Paper Trails

16th April 2001

 Pansy was late once again. Theo didn't know why he even bothered trying to maintain their lunchtime meetups. She inevitably forgot, or arrived half an hour late with half baked excuses that usually involved some office scandal that she just had to witness.

The atrium was as busy as ever and Theo found himself shrinking back into one of the alcoves near the floo networks. It wasn't that he couldn't cope with the bustle of the main ministry floors, but he definitely preferred the quiet of the DOM.

"Ron when are you going to get him to propose?" A familiar whiny voice cut through the general noise of the crowd. Theo glanced around the corner of the alcove spotting two familiar redheads. Sighing to himself he shrunk back into his spot. Pansy better turn up soon or she would be getting an earful.

"I have been trying Gin but he is too stupid to take the hint. Either that or he is too much of a stupid fag to realise what he has to do." The vitriol in Ron's voice was nothing new, although Theo had not heard it aimed at Harry since the Triwizard tournament back in their fourth year.

"Well it isn't good enough. I have wanted this for so long, you are not going to mess it up for me now." The she Weasel hissed, "Get him to propose before the year is out. I already have the wedding plans sorted. You said Robard's wants to put him in the field, I don't want him killed before I get to be Mrs Potter."

"He is such a depressed mess I will be surprised if he doesn't kill himself before you get married." Ron snorted, "The attention seeking prat still just wants his fame for himself."

"Don't say that! we need to be married or I won't get anything." She whisper-shrieked, remining Theo of the Howlers the Weasley's used to receive in the great hall. "I will be Mrs Potter, it is my destiny!"
"You mean we won't. I didn't put the work in to stay friends with the sad git to not get anything in return." Ron growled. "Either way I don't think he will last much longer. The prick knows he is worthless now he has served his purpose. He can't even get a full time position in the Aurors without Robard's giving him special treatment, how the git ever defeated you-know-who is beyond me."

"I wish Hermione would stop trying to get him to go to that muggle doctor. What did she call them psycobobolist?"

"It wouldn't work, muggle stuff never does, why do you think dad has never gotten anywhere."

"I can always refer him to St. Mungo's once I'm his wife. There is enough evidence for his instability. I would get the sympathy too..."

Having heard more than enough, Theo moved away from the scheming duo as quickly as possible without being seen. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Why did they think so little of their friend? Harry spoke of them in such fond terms. Giving up on waiting for Pansy, he made his way back into the depths of the ministry, fury towards the blood-traitors speeding his steps.

"Why are you friends with them?" Theo demanded as he stormed into the office. Harry looked up in confusion

"Friends with who?"

"The Weasley's!"

"They have always been my friends since I got to Hogwarts. They have stood by me through everything, why wouldn't I be friends with them?"

"But they treat you like dirt."

"No, they just get frustrated sometimes. It's my fault really, I didn't adjust well after the war."

"So you not adjusting means they can hex you silly and dictate your life?"

"I make bad decisions." Harry said his face reddening in shame, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. After the war I was a mess, they reminded me of what's important."

"What happened after the war?" The sudden admission stopped Theo in his tracks. He hadn't considered something might have happened to Harry once the war ended. As far as anyone knew he jumped straight into Auror training and courting the Weasley bint.

"I put all my effort into the trials, there were so many people being wrongly accused, I couldn't let what happened to my godfather happen to them."

"You changed a lot of people's opinions of you during those months. Many of us would not be here without your testimonies." Theo agreed softly. As much as he had hated Harry, he had gained a begrudging respect for him during the trials, especially as it kept many of the seventh year Slytherin's out of Azkaban during a time when accusing fingers were pointed at anyone for nearly any reason.

"It was the right thing to do." Harry brushed off the compliment, "Anyway once the trials were over I was lost, I didn't want to fight anymore, but couldn't see myself going back to Hogwarts, not after the battle. I thought about travelling for a while, maybe studying abroad for my NEWTs."

"Why didn't you?"

"I spoke to Hermione and Ron, they made me see sense. I couldn't keep running from everything."

"Why was travelling and getting your NEWTs running away?" Theo asked confused, he had considered travelling himself after the tragedy of seventh year, but restrictions on movement as part of his probation had prevented it.

"Kingsley wanted me to join the aurors and I told Ginny we would try again after the war was over." Harry stood and started pacing round the office, worrying a strand of thread on his robe sleeve, "I couldn't disappoint them. Running from my problems wouldn't solve anything"

"So you gave up your own dreams for the desires of others?"

"People like me don't get dreams." Harry sighed, "Everyone has to grow up sometimes. Anyway even if I had travelled and done my NEWTs I would still be in the same position. Still stuck in the ministry, at their beck and call, giving useless speeches to make them look good. Nothing would have changed."

"You've said that before. You cannot truly believe it!" Theo exclaimed in disgust.

"Why shouldn't I?" Harry growled in frustration. "I was literally born to do one thing. My life has never been my own, why would that change now?"

"If rumours are to be believed you literally died for us. If that doesn't free you to live your own life, then nothing will."

"Then I guess nothing will." Harry shrugged and pushed away from his desk, walking out towards the stacks, "Thanks for the talk Theo. You are a really good friend, I'm sorry I can't be different."

Theo growled to himself as Harry disappeared from sight. There must be a way to get Harry free from everyone who would try to use him. It was no use waiting for Harry to see sense, he wouldn't admit things were bad until it was too late.