lilies.

60

Kabanata 60

"No, don't answer that," He immediately took it back, "We're already near," He said, shifting the topic.

I know it's wrong to be in a relationship without the certainty that I am really over my first love...but will I ever forget him? Will you really ever forget your first love?

"Did she already say yes to you that's why you're here?" salubong ni Grandma sa amin nang mamataan kami na pumasok sa dining room. Unang nakipagbeso si Grandma kay Rai.

Nakaupo sa kabisera si Grandma. Rai waited for me to greet my grandma, standing at my back.

"You met him, ma?" Mommy asked Grandma. Nakipagbeso rin ito rito matapos ko.

"Where do you wanna sit?" He whispered. I pointed to my usual seat. Hinatak niya ang upuan na iyon at hinintay ako na makaupo bago niya ayusin iyon at naupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Thank you," I smiled.

"I met him just recently, he's courting your daughter, you didn't know?" tanong ni Grandma, "That's because you are so busy! Wala kang oras para sa pamilya."

"Really? How did you two meet again?"

"Through Gab, Mommy. They're friends."

"Your best friend, Lily? You're still friends with that boy? He's way out of your league."

"Grandma!"

"Ma!"

Sabay naming puna ni Mommy kay Grandma. Ito na naman siya pag-classify ng mga tao na dapat kong kaibiganin.

"What?!" maangmaangan ni Grandma. Then she changed the topic, "So, Rai, sinagot ka na ba?"

Gumawi ang tingin ni Rai sa akin. Waiting for confirmation or approval? I just nodded my head then he looked at my Grandma, "Yes, she's my girlfriend now, Tita Elena."

I'm waiting for Mommy to go against it. Pagalitan ako o di kaya ay paalisin si Rai pero hindi nangyari. Half of me already expected that she would react that way. Another half of me believed that she's the same as how she was when I was in Grade 6. What changed? My age? Or she believed that she doesn't have a say on my love choices because I knew that she failed on that aspect of her life. Miserably. She's ashamed of it as much as I am. Who wouldn't?

"Rai had a huge crush on Lily when he was 12 or 13? Around that age, I think?" That's the only response Mommy said.

"Tita, you're exposing me," Rai said jokingly and grinned.

Mommy laughed but not the hysterical laugh. It's like a calm laugh. She's still stiff and still like how she is.

"Who wouldn't?" Grandma answered proudly, "She's the most beautiful and I'm not saying it because she's my granddaughter."

Nag-init agad ang pisngi ko sa sinasabi ni Grandma. Nahihiya.

"You're right, Tita Elena..."

"They only met once though, Mama, I never asked Lily to go to the hospital after that because Lily was too young then; but Rai came back every summer... there are occurrences that even if it was not summer... so persistent."

Grandma smiled so widely as if fascinated. I listened attentively though. Hindi ko alam 'yon. I want to tease him with that fact but I felt extra special because of that knowledge. How he persistently pursued me...wow. Something that I really admired on someone is having courage.

Something that Adriel would never do. Singhal ko sa sarili.

Ipinaalam ni Rai ang tungkol sa pagpunta namin sa Greece kinabukasan. Grandma seemed relieved when Rai already booked the first class tickets. She never mind where I am going or whom I am with as long as I maintain our social status... and of course within her social class. Mommy doesn't like the idea at all. Between the two, Mommy is the more of the traditional one.

"Make sure you're sleeping in different rooms," Striktang paalala ni Mommy, "Ma, you should join them!"

"Why would I join them? They're a couple, Catherine! You want me to be a third wheel?" Histerya ni Grandma. "Why don't you?"

Hearing the word third wheel from Grandma sounds so wrong. She's really staying on the trend.

The night was exceptionally smooth. I feel like they like him. They didn't explicitly tell me but I can feel it...even Mommy. I thought she wouldn't agree.

Since our flight departs early in the morning, Grandma asked Rai to stay in the mansion. We slept in different rooms while Mom departed for the hospital...as always.

I don't usually stay in the mansion because I find it enormous. Our house in Parkland is big enough to feel alone. It's more evident here.

I didn't pack clothes or anything. I don't really like the hassle of checking in the luggages or waiting for it even though there is someone who helps us with it so we decided to buy clothes there.

After taking a shower and changing into my typical pajamas, I went out to find Grandma.

Binisita ko muna ang kwarto kung nasaan si Rai. I knocked. I can't hear any footsteps even when I put my ears near the door. Is he asleep?

The door abruptly opens while I'm leaning, making me lose my balance. He's swift to catch me though. My whole weight fell unto him.

"Why are you eavesdropping?" He teased me.

I tried to collect myself. Sinubukan kong kumawala sa hawak niya. He just tightened his hold and swiftly enveloped me into a hug.

"Grandma might see us."

"Hmm?"

"Makita tayo ni Grandma," parang tanga kong tinagalog ang sinabi kasi hindi niya naintindihan.

Alam ko naman, sinabi niya iyon dahil baka hindi niya lang narinig.

Hinigpitan niya pa lalo ang yakap.

"I missed you."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay. "Kanina pa tayo magkasama. Naligo lang ako."

"Even so. I still miss you. And, hmm," He whispered seductively, "You smell so good."

"I just check to say goodnight. I'm going to Grandma."

"Uh-huh," He answered. Itinaas niya ang isang kamay para hawakan ang baba ko. He slightly tilted my head using my chin to level him, then he bowed his head to put light kisses on my forehead.

Kinakabahan ako na may makakita sa amin pero parang kinikiliti rin ang tyan ko sa ginawa niya. I bit my lower lip. Inawang ko ang labi ko.

Bumaba ang mabababaw niyang halik sa tungki ng ilong ko. My breathing is heavy, anticipating. I deliberately close my eyes.

Our proximity is really close. I can feel his breath on my lips. I can hear his heartbeat...and mine.

"Your grandma might see us," He whispered under his breath and I heard his low chuckle.

Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Oo nga! Ayaw ko pa kanina. Bumigay din naman ako. I make a face and turn my back on him, stomping my feet. Pinikit ko ng mariin ang mata ko. I shook my head to forget how embarrassed I am.

Hinatak niya ang braso ko pabalik. I turned beautifully like those turn in dances. I saw his playful smile before he leaned down to meet my lips. It was swift and a light kiss. Mabilis lang iyon at hindi ko pa nagawang pumikit sa gulat.

My body responded by lightly hitting his chest with my palm. Matapos ay tumakbo na ako papunta sa hagdan. Lumingon ako habang nakangiti nang nasa bandang hagdan na ako at malayo na sa kanya.

He also grinned. Sinuklay ang kamay sa buhok. I saw him mouthed something because of the distance, I didn't catch it. Nagpatuloy ako sa pagbaba sa grand staircase. I fished for my phone and typed in my text.

Me:
What did you say? Hindi ko naintindihan

Rai:
You taste sweet, baby