Hot Showers (Ianthony)

Chapter 13

When the duo reached their home, Ian used his remote that he kept in the car to open the garage door so he could park. Shutting the garage door behind them, Anthony led Ian into the house, where they both sat down at the Lunchtime with Smosh table.

Ian noted that Anthony had cleaned up the tacos that had been on the table the night before. He hadn't even noticed until the present, which didn't make him feel so hot.

Wow, Ian. Way to appreciate Anthony's thoughtfulness.

"Thanks for cleaning up in here," Ian said with conviction.

How's that for appreciation?

"Oh, uh, you're welcome," Anthony responded. His hands made their way onto the table and began tapping a frantic beat that sounded almost desperate. His dark eyes glared at the table in a way that was annoying Ian.

Why is he ignoring you?

Shut up. He probably just doesn't know what to say.

Anthony's fingers thrummed even faster to an unsteady beat. Ian realized that it was just a nervous habit of Anthony's, the way Ian himself messed with his own hair when uncertain. Ian pulled his fingers out of his hair when he realized that he, too, was not innocent of causing this uncomfortable atmosphere. When Anthony's fingers tripled the speed at which they were drumming, Ian slowly reached out and put his hand on top of Anthony's fidgeting hand and grasped it tightly, stopping all motion. Anthony was forced to look at Ian, and he appeared like a lost puppy.

"What were you gonna tell me?" he asked in a way that shamed Ian even further. He sounded so... Lost. Strayed. Aloof.

Letting himself retract his hand, Ian said, "Well, for starters, were you awake last night when I apologized?" Anthony nodded his head slowly.

Dammit. Now you can't recycle the same speech.

SHUT UP.

"Well," Ian swallowed thickly, "I didn't exactly say any more than an apology, so... Here it goes.

"That night of the shower... Well, this sounds really stupid out loud, but I heard a voice in my head that kept trying to get me to get together with you. It didn't really freak me out at the time because I've heard it before, just not as frequent as now."

Anthony's eyebrows furrowed. "Now?"

"Yeah. In fact, I'm tuning it out right now so I can talk." It was true - the voice was screaming at Ian to leave Anthony, that Anthony didn't like Ian anymore, and other things slightly related to Anthony.

Letting a grin slide onto his face slowly, Anthony declared, "Okay, I forgive you. I actually kind of forgave you last night, but then I didn't know what to think, so I ran, but you found me. End of that story. But... If the voice's just leading you on, how is that bad?" Anthony leaned across the table so that he could whisper in Ian's ear, "In fact... I may like it that way."

Ian shook his head urgently and unintentionally yelled, "But that's just it! It changed... Now it's telling me that I'm not good enough for you... And you don't like me." Ian's voice began wavering as he sucked in his tears. "I'm sc-scared that I"m-m starting t-to b-b-believe it." His hands were shaking in his pockets as he exposed his secrets for Anthony to observe. "Every d-damn time I t-try to make up-p with you... It's like I'm a-at war with m-m-myself." The salt water began spilling over Ian's cheeks, coating them so that they glistened in the light.

Ah, so weak. He'll never take you in now. In a million years, he still wouldn't love you. You aren't enough. You are alone.

"NO!" screamed Ian as he leaped to his feet and ran to his room, plowing through the door and smashing his body onto his bed. He was thrashing wildly, a fish out of water, screaming the same things over and over again.

"NO! I DON'T WANT IT! SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! YOU ARE NOT ME!" he howled, tossing over and letting his tears stain the sheets.

Anthony followed Ian into his room and watched the blueprints of Ian's psyche crumble. He was in hysterics, and Anthony honestly feared that Ian was gone.

It was as though he had gone insane.

Rushing to his boyfriend's side, Anthony climbed onto the bed with him and straddled his struggling waist, which was instantly weighed down. He then snatched Ian's wrists and held them above his head. Ian had silenced, staring into Anthony's chocolate eyes with blind depression.

"I'm... Not... Enough..." Ian whispered, tear-coated cheeks growing more soaked by the second. The tears streamed down both sides of his face, falling the pillow below his head.

"You are! You are enough!" insisted Anthony, who was leaned over so their faces were mere inches apart. It was like in the shower all over again, and Ian's wet face only added to the affect. Ian's dialated pupils shrank by a fraction, and the tears flowed a little slower.

He sat up to kiss Anthony.

The two met halfway, and the tension between them only resulted in more passion, more spark as the kiss progressed. The voice screaming in Ian's head began getting a little softer.

What the hell are you doing? Stop, he doesn't love you! He only wants to break your heart, to use you!

The kiss deepened, and the Smosh partners began connecting on a level that even married couples rarely reached. Anthony's tongue ran over Ian's lips, and Ian gratefully let Anthony's tongue into his mouth.

No! Stop it!

The voice got even quieter when Ian pushed his own tongue into Anthony's mouth.

Fuck you, you sick bastard!

Even though it was trying to scream at him, it only came out as a whisper, and faded tenfold when Ian began taking Anthony's shirt off and rubbing his bare shoulders.

No, no, NO!

He could hardly hear it now, so he separated from Anthony, who seemed to understand.

"I love you," Ian murmured, that half-smile grazing his lips once more.

"I love you too."

The voice disappeared completely.

Author's Note:

Dear readers,

Thank you so much for reading/voting/reviewing! You guys and gals have taken me on a thrill ride that led to the end of this story, and I praise you for it. I didn't want this to end, but my Spring Break is starting and I won't be able to take my laptop where I'm going, so, once again, thank you for considering Hot Showers.

                                                                                                        - totallycheesey