regrets

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part 2 of hate
TW// contains mention of ED and fainting. please do not read of those subjects are triggering..

your eyes fluttered open as you woke up from your sleep. you realize your still in taylor's arms from the night before. you look up and see taylor looking down at you.

"hey beautiful." she said while stroking your hair.

"hey tay" you say.

"how are you feeling?" tay asked.

"not great to be honest." you say with a sigh.

"how about i make you breakfast?" tay said.

you were really hungry, but you didn't want to eat anything after you saw what people were saying about your weight.

"um.. i'm not really hungry tay." you say not sounding convincing.

"y/n, i know your hungry. you can't be hurting yourself just because of what people say on the internet. i think your perfect just the way you are." taylor said cupping your cheeks.

"tay, i'm really not hungry." you lied.

"i don't care what you say, i'm making you food." taylor said as she got up from the bed.

you rolled her eyes. as taylor made her way downstairs, you decided to watch tv as you waited. a few moments passed until taylor called you down for food.

"y/n! breakfast!" taylor yelled.

you dreadfully got out of bed and made your way downstairs. you sat down on one of the stools and taylor handed you a plate. you poked around at your food on the plate. taylor had already eaten half of her food.

"y/n, you have to eat, come on." taylor said.

you glanced over at taylor and she furrowed her eyebrows at you.

"ugh, fine" you said as you placed the pancake in your mouth. it was good but it felt wrong to be eating. you were slowly eating your food, when all of a sudden taylor's phone rang.

"hold on, baby, i gotta take this." taylor said as she got up.

you nodded your head.

"you better be done with your food by the time i finish this call." taylor yelled from the other room.

you started to eat the rest of your food as you were pretty hungry.

"y/n, i'm so sorry but i need to go to the studio." taylor said and she walked back into the room.

"it's okay tay i'll be fine here don't worry." you say with a reassuring smile.

"okay i just worry. hopefully i won't be long. love you!" she said as she grabbed her belongings.

"love you too tay!" you said.

as soon as the door closed. you rushed upstairs to your room and checked the security cameras to ensure that taylor really was gone. once you saw that she was gone, you went into the bathroom.

you forced yourself to throw up the food you just ate. you didn't want to gain weight. you were fat in your mind. you decided that you diet would just consist of water.

you wanted to get rid of the weight quickly so you decided to go to the gym.

this went on for about a week until taylor started to notice. she noticed as she was watching you one day.

"y/n?" tay asked softly.

"yeah?" you answer.

"are you feeling okay? you look a lot thinner." taylor said.

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