magic hands, or she's a freak. Either way, you're stuck with her forever," Ms. Smith's belly rumbled. "So when are you making breakfast?" She added.

"What are you even here for?" You asked, annoyed. "Can't I just come over to say hello?" Replied Ms. Smith. "You came here because you didn't have anything appetizing at home didn't you." Accused Y/N, right on the money. "Are you serving breakfast or not?" Snapped Ms. Smith impatiently.