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𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍 𝖘𝖎𝖝𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖍, 2019
Water dripping from the faucet sent gentle ripples across the surface of the water, displacing a small mass of bubbles the more it dripped into the filled bathtub. Soapy bubbles sat on top of the water's surface, nearly filling the porcelain colored, cube shaped bathtub to the brim, threatening to spill over the slender, flat edges and onto the gray tile floor below. Tea candles decorated the edges of the bathtub and sporadically across the bathroom - their flames standing tall as they filled the dimly lit bathroom with the subtle scent of lavender.
Erica's arm hung over the side of the tub, her body submerged beneath the water. Bubbles trailed up her arm and over her chest haphazardly, covering her honey brown skin in a sea of white. Her chest rose and lowered slowly, soft snores slipping from between her lips. Just out of her reach was an empty wine glass, remnants of red wine pooling at the bottom of the glass.
The scene was otherwise peaceful - if it wasn't for the empty, orange pill bottle on the counter, the contents of the bottle emptied out into a clear, plastic cup. A lone, oval shaped tablet sat on the counter next to the cup - the pill pressed and imprinted with the dosage - 10 milligrams. The label on the pill bottle read Erica's name, along with the name of the medication - doxepin - its seven letters printed in bold, along with the directions on how to take it. A dark, forest green wine bottle sat on the counter next to the cup, half empty, wine spilled underneath the bottle.
"Erica!"
Jolting her awake from her slumber was loud, intense pounding at her door, Erica hearing her name faintly just beyond the solid, white door of her hotel room. Erica's arm swiped the wine glass as she sat up abruptly, the glass falling from the side of the tub and onto the floor - the short drop cracking the glass into pieces.
"Erica, open the door!"
Hearing the sound of her name again, she recognized the voice of her cousin, her thick, Chicago accent slipping in through the cracks of the door. Erica's movements were sloppy, slow as she moved to get out of the tub, just narrowly avoiding stepping on the glass at the edge of the bathtub. Her footing was unstable, her vision blurry, Erica seeing double as she snatched the white towel from the rack next to her, grabbing hold of the metal beam as she attempted to steady herself.
She breathed in deeply as she wrapped the terry cloth material of the towel around her, her head throbbing in sync with the incessant pounding on the door. Her eyes hurt, her under eyes puffy - both from sleepless nights and the fit of tears she had earlier. Water dripped down her neck - the back of her hair wet and curly from her position in the tub.
It took a moment for Erica to realize the magnitude of the situation as she approached the door, fighting the urge to slip back into the tub - drift back off into sleep, just like she desperately wanted. Things for her had been confusing lately - beyond confusing, and lately, Erica had been feeling her sanity slipping away. She felt embarrassed, numb, feeling so much at once that most days, she didn't know how to feel when she woke up. She didn't know what to think anymore, and for once, she wanted it all to just stop. She felt like the walls were closing in around her.
