Bitter Tongues and Inferno Hearts CONTINUED (James Marriott x Reader)

6. Hello? Is nobody home?

you sat alone in your bathroom, small broken sobs escaping your throat, the razor sliding across your wrist, a familiar cherry liquid peeking out from bellow the skin, almost mocking you with a high pitched little 'Hello!'. How ironic too. Such a tiny piece of metal, able to do so, so much damage. This loop had continued for hours now. Cutting and cutting and cutting until you passed out, then doing it all over again. You felt numb, drained even. Not even the dull burning from your arms helped much. That's why you had to go deeper.

Curled up on what once was your white bathroom floor, you were so tired. Tired of everything; the rumors, the death threats, his ignorance and all the verbal abuse. It was awful. You were tired of feeling nothing, so you did it to feel. You felt as if you couldn't feel anything anymore. Yet you wanted to, you craved it, the sweet release, but soon not even that was enough. You couldn't help it, watching more and more of your blood spilling onto the floor...and god, was it addicting. Slowly, the sounds of your cries faded out and were replaced by something else, a gentle hum of conciousness...

Y/N

You rose from your position underneath your duvet, waking up in a pool of sweat, gasping as you processed the horrors your mind had created overnight. Tears partially blurred your vision, but were smudged away by your palms before they could continue flowing down your face. You needed a distraction, to block out everything around you, to help you breathe. To help the nagging, pulling feeling of wanting to re-open the dozens of scars littered up and down your wrists, the itching ache begging you to pick them open with your nails.

You shook your head, in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts. You couldn't. Instead you hurriedly grabbed your headphones, placing them on your head and shakily connecting them to your phone, playing the first playlist you could find. Drowning into a world made only of sound waves, pulling you away from reality, dulling the pain and anxiety you felt previously. Sighing in relief, you laid back down as one of your favourite songs came on, drifting off once and letting your mind wander into that familiar bubble of safety.

Later that morning, you sat in the kitchen with a can of monster and scruffy messed up hair, dressed in an oversized Freddie Mercury shirt that reached down to just above your knees. It was old and worn, yet you loved it nonetheless, the rough night adding to the comfortable aura that seemed to surround you after your 2 am freak out session. There was , however an uncomfortable silence throughout the apartment, broken up by some causal sped up audios here and there from your tiktok for-you-page that you had been scrolling on for a while. 'Hmm... 11am' you couldn't help but wonder where James was.

As if right on cue, your thoughts were interrupted by a drowsy looking James Marriott, eye-bags, bed head and all, strolling into the kitchen, making a beeline to what you assumed was the freezer, grabbing an ice lolly and retreating back to his room, completely ignoring your presence, or just generally forgetting that you had even moved in.

You couldn't help but wonder what had caused James to be in such a bad mood, however? Maybe he just wasn't a morning person. Whatever it was, you had no time to dwaudle in the kitchen all day about it, so you just threw your now empty monster can into the trash, not before ripping of the tab of course.

A collector, is a collector. Collecting tabs [at this rate] had become a subconscious habit.

Returning to your room, you began to actually unpack, re-folding all of your clothes, vaccuming and neatly arranging your new closet, which, conveniently already been placed in your room. Whilst observing the floor, [and definitely not just being sprawled out in a starfish shape on your new soft carpet] you found a few hangers under your bed, dusting them off and putting them to good use. With that, you also began decorating your desk with stickers, a large array of band logos and some odd memes here and there, along with a few random items such as your hairbrush and laptop.

Before you knew it, you had fully unpacked your suitcase and sat on the edge of your bed taking in your new room. The last things you needed to do was to purchase a few more decorations and to find a job. But you had already done enough work for today. Plus you were hungry, so the rest could wait.

You were still quite curious though, you hadn't seen James all day, he had just been hiding in his room. Maybe he was just editing some youtube videos? Whatever it was, he must've found it pretty important to stay cooped up in his room all day. Eerily silently. Like, hello? Is nobody home?

Your thoughts were interrupted as you realised that every shelf and cupboard in this man's place, well you place too now, had literally nothing in or on them. Guess it was time to go shopping, you were craving cookies anyways.

[874 words]

IM BACK BABIES!!!! I HAD SOME TIME OFF AND READ SOME AWESOME COMIC BOOKS IN THE MEAN TIME SO IM DOING A LOT BETTER AT THE MOMENT THANKS FOR BEING SO PATIENT <33

Also im literally writing the next 3 chapters rn so just give me an hour or so and ill upload them too.