Don't take it Personal

Self Reflection

I lay in bed, my mind consumed by the haunting question: Who am I? Clutching the journal my therapist recommended, I confronted my own confusion and stubbornness. It dawned on me that discovering my true self was a profound journey beyond mere labels like caring and loving.

Determined, I resolved to dedicate this week to introspection. Before I could delve into it, a text message rudely interrupted my thoughts. Trey had been in an accident. Panic seized me, and I scrambled to dress, knowing that Black was on his way to pick me up.

We rushed to Uwi Hospital and anxiously informed the front desk. The receptionist told us Trey was in surgery, and we had to wait for the doctor's word. My palms were slick with sweat at the mere thought of something terrible happening to him. A police officer approached, delivering the crushing news that a trailer had collided with Trey on the highway. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I whispered to Black, "We must inform his mother, but arrange for transportation."

Black nodded, dialing a taxi number as I called her. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was 1 AM. "Good morning, Mrs. Williams," I greeted tentatively.

"Stephanie, is that you?" Her voice trembled with foreboding.

I fought to hold back tears as I revealed the horrifying accident and assured her that help was on the way. She remained astonishingly calm, a rock in the midst of chaos. Trey was her only family.

Sitting in the hospital chair, Black still on the phone, I pondered, "Who is Stephanie?" I am resilient, strong, and fiercely independent. I possess the qualities to embrace love and allow it to find me. Most importantly, I realized I cared for Trey more than I'd ever admitted, my fear preventing me from acknowledging my feelings.

Thirty minutes later, Mrs. Williams arrived, offering comfort by holding my trembling hands. She was reassuring herself as much as me.

The doctor appeared and explained the grim situation-Trey was in an induced coma due to swelling on his temporal lobe and a broken right hand. We were allowed into his room, where we gazed upon him connected to tubes. My heart shattered; I wished I had confessed my feelings sooner.

"Mrs. Williams, you can stay here. Black can take you to my apartment or Trey's so you can get some rest," I offered, determined to reassure her and ensure she found some solace. She opted to go to Trey apartment.

I remained in Trey's room, contemplating the passage of time and wondering what the future held for us.

Uncertainty weighed heavily on my mind as I approached the hospital that evening. Three weeks had elapsed since Trey had fallen into a coma, and my thoughts were consumed by questions that loomed ominously. Would he still reciprocate his feelings once he awoke from this seemingly endless slumber? What did the enigmatic future hold for us?

Over the past three weeks, my life has fallen into a repetitive rhythm, a structured routine that revolves around work, therapy, and the hospital. It's been a journey of self-discovery, an exploration of my own psyche and an attempt to understand the triggers that have shaped me.

As I prepare for the upcoming week, I know it's going to be a pivotal point in this journey of self-exploration. It's time to delve into the depths of my family dynamics. First on the list is my dad, who will be accompanying me to therapy. This initial encounter promises to be a critical moment, a chance to scrutinize our relationship, to lay bare the complexities that have defined it for so long.

Following that, I'll muster the courage to approach my mother. My therapist believes that she should be the first to join our sessions, citing reasons I may not fully comprehend at the moment. The mere thought of confronting my family's tangled web of emotions and histories leaves me overwhelmed. There's so much to ponder, to unpack, and it's a weighty endeavor indeed.

Amidst all this introspection and analysis, I find solace in the subtle transformations taking place within me. I'm beginning to embrace the newfound version of myself that's emerging from this process. It's as though I'm shedding old layers, uncovering aspects of my identity that have long remained concealed.

Beyond my parents, this journey will eventually lead me to confront other significant relationships in my life, notably Miller and my sister. Each encounter holds its own set of challenges and revelations, but it's all part of the path toward self-understanding and personal growth. In this process of self-discovery, I'm gradually learning to navigate the intricate landscape of my own emotions, and it's a journey I'm learning to embrace, one step at a time.

After a long day at work, I made a pit stop at Island Grill, picking up two "just nuff" meals - one for myself and the other for Mrs. Williams, who had been a constant presence at Trey's bedside. As I navigated the hospital corridors, my heart sank at the sight of a distressed woman, clearly anguished by her partner's condition. I sidestepped her emotional outburst, eventually reaching Mrs. Williams, who sat with a heavy heart.

"Please don't cause any..." she began, but her voice trailed off as recognition dawned. Her eyes spoke volumes, hinting at the unspoken anxieties we both harbored. I chose not to pry, opting instead to offer a small, comforting smile.

"Brought you some dinner, Mrs. Williams," I offered, breaking the silence that hung between us.

"Oh, thank you, darling," she replied with gratitude. The nurse's arrival interrupted our exchange as she attended to Trey's condition. I found myself lost in thought, desperately seeking signs of progress.

The doctor's entrance marked a moment of hope as he updated us on Trey's condition. "Right now, we are awaiting his awakening, but overall, everything seems to be stable," he reassured us. Mrs. Williams engaged in conversation with the doctor while I sat by Trey's side, reminiscing about our shared childhood memories. Unexpectedly, emotions overwhelmed me, and tears welled up in my eyes.

Mrs. Williams joined me at Trey's bedside, offering words of solace. "Everything will be okay, Stephanie. Trey loves you, and he knows you love him. You're the woman he wants."

The sincerity and warmth in her words touched my heart. "I care about him so deeply. I just wish I had told him sooner," I confided.

"Stephanie, Trey is aware of your feelings. He's just waiting for you to accept it," Mrs. Williams assured me with a reassuring smile. In that moment, we witnessed a flicker of life as Trey's fingers moved, and his eyes fluttered open. My immediate reaction was to summon the doctor, unaware that the woman I had passed by at the front desk had now entered the room. Ignoring her presence, I focused on Trey as he uttered my name, "Stephanie."

Before he could say anything more, the doctor arrived, and we were momentarily separated. As the medical team tended to him and left, I approached Trey, who was engaged in conversation with his mother. She informed him of my unwavering presence, both in the evenings and on weekends, causing a crimson blush to overtake my cheeks.

"I'm so glad you're here," Trey expressed with sincerity, a warm smile gracing his lips. Before I could respond, the mysterious woman from earlier entered the room, addressing Trey affectionately as "Trey baby." Mrs. Williams, clearly taken aback, interjected with a protective stance, "Little girl ."

"Mommy I got this " Trey said

Confusion swept over me as I pondered the identity of this unexpected visitor. Who was this woman claiming such familiarity with Trey?

Author Note

Early Update , thank you for reading voting and commenting 💕