I wish I was you **ON HOLD**

Chapter 3 - Fitting In

September 2018

The rest of preseason came and went quite uneventfully, I felt like I was fitting in quite well with the team. Although there were times where I felt left out in a way. It wasn't the other girls' faults but time such as when they went out and did some team bonding I was never invited. Which made sense as I was much much too young to be drinking. But the things they talked about was also rather uninteresting or did not make any sense to me. But overall I had been enjoying my time in England so far. 

Soon September had arrived and so too our first game. We had a home opener against Liverpool on the 9th. We won the game 5-0 with Viv scoring her first hattrick of the season and Lisa and Kim both putting one in themselves. I didn't play that match, while it was somewhat disappointing I had expected it. Despite how well I had been doing in training Arsenal were a world class side and they already had a very solid lineup. Still wearing the kit officially for the first time was quite surreal and felt as it was finally official. 

For once I had totally forgotten about my father for the last few weeks. The person I had wanted so bad to text or call me to see how I had been doing. After a few days though I had stopped waiting and checking, deciding that he wouldn't be contacting me anytime soon. That had been until tonight. When I got the one notification that I had been waiting for for so long but now dreaded. I already knew what it was going to say even before I read it. 

Dad

Disappointed in you. I missed your sister's 
dance recital to watch you play on the TV
but you didn't even play. I expected better.

                                                                                                                                                              Sorry. I'll try harder.

Yea well obviously you're not training hard
enough. I've seen the pictures of you with
your team just hanging out. You should be
training not socializing. I didn't send you 
all the way to England for you to make 
friends. 

                                                                                                                                                          Sorry I'll train harder.

You better. If you're not playing I'm not
getting paid. And if I don't get those 
paychecks then you're coming straight 
back to the US.

                                                                                                                                              I'll work harder don't worry.

I sighed and tossed my phone on my table. Of course the first things he texts me is to tell me how disappointed he is that I didn't play. No hey how are you. Or I've missed you for the past month you were gone. Or I'm glad you got the England by yourself safely. No he had always been straight to the point, never really caring how I was or how I felt. 

I unscrewed the bottle and tossed a pill into my mouth before getting in to bed trying to forget my father and his comments.

We played Lewes a week later on the 16th beating them 9-0 but I still had yet to make an appearance. Then just a few days later we went away to Yeovil Town and beat them 7-0. The last game we had that month was actually quite close. We played West Ham at home on the 23rd. That game ended 4-3. 

The first game of October we played Chelsea. In the second half Kim went down after a nasty tackled by one of the opposing players, she had to be stretchered off. Later that night it was confirmed that she had broken her leg and would be out for the next 10 weeks. We were obviously devastated for her. The game ended in a 5 nil victory for us.