Hot Showers (Ianthony)

Chapter 11

Letting out a dry sob of desperation, Ian let himself keel over and his face solidly made impact with the wheel. He had been driving all over Sacramento for at least four, maybe five hours straight, searching Anthony's favorite places to try to uncover any pointers to his current location. The drive had exhausted him both physically and mentally, but the fact that it was near eleven o'clock at night didn't exactly help his case.

Like I told you before, he doesn't want you anymore. You shouldn't be looking for what seeks to only heart you.

Since when did you know what the word "seeks" meant?

You're only distracting yourself from the truth.

As hard as it was to admit, Ian was beginning to accept his mind's words of so-called "wisdom". Apparently, if Anthony didn't care to let Ian find him to apologize, then there was no point. Besides, even if he did manage to find him, it was still uncertain if he would forgive Ian or not.

"I'm such a dumbass for thinking that he cared about me..." Ian whispered to himself hoarsely (from calling Anthony's name repetitively), no tears present. His voice was monotone, and his statement resolute.

"I should have never gone looking for trouble. And I should have never taken that stupid shower in the first place." His face was devoid of all emotion, and he sat back up straight, eyes blank and tired of all the trouble he had been through for nothing.

He was parked in the parking lot of Taco Bell as a last-resort effort to find Anthony. Maybe he had been craving cheap Mexican food? It had seemed unlikely, but Ian's hope had driven him to every corner of the damn city to find his love. Love? Well, if this was love, he didn't want to feel it anymore. Love was not learning. Love was pain.

Ian turned the key in his car's ignition to start up the engine, headlights flashing on as energy flowed into the vehicle. The radio also turned on, which was strange since he didn't have it on even before he decided to park the car and shut off the power. It was tuned to one of those crappy pop stations, and just as he moved to turn it off, the advertisement that had been playing when it turned on (something about McDonald's) shut off and a song began playing to a catchy beat that Ian instantly recognized.

"There was a time... I used to look into my father's eyes. In a happy home, I was a king, I had a gold throne. Those days are gone, now the memory's on the wall. I hear the songs from the places where I was born..." Ian began unconsciously nodding his head to the beat and gently tapping his feet. Whether he would admit it or not, this song was one that he considered to be about his life. He could feel himself in the lyrics, and he started singing along.

"Upon a hill, across a blue lake... That's where I had my first heartbreak. I still remember how it all changed. My father said, 'Don't you worry, don't you worry child. See, heaven's got a plan for you... Don't you worry, don't you worry child... Yeah." As the main beat dropped, Ian broke out into a full out dance, and whether it was stylish or not, he still felt like it was right.

For the next couple of minutes, he sang the rest of Swedish House Mafia's masterpiece and continued dancing, even rolling down the windows so the world could hear his imperfect singing. He was practically bellowing the lyrics by the time the song ended, and was slightly panting because of all the energy he had put into his performance.

It was all the encouragement he needed.

He drove out of Taco Bell's parking lot safely, yet efficiently. He needed Anthony there, and there was not a doubt in his mind that Anthony needed him too. It was the same surge of absolute hope that he had felt the night he had bounded to Anthony's room to apologize. He knew that everything would eventually come to a rest, no matter the outcome.

As soon as Ian hit the road's pavement, he was speeding along like there was no tomorrow. While steadying the steering wheel with one hand, the other changed the radio station and, after a few seconds of flipping through different channels, he found what he was looking for. Yet again, Don't You Worry Child was playing. Luck, or a miracle? It was something to contemplate at a different time. Right now, all he needed was his other half.

Ian was screaming the song lyrics at the top of his lungs again, and the windows were still opened from his first private concert, so the whole street was filled with the sound of Ian's voice and the hope within it. Even though he had no idea where he was going, he knew what he was doing, and that was all that mattered at the moment.

The song was about halfway over when he spotted who he was looking for. His angel was sitting on the curb of an intersection, lights from the many restaurants and gas stations reflecting off his sunglasses. Ian, who was lucky enough to be in the lane closest to the curb, honked the horn at Anthony, who looked up and immediately jumped from his sitting position and rushed at the car. He was in the passenger seat before the red light Ian had been waiting on turned green.