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Mr. Orange
Freddy is relatively new to relationships. You both meet after tumultuous experiences and find comfort in the compassion of each other. Freddy is sweet and gentle, but your mind often wanders in moments of togetherness. You picture him with other women, pressed together, entwined. Your stomach goes acidic and you need distance to hide those thoughts. Despite Freddy's attempts to comfort you and bring you back, you have a hard time struggling with your insecurities. Space away often leads to arguments, damp and quiet, but painful nonetheless. Freddy is still trying to keep your mind off the past.
Mr. White
Larry is charming and suave in a way that makes you angry. He doesn't exactly understand your frustration because he sees you as perfect and irreplaceable. You feel like a blubbering mess as you explain yourself in his lap. But he pulls you close and holds your face near his. You search his eyes as sweet words linger. Here, I'll show you how much I love you, he says and kisses your jaw.
Mr. Blonde
Vic's had many past lovers. He doesn't talk much about them, but you know from Eddie that Vic got around before he met you. You fear he might always be comparing you to others and those fears leave you sour. Vic, despite his ego, is very observant. He picks up on your mood easily and prods you for information as you sit in the car one night. Carefully, through blurry eyes and a clogged throat, you have to explain yourself. Vic gives his usual silence, then offers you his arms. Physical comfort is not something you're used to from him and the touch causes you to collapse, the weight of fear slipping from your body.
Mr. Pink
You feel embarrassed to tell your boyfriend how you're feeling. You're worried he might make fun of you and those bubbling insecurities. Finally, during a silly conflict over washing dishes, your built-up frustration comes rushing out. You feel hot tears collect and slip down your face. The dishes are forgotten. Mr. Pink guides you to a comfy chair, making you tea and wrapping you up as you unburden yourself.
Mr. Brown
Your jealousy is especially inflamed because you feel so attached to your lover. He's your best friend and there's the added worry of losing your main confidant. When, late at night and drunk on vodka, you let your worries slip out, you're surprised to hear Brown match your words. He explains his own frustrations at the outside attention you've gotten and still get. He explains the need to keep you close and to himself. The conversation reminds you how alike you two are.
Nice Guy Eddie
Eddie spoils you! How could you feel jealous when he treats you with special care? But there you are, trying to fall asleep with an active mind as Eddie holds you to him. You turn over to wake him when the fears get to be too much. He mumbles your nickname groggily, but soon turns attentive when he realizes you're crying. He rubs your back and allows you to tell your thoughts. He promises commitment to you, even offering to get married at a 24 hour chapel if you wanted to. You laugh and yawn. The night has taken an emotional toll on you and you fall asleep with Eddie.
For youokmk This chapter is something I constantly struggle with! It's like you read my mind.
