part 4

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Jeongins POV.

I slowly opened my eyes while my head is banging. I start to take in my surroundings expecting to see the same white and grey walls but I see a chandelier over my head and sit up immediately. I quickly scan the room to see someone in a chair doing something on a desk. His head looks familiar – all of a sudden, my memories of the guy at the party comes back and I remember someone help. Maybe this was them or – is it him. The guy from the party.

I start to hyperventilate again. The guy in the chair slowly turns around and I let out a deep breath of relief but quickly try and build a false face. Chan saved me?

"good your up." He said before glancing at his watch "just in time for lunch" with a smile but it goes before he asks me "are you ok?"

"im perfect." I said putting on my smile that I have got so good at faking. I look away at my lap after replying before mumbling "thanks for saving me". He looks at me and offers a small smile and grabbed medicine water from the desk and hands it to me before quietly saying "for your hangover and don't thank me. You don't need to" I take the medicine and offer a smile as thanks.

"I know this is not my place to say this but you should press charges against him. I think you will feel safter and-" he said before I interrupt him "no im not." "why not? He raped you that's illegal and im a witness we would win he-" "can we not talk about this imma just move on." I said trying my hardest to not cry in front of him. "but he goes to our school. You wont be safe and it would be harder for you too move on." He insisted "NO. imma do what I want do. just please stop talking about it!" I was on the brink of breaking down, but no one can see me cry. I cant be week.

"fine im just trying to tell you what's best for you." He said in a sympathetic tone. "why do you even care you don't even like me and I don't like you so why do you care were not even friends, and I don't just want your sympathy." Trying to put on my best strong act. This is what happens now when im venerable I just push everyone away even if they had good intentions. 

"we can be-" I irrupted him again. "we can just pretend were friends in front of felix and the others but outside that I don't care about you or your sympathy" "im not-" "can I just go home now." I say taking and interrupting him. Again.

"sure." He says a little sadly. I leave the bed which I assume is chans and make my way out the giant house following chan. He stops by his car before opening it. "imma just walk-" he interrupts me this time "No. let me do this then I will let you do whatever you want to do even if I think its wrong." He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing looking at me with vunrable eyes wich I never thought I would see on him. "just please. For me, as a thank you." I sigh but get into the car

We drove in silence. Not even music playing. When we reach my house I mumble a thanks before bolting it out of the car. I make my way upstairs and charge my phone. I find my headphones and play music from my phone. I just listen and mumble to my self that "im ok" while snuggling up in a small ball and finally letting my tears fall as memories from that night and before haunt me.

- time skip to monday - 

I walk into school making sure I look like my usual self. I had to go to school because I don't want anyone thinking somethings wrong. I don't even wait to greet my friends in the morning just walk straight to English. I put my headphones out and zone out the world. Until I heard the crowd of people coming in. I take off my headphones and put on my fake smile saying hi to the people that said it to me. I zone out the whole lesson just staring at the white paper my thoughts attacking my brain all the time.

The bell goes and wakes me up from my trance. As I was about to leave when the teacher calls mine and chans name- wait chans in my class. Great. I felt bad for being mean even though he helped me but I cant change the past.

"jeongin your failing English and chan your from austraillia and excelling in English so I was hoping chan you could tutor jeongin. Jeongin you don't have to pay and if you do it chan you will get extra credit." The teacher said looking at us with hopeful eyes. "ill tutor him if he wants me to." Chan said. Great I have to accept and listen to chan probably telling me to press charges throughout the tutoring and I cant say no cause I need to pass. "ill do it" I say hesitantly. "perfect you should exchange numbers and work on timings." She said looking relieved.

I write my number on his phone and he said hell text me. Not looking at me once in the eye. We then have to rush to class. Im not paying attention to anything but at least im trying to.

The bell goes signalling lunch. Signalling the time my acting skills need to be perfect to show im alright. I cant be week and sad I need to be happy.

I walk to our usual spot seeing chans friend sitting with his. I see hyunjin and seungmin holding hands but I couldn't bring myself to care. I sit down next to seungmin at the edge of the table opposite chan who is looking anywhere but me. Everyone is talking loudly about drama and hanging out. I cant find it in my self to be energetic so I just sit there and smile. I cant even eat. I haven all weekend.

All of a sudden a familiar horrid voice interrupts the flow of chatting at the table. Leon. He comes into my view and my smile falters. He starts talking with my friends about homework and some gossip he heard to keep them interested. I look over at chan who is glaring at leon. I cant handle this. I have to leave. I quickly get up and leave ignoring my friends questions about where I was going. I reach the toilet and fall into the stall.

Thankfully no one was in there and heard me throwing up my insides. After I threw up I collapses into a ball. 

Chans POV.

 After jeongin left I immediately follow behind him. Im mad he didn't press charges but my mind is focusing on trying not to beat up leon. I reach the toilets to hear him throwing up and breathing heavily collaping on the floor. I push the door open gently before asking him. "why didn't you press charges I told you, you would be- " "shut up. Please." He interrupts me with his hoarse voice looking up at me. I could see that he is about to have a panic attack and the tears in his eyes.

I immediately crouch down and hug him. he tries to leave my big hug at first and as I was about to let go because I thought he was uncomfortable he began to cry and hold onto me tighter and tighter like I was his life line. I pick him up and place him on my lap so he could hug me tighter.

Jeongins POV.

I don't know why but I felt safe in chans arms. The safest I felt in a long time. I cling on to him till the bell goes. As it started to let go chan he pulled me closer before telling me in a stern voice "your not going to class." And I listen and I re-hug him. back to the warmth and comfort that I haven't felt in a long time.

After we hear all the voices leave and into classrooms he picks me up and walks me to his car he the lets go of me and puts me in his car. I shyly say a "thanks" and chan just nods driving me home playing the radio to fill the silence. As I was about to leave the car to hide myself. He said " I know were not friends but I wanna help you. Not just because of sympathy. and please don't hide your feeling as that will just drown you. You need to be week sometimes and that's ok."


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sorry this is really bad.


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