Pain is Just a Word-(Eng Version)

I'm waiting...just wish...

Chapter 2

The years that I had waited with so much patience and anxiety were of no use because when the time comes everything can be rebuilt as much as it can be destroyed.

Ron who was my butler appointed by the earl to look after me when I was born; Ron was previously my mother's butler.

Ever since I was born Ron it was like he was a father figure to me.

.

In the "palace" I had no one to stay with or a place...

I was alone as usual, nothing strange.

My story is long and sad but I won't deny that sometimes I'm grateful for it.

But the memories I carry with me are heavy and the knowledge that I won't be able to forget them is a constant torment of nightmares and fear.

I could have been traumatized by it, I am aware that I cannot change now.

...

The day my mother died I didn't express any emotion as they had said... I hadn't cried or rejected the fact... but I accepted what had happened.

The blurry memories that appear every time I sleep become clearer and more painful.

Ever since I was born I had a very weak constitution like my mother, the count at that time was overprotective of my mother.

The relationship we have with each other is different from how it appears on the outside.

I have had the experience of feeling happiness but not for long and I accept it as such.

...

I am aware of other people's problems... And if I can do something then...

I will do what is necessary to help even a little.

Thus began my bad reputation as a slacker... rubbish?

While I was drinking the wine I was more than conscious, I have always had a high stamina for wine but I blushed very quickly giving the impression of being drunk.

Using this trait to my advantage, the slacker of the count's family was born.

At the birth of the new me, as I had predicted, they began to support not me but my little brother, it was what I wanted and in the end I succeeded.

I did it...