The Love in You - Elon Musk x Reader

OH NO HE GOT WASHED AWAY 😵😵 feat ryan reynolds

You guys fell asleep on the sandy ass sand as Elon once again suckled on your juicy femboy nipnips. His Tesla-shaded orbs slowly opened as you glanced down at his cold rotund billionaire body.
"You're so horizontally challenged baby" you whisper kawaiily in his ear, smirking and ripping his grey hairs out so as to speed up the balding process.
"Nnh, 5 more minutés papi chulo" he grumbles, his voice rattling the prostate of the earth because his morning voice is so uwu desu. It is not actually morning, it is the middle of the day. You two got so high off of the goofberries you had stuffed in your pocket that you woke up extremely late and slept for three days straight.
"No get up whore" Elon was so flipen stinky bro you,couldn't stand it no more you had to waterboard him RIGHT NOW
Anyways so Elon got up but he struggled because you're alwYs railing the absolute shit out of him because he's a submissive and breedable omega. It was very windy so you had to hold onto him because since you're always insulting him for being a piggie his eating disorder demons took control again and now he's so dainty and petite and cutesy and you didn't want him to blow away in the wind because the only thing that blows Elon around here is you!!! Wow posesive much??.?
"Y/n Chan I'm feeling a little extra miniature today plz hold onto me tight daddy"
"Shut up u stank ass boy" Elon jizzed his pants at your demandingness and he had to sit down so that you could give him a diaper change PEEEEUUUUU 😷😷😵😵  but you left the diapers at home so....... You have to...... lick..... it up....... For him.......
"Aah... y-y/n, be careful, I'm sensitive down there 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖" Elon is squirming around and biting his hand so that he doesn't (s)cream on the beach in public again
"Shut up and let daddy do his job slut"
You decide to have a little bit of fun with his bitcock since it's technically been three days since you last boinked
"W-what are you doing?.."
"Just a bit of hand and mouth stuff relax I'm good at this" (me while I'm writing this)
You GRAB his peepee with all your strength and start stroking his metashaft, smirking while he moans and whimpers under your very aggressive touch.
"Ggghhhh haaah GRRRRAAAAAAHHH!!!" Elon starts to jumpscare you and he wiggles around more than before and he starts to growl and you can feel his weewee getting hairier....... OHNO,,,! HIS WERRWOLF DEMONS ARE TAKING OVER!!!!! you're actually a little turned on by this weirdo freakish transformation kinda thing he's got going on but not any more turned on thean you usually are so this is not something that will ever be discussed again. And now Elon is starting to go back to normal yaaay 😁
"mhhnnnnnn fffffrick 😵😵😵😵😵😵😵🆘🆘🆘" Elon has broken the skin on his hand and is now bleeding because you're literally jerking him so hard right now
"Oh, you like that? hahahaha fag" you nibble on his tip like a rabid bunny and go "omnomnomnomnomnom"
"Don't be mean to me hrrrghhhh nhyyyyaaaannnghhhh 😖😖😩😩" his voice is higher in pitch now as he leaks a little bit because he really likes being degraded because he's a fricking slut so you can tell he's getting close ! You grab a little pinch of sand and rub it a little on his peehole and as you continue to rub you bite his left nipple, looking up at his aging face to make sure he likes it which obviously he does because he's an exhibitionist weirdo
Ok anyways he coems and then you lick it up because #yolo
you're just chilling on the beach now, which you don't necessarily mind, you'd just prefer to have a little fun and excitement in your life. Ever since meeting Elon and becoming better friends with qwerty1..... you've been......... differnet........  you are now..... a crazy osychopa5ic bitch ass hedonist nihilist that craves excitement to fill the hole in the void inside your empty meta verse heart.
"Cmon bitch, it's time to go home!!!!!!" You call out to Elon-San. But... you receive no reply.....
"Elon? Baka? Senpai? My little pogchamp? My sussiest kitten? Sweetheart? Lovie? Darling? Whore? Slut? Prostitute?"
You put your hands on your head and make a shocked expression because that is what everyone does when their whore boyfriend suddenly goes missing. Did he run away from you? What did you do wrong? Did he finally find out about the real you? Did he get sick of you? He's going to come back, right? He can't live without you, so obviously he's going to come crawling back the second he realizes that you're the best thing for him. OMG YOURE SUCH A PSYCHO LMAO
You run around like an absolute madlad, a certified buffoon, a complete and utter nincompoop!!! Looking for your dearest lazy metaverse shill. Literally where could this bitch have gone?? His legs are all shriveled from that time he was impaled with the stripper pole and wasn't fed at all in the hospital so obviously he couldn't have walked away  and also you had him on a no carbs, no dairy, no fat, no protein, high air, no sugars, no saturated fats, no glucose, no bitched, no calories diet so he had ZERO energy, absolute NADA, so he literally had to ride around in a wheelchair for a while until he got back on a normal diet HE WAS LITERALLY CRIPPLED where the hell could he have gone bro
You were very confused so you continued to look around until you were like "omg I don't even care bro" and you sat down and looked up at the sky and 🙀🙀 OMG!!!!!!!!!! THERE HE WAS!!!! ELON IN THE SKYYYYY WITH DIIIAAAAMMOOOONDS!!!!!!!!!!!! (In case you're not a groovy hippie, that's a Beetles reference. I am not a groovy hippie, i am a normal guy, but in English class i had to do an analysis of Lucy in the sky with diamonds so i have been cracking references whenever i can.) He was floating away and sleeping and somehow he was less dense than the air so he just continued to rise. What the actual flip! This guy! This absolute stinky! This rambunctious man! You had to think of a way to get him down, and FAST!!!!!!!!!! You accidentally drop your phone but you catch it just a bajillamillicentisecond before it falls into the ocean. OMG!!!!! You accidentally called qwerty1!!!!! This is probably not the worst way this could've gone, so you let the phone ring. Qwerty1 answers.
"U-ugh, haaah, |-|111111111 63$713!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He is very obviously sucking someone's metacock while getting fingered from behind SOOOOOOO you decide to cut to the chase
"Hey guy i need ur helpz LOLZ 3l0n izzzzz fl04t1ng 4w4y so 1 n33d ur helpz 2 g3t h1m 0u7 0f th3 $kyyyyyy LULZ" you yell at him through the phone so that he can hear you better over the sounds of his Funtime orgy
"Ok cool ill be theAAANNGHHH thehaaaahhhhrrrrr haaahhh mmphhh nhhgghghhh" bro does this guy ever give himself a break??????????
True to his word, qwerty1 arrives within 3 minutes, but then he actually arrives at your location after 15 minutes
(That was a sex joke, the first time he arrived is when he ejaculated and then the second time is when he drove over to you in his orgy partybus)
obviously worn-out from his 7-day sextabulous strip-club-hikikomori bonanza, qwerty1 walks over to you. You forget how scruffy and masculine he looks when he's not absolutely drugged up. He's actually pretty hot when he's not acting like an absolute twink
"K, what's up" he asks
"Elons floating away bro"
"Cool, lets get im down er somethin"
Qwerty1 looks back at his men and yells something but you have no idea what the hell he said but he made a hand movement and suddenly his men started to stack stripper poles and stick them together with day-old semen and dirty bondage rope from that one porn film qwerty1 made in his backyard like three months ago that was never discussed in previous chapters because qwerty1 hasn't played a pivotal role in the story in literally forever
"Don't worry buddy my men 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 will be done within a couple of seconds. They finish quick 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏"
You and qwerty1 aggressively make future plans to hang out because you haven't spoken since..... the incident.......
AAAAND suddenly qwerty1s men encounter a problem....... There's not enough semen to stick the two last poles together!!!!!!!!
"You guys are useless you really need me to jerk you all off in order to produce more jizz so you can finish the job I HIRED YOU to do??????????????????????" Qwerty1 is really pissed at his orgymen and he is telling them off but theyre all simultaneously excreting their vanilla ice cream because they all have a thing for degradation (that's why qwerty1 hired them)
"Ermmm heh 🤓 don't mind me interrupting, but.... I CAN HELP!!!!! 😈" you hear. A super sexy dominant girth alpha male voice coming up from behind you......
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RYAN REYNOLDS!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?! Qwerty1 jizzes himself and you fall to your knees frothing at your mouth like a rabid fuvkinh doggy woggy
"Yes..... it is me..... Ryan reynolds!!!! Ope dontchakno serry ope im a canadiean i drink syrup by the gallon dontchakno"
Ryan reynolds flexes his biceps in a charming Canadian way and bedazzles all the gays in the room
"W-what are you doing here....." qwerty1 scowls
"Ope serry im just here to help dontchakno"
Omg.... Qwerty1 and Ryan reynolds have......
(Skip this if you want its just the lyrics to bad blood by Taylor swift)