Feelings - a heartstopper story

Loss?

Tw: self h@rm scene.
I'm sorry for the sadness of this part, but it's a serious topic I wanted to include in my book. I didn't add loads of detail as it was quite difficult for me to write, but it does talk quite a bit about it.
(If you don't feel comfortable reading it you can skip to the 'end of tw' I have put)

There's also a lot of swearing in this chapter, so enjoy that lol

Sorry, one more thing, but there will be quite a bit of switching between characters in this, so I'm sorry if it gets too much. Just lmk and I won't do it again :)

Start of tw

Charlies pov:

I don't get a good night text from Nick that night.
I've messed up. I let Ben get to me once again. All cause of what he said to me, I have this worry trapped in my head, which I can't ignore.
My head starts spiralling full of bad thoughts, and I lose control. I just- I get the urge.
Before I can even process what I'm doing, I'm in the bathroom grabbing the scissors. All i can see is blood. And the deap cuts on my arms. It doesn't even hurt at this point, I'm so distracted by my thoughts I just keep going deeper.

I drop the scissors and just break down into tears. They don't stop flowing put of my eyes. I can't stop them. My face is drenched, and my cheeks are bright red.
I can't let anyone see what I've done. I'm so stupid. I'm so fucking stupid.

I head back to my room, put on a thick jumper and bury myself under my covers.

My alarm wakes me up the next morning. I feel like shit. My arms are in agonising pain, and I just feel so weak. This is what I deserve.

I try to convince my mum to let me stay home, but like usual, she's in a mood and forces me to go get ready. Today's gonna be difficult.

End of tw

Tori's pov:

I think there's something up with Charlie.

I don't want to question it though as I know it will just send him straight into panic, which he definitely doesn't need right when he's about to go to school. So I just leave it, and instead try to comfort him with my presence. As if lonely depressed me being there is gonna cheer anyone up, but it's worth a try.

Nicks pov:

I don't believe Charlie is ignoring me for no reason. I've known him my whole life, someone must have said or done something to him. Shit, his last lesson yesterday...
It was with Ben.
That dickhead must have done something. I swear to god, if he even touched Charlie, he will be a dead man.

I walk fast into school that morning with a serious look on my face and only one goal. Find Ben.

I finally find him alone leaning on a wall behind the school building.
Shits about to go down.
You mess with my Charlie, you mess with me. And me when im angry aswell.

"What the fuck did you do to him!?"
I yell as I pin him against the wall by his shirt.
My face is turning red from rage.

"W-what the fuck are you talking about mate!"

"You know exactly what im talking about!" I continue to shout, "Buf incase your that stupid. You have fucking hurt Charlie!"
He laughs, so I smash his body against the wall again, reminding him this is in no way a joke.

"Mate chill yourself." He starts to speak. No I won't fucking chill, you hurt my Charlie
"L- let me go s-so I can talk." He struggles out. I realise both my hands are round his neck and I'm almost strangling him. I let go and he gasps for air.
"Alright, speak then." I say forcefully, still angry as fuck.

"Okay, I did nothing to Charlie honestly. All I said to him was that it was obvious that you and him were dating, and he just through a fucking fit."

I freeze for a second at the thought, but quickly forget it and remeber what I was here for.
Ben knows Charlie overthinks literally everything. He clearly said it for some sort of reaction. And it worked, Charlie is about to break up with me.

Shit shit shit. No I can't lose him.

Charlies pov:

I'm listening to music alone in the revision hall, when I hear my name from a distance. I almost choose to ignore it, but the voice says my name again. I take of my headphones and turn around to see who it is.

"Charlie!" Nick calls from across the room.

Shit. I need to leave.

I try to walk away, but Nick reaches me before I get the chance.
As he's here I might aswell talk to him. I go to apologise, as its the only thing I can think to do.
When he suddenly grabs my face and kisses me. It's a tender, meaningful kiss. Butterfly's fill my stomach, and I push more into the kiss. I realise in that moment just how much I missed his soft lips.

Nicks pov:

I just pulled him in and kissed him. It felt fuckinf amazing. I don't even care that we're in the middle of school; I would do anything to not lose him. And if that means coming out to everyone, then I will do it.

Charlies pov:

After what feels like years, Nick slowly pulls away for a breath, still holding tight onto my face.
I was so lost in the moment I forgot we were in front of almost the whole of our year. I start to panic again, till i hear clapping. What? Are they clapping for us-?

"What a coming out that was!" Nick says as he pulls me into a tight, safe hug. I laugh into his chest, then pull away. His smile reaches both of his ears. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy.

Throughout the day, I get many comments and questions from alot of the other six formers, and also strangely some of the younger years too. News really does spread fast in this school. I worry about how Nick is dealing with all the pressure, but soon remind my self just how strong he is. If I can survive, then he easily will.
We planned to go round eachothers my house after school, so I'm sure he'll tell me all about it.