The Dark Lord's Horcrux

stares

I could feel everyone's beady eyes on me. Everyone except Cedric's. That stupid fartface. Why  won't he stop blabbering to that ravenclaw monkey Chom Ching if that's her name .  He might as well be cheating on me even if we're not dating. I'm too tiny for that kind of commitment.

I'm kind of sort of maybe possibly perhaps slightly allergic to work, and my house is full of snakes. literally. i saw pansy parkinson making out with a cobra in yesterday.

I plop my teeny tiny round butt next to Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. Shes so perfect, im jealous. I wish i could look like a bucket-head pug. She seems to hate me so much. Yesterday, she asked me the TIME. how could she even assume that i have the eyes to read the time. Im slenderman. But ugly.

Her face twitched, and the pointy parts of her mouth rose up. What was she doing. was she crying? was she going to puke? is she happy or is she dying? 

i don't know

because I've never seen this face before.  i think shes trying to be a happy smurf. la-la-la-la-la.

"Hey Y/N,look at Granger," she said in a nasally high pitched voice, like baba yaga. ooh, so scary. i started screaming, and dumped a boul of soup on my head so that no one would see my distorted face.

then, i ran like naruto into a brick wall. oh wait, it was cedric bedric medric wedric diggory. i cried. 

he looked at me like a gigachad, and i blushed so much i turned into a weasley. so i cried again. 

"hey babygworl" he whispered into my ear. we were the same height. almost. i was a giant, so he bumped into my jaw. i cried. i was very petite, and he broke my head into 1129487193618893186591386009288459657365938640209374204792385732857322198418247218074201847292 pieces. so i turned into jelly and cha-cha-real smoothed out of the great hall and toppled onto draco malfoy. 

he giggled.

"Darling." he said. i cried. so, he inched forward to my face, and i thought he was going to eat my nose, so i apparated because my witchy skills pay the bills ( we never have bills, daddy's loaded like a tomato rifle or whatever the mudbloods call it) and died. then, i changed into my $120842170r32146106358610561305817364276391278680680792 garbage bag. and cried. 

but you know what. 

I'm ugly and i know it. 

so i sang. i sang about my baby cedric. and then katniss everdeen came out of the closet, shot this bird in the butt and died. before her blonde hunk of a boyfriend came here, i sang. about my baby.

Oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-ooh-whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh.

You know you love me (yo), I know you care (uh-huh)

Just shout whenever (yo), and I'll be there (uh-huh)

You are my love (yo), you are my heart (uh-huh)

And we will never, ever, ever be apart (yo, uh-huh)

Are we an item? (Yo) boy, quit playin' (uh-huh)

"We're not even friends" (yo), what are you sayin'? (Uh-huh)

Said, "There's another" (yo), and looked right in my eyes (uh-huh)

My millionth love broke my heart for the first time, and I was like (yo, uh-huh)

"Baby, baby, baby, oh"