Live Forever

4: Slide Away - Part 1

A/N:  This one is from Hermione's perspective and moves the timeline forward but not before covering a bit of prior ground.

Don't know, don't care, all I know is you can take me there...

July 30, 1995

As she stalked the aisles of John Lewis looking for the nicest (but not too nice) and most (this was very important) normal jumpers Hermione tried not to let herself be distracted by the anxiety that seemed to be growing by the second.

When Hermione had informed her parents she would be visiting Harry on Monday instead of the standard Tuesday schedule she hadn't even considered that they would ask why. Not only had they asked why, they had, inexplicably, decided to come along and join in the celebration. She appreciated the sentiment...she really did...and she knew Harry would more than likely appreciate their presence. But there was a small part...the part that had been present since he'd rescued her from the troll...that feared she would overwhelm him. She had gotten better at managing the urge over the years but it seemed her daily existence hovered precipitously close to crossing that line...the overwhelming Harry line.

"Hermione are you even listening to me?"

Oh right, her mother was here and she was meant to be shopping...not worrying about overwhelming Harry.

"I was asking whether Harry wore boxers or briefs," she informed.

"Boxers," Hermione replied automatically, "but nothing outrageous. Stick to basic patterns or solid colors. Dark blue or green would be best...basic red or scarlet would be fine as well."

Hermione had almost put her mother's presence out of her mind and recommenced her worrying before she began speaking again.

"Do I want to know how you know that?" she asked. Her mother looked far too amused for Hermione's liking.

"Mother," she said in a scandalized hush, "it's nothing like that. I've learned a few packing spells and Harry would just throw everything into his trunk at the end of term if I didn't help. I just give him a bit of help in organizing and - Why are you looking at me that way?" she asked in annoyance.

Hermione knew exactly why she was looking at her that way. Her mum always knew.

"He isn't my boyfriend," she muttered angrily, remembering the conversation with Professor McGonagall a few days prior. She wished she'd never thought of switching up the days for Harry's birthday. Her parents were going to embarrass her and overwhelm Harry to no end. The only important thing was for Harry to have a good birthday and all of her plans were being mucked with.

Hermione stalked back into the section of tops furthest away from her mother. She needed to focus on finding the nicest (but not too nice) jumpers she could find and she was sick of being teased.

It was several minutes and four selections later that her mother approached her once again, now much more reserved.

"What do you think?" she offered as she held up several packages. They were perfect...nice but not extraordinary.

"Those are good; did you make sure to get Large? I know they'll be a bit big on him but I can-"

"Shrink them down and modify the enchantment as he grows a bit," her mother finished for her quietly so as not to be overheard. "I've followed your instructions to the letter, dear." Based on her tone it was clear that she knew her jokes had touched a particularly raw nerve. She always knew.

"Let's pay for these and get something to eat," her mother informed, grabbing the shirts from her before she could properly protest.

"I'm sorry for teasing you, Janey," her mother offered ten minutes later as she idly stirred her tea.

Hermione stared at her own tea as her face suddenly became warm. She'd shared so much with her parents over the last few weeks but had held on stubbornly to one secret. It turns out it was pointless to be so secretive. Mum always knew. Apparently even her father had sorted it out.

"Does he know?" she asked.

She shook her head no, her head remaining firmly facing down. She added another spot of milk to her tea as a distraction to pretend there was as an actual reason she was finding her beverage so fascinating.

"Do you think he feels the same?"

"I think so," she mumbled as she continued to stir. "He's been looking at me differently. I think. It's hard with Harry..." she trailed off.

Hermione waited for her mother to continue with her interrogation but silence prevailed. Her curiosity overtook her embarrassment and she looked up. Her mother looked so bereft as she continued to stir.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," she finally offered with a sad smile. "We were supposed to laugh and giggle about who you had your eye on and I was supposed to happily offer advice."

"You don't want me to be involved with Harry?" she asked in confusion. She hadn't been lying to Harry...Hermione honestly thought her mother would gladly take Harry in if allowed.

"Of course that's not it," her mother replied, "I would hope our actions this summer would have proven that. But honey, this isn't just any boy. You are already so close and Harry is...damaged."

She suddenly couldn't take her eyes off of her mother...her agitation immediately surging. "That isn't fair," she replied angrily. "You don't even know-"

"I know it's not his fault, Hermione...but that doesn't change the reality of the situation. Allowing you to go to Hogwarts was terrifying for your father and me. We knew that we couldn't stop you...that it was in your best interests...but that didn't make it any less terrifying. This is very much the same for me."

"If you think he is going to hurt me-"

"I'm saying this all wrong," her mother muttered before taking a breath and beginning again.

"I'm saying you need to be absolutely sure of your feelings. You have the power to go from being the best thing that has ever happened to Harry to being the worst. And he has the same power over you."

"Hang on. You're worried about...Harry?"

Her mother laughed...an honest to goodness laugh that drew the attention of nearby customers. "Of course I am. But I'm worried about you as well. Did you think I was trying to talk you out of your feelings?"

"Um...yes," she offered uncertainly.

"Hermione Jane Granger," you have been a force of nature since you were five years old. Trying to stop you once you've set your mind to something is like trying to stop a tidal wave."

"I'm not that bad," Hermione muttered.

"You are absolutely that bad and you know it," her mother chastised. "It's one of your best traits.

"Is there a point to all this?" Hermione asked, her face warming. Her tea had suddenly become very interesting once again.

"Stop pouting and look at me," her mother ordered. She immediately looked up.

She began speaking again in the calm voice that screamed pay attention. "I'm going to ask you something...and I want you to really think before answering. What will you do if you learn Harry doesn't feel the same way?"

She began to answer but was quickly interrupted.

"Please humor me. Take a few seconds and at least pretend to consider your answer."

Hermione tried not to smile as she pretended to consider her mother's question for several seconds.

"Long enough?" she asked, waiting for her mother's amused nod before continuing. "I'll still be his friend."

Her mother raised an inquiring eyebrow. "You can live with that?"

"I won't abandon Harry," she answered immediately. "Ever."

"Then show him," she answered, "because if he's been treated half as badly as you think he won't have a clue how to do it. Now let's go get some socks."