Breaker, Broken | Jorah Mormont

Chapter 15

He didn't even have a chance to stand.

By the time he was shakily getting back to his feet, she'd already thrown herself onto him, hugging him tightly, face buried in his neck so no one present could see that she'd started to cry.

"You came back," she sighed as he hugged her back, falling onto his heels so he could support her on his lap; he had no other choice when she almost knocked him flat on his back. "You found a cure!"

"I wouldn't be here if I hadn't," he said, daring to bring a hand up and caress her head as she continued to cry silently. "A maester at the Citadel. A painful procedure. I... I almost didn't survive it. But I had to, when I heard you'd come. When I heard..."

She sat up, letting him see her face. "Are you angry with me?" she asked quietly. "You and Ser Barristan wanted us to try and get along, I swore to you that I would protect her, and I wanted to but then—"

"It became too much to bear." He cupped her face. "That is what I imagined had happened. And now you are here, gathering an army. Supporting the North, I'm told, and allying with... the Greyjoys."

"Just until we no longer need them," she promised. "I feel nothing for Euron Greyjoy."

"I know. I pledge myself to you, my Queen, if you'll have me."

"Always," she promised. She examined his face, tracing a finger over where his forehead wrinkled, "I've missed you so very much. We have quite a bit to talk about."

"We do," he whispered. "Our bond, it means something... different now."

"Why? Why should it?"

"I was hesitant even when you were your sister's heir and I knew your children might sit the throne. But now, your children will sit the throne."

"Who can guarantee any of that? Who can guarantee I will have children or that I will name them and not someone else my heirs? Do you recall my idea about rotating out leaders, taking turns, having elections? I don't want there to be just a Targaryen dynasty. I want us all to prosper and having only one family in power isn't necessarily the best way to do that. Besides, what if my children are absolutely awful? I won't want them to be King or Queen solely because of the blood they carry. There is so much left uncertain, Jorah, and I don't want to talk about the things I don't know. I want to talk about what I do know and understand. And that is the fact I feel something for you."

He shook his head. "My Queen..."

"Saera," she pleaded. "My name is Saera. The same Saera you distrusted at first. The Saera you befriended when we each realized we were there for the same purpose. The Saera you shared late night visits with to talk about all things, no matter how big or small. There was a time we wanted to go off and explore the world together, to let my sister have her throne while we made a life for ourselves... perhaps with each other... somewhere that no one could bother us. I thought we wanted that, that we wanted each other."

"I should not want you," said Jorah. "I should be loyal to you as a servant to my Queen, nothing more. I should not wish..." he turned away.

"Not wish for what? Tell me."

"To speak it into existence..."

She tucked her hand under his chin. "Then let me be the first to speak. I care about you. I cared about you so much that it hurt me when you were not there, and I realized how heavy the weight of your absence was. When I saw you again in the fighting pits, when I realized my sister would have let you die, I only thought of keeping you alive, of making sure you could be somewhere– anywhere– but with me. So I jumped into that pit and I fought with you. It's not because I had heard you were in love with me, it was because I felt... I felt something for you, too, something that went beyond a friendship, something I could scarcely explain because in all my years I've never been safe enough to have this with anyone. I wanted to see what we could build, where things could go. You asked me to stay and rule in Meereen because you didn't want me to get hurt. You left and you– I almost lost you."