The Iron Badger

Chapter 9: An Aunt's Love

1

I remember from my youth when the sun first appeared. The sky was no longer a charcoal gray when the snowstorm came down upon us suddenly. I awoke the same way I did when Father left for his mission with Si. But this time I awoke in hopes of seeing my father and Si, a man that I knew as an uncle. Life as a way of turning things upside down. Aunt Aslis came to Mother and I on the wings of a giant snowstorm. Ease dropping on my aunt and Mother hearing how Aslis, my mother's sister betrayed her. I longed for my father. I missed him dearly that I have forgotten Ada entirely. I loved the blackness of her hair and how it shined in the warmth of the sun. I looked up to her... There was something different about her that I could not place a finger upon it. I felt there was something more to Ada than just a wife that cooked and cleaned. The question was... Did mother forget about Ada?

What awoken me was the sound of falling icicles and melted snow that slid off from our roof nearly sounding like a waterfall pouring down onto the ground in buckets. I looked out from my window where I slept. My thoughts were only on my father. Si even became secondary to me. I felt the weight of my body on my knees that kept me steady on my bed as I looked out the window, seeing a world of possibilities of Father's return.

I foolishly closed the curtains to my room but not realizing that I closed myself off to the ones I love and the ones that loved me. It was a lesson that I had to learn.

When I shut the curtains, I bothered not in getting dressed. Instead, I wore a nightgown keeping me warm from the night's chill. Ever since Aslis came to us, Mother and my aunt decided to take turns cooking. I was not sure at the time who was doing the cooking that morning until I saw Aslis placing my plate at the table. She smile warmly at me, and I like wise did the same. "Well... Good morning to you. Did you sleep well? Your mother decided to get some air. She will return shortly. Sit and eat. You can wash up later."

I sat smelling the eggs and ham on the plate. I looked up with a smile on my face. My aunt turned away from me as if she knew what was coming next. "I slept well." I said shoveling egg in my mouth. "I awoke to the sun in my face this morning. I saw how beautiful it is outside. Birds returned I see. I do not know about you, but—"

"I need you to stop! I know what you are going to say... And that needs to stop. Do you understand me? I do not want to hear about your father's return. If he returns today, then good... But, if he does not, I do not want you to be disappointed. Do you know why your mother leaves the house the way she does?"

I swallowed the egg then spoke. "No, I do not."

"It is you, Tara. She cannot deal with the hopes that you have. Have you not noticed your mother referring to your father in the past tense?"

I had but I refused to notice. "No! No! Father will return today. I can feel it. Maybe Mother and yourself had given up on Father, but I have not. The sky is clear, the sun is out.... By the gods! The snow is melting. I could understand why father would not return when you arrived. You slept with him behind mother's back. You were the one that brought shame to this house!" I slammed my fists on the table. "Maybe it is you. He knows you are here. There is a word for women like yourself. They are called sausage wallets! Harold did not want you and neither does my father. If Mother had a problem with my hopes up high, then she would have told me! I care not if you or Mother has lost faith—I have not."

I threw the plate at my aunt that I loved dearly. She was right and I knew it. I just did not want to see it. I hated her for saying what she said but it had to be said. I ran to the only place that I could be alone with Father in spirit. I went to Ce-Na, the twisted tree. I missed my father and Si. I needed to be alone. But I was not.