Behind closed doors

Chapter 12

Jenna pov

It's now Saturday morning I made Liv some breakfast to start off the day I planned but she turned down my food because she isn't hungry I've asked multiple times and she keeps saying no and she looks like she's been crying, I don't know what's going on with her when I ask her stuff she gives me a one answer response. We're sitting in her game room and she's just so quiet.

"Babe is everything okay" I asked

"I'm fine" Liv said

"Baby no you're not something's wrong" I said

"No baby I'm good I promise" Liv said

"Baby talk to me, please" I begged her

" Jenna I said I'm fine okay" Liv yelled

I got up and walked out slamming the door behind me, I can't believe she just yelled at me when all I'm doing is trying to make sure she's okay.

"I'm sorry" Liv said as she walked into the room

"No you literally just yelled at me because i asked you what's wrong, all you had to do was tell me you didn't have to yell at me now just leave me alone Liv" I said

"What about the plans you made baby" Liv said

"Forget the plans Liv I'm not in the mood anymore" I said

"I'm sorry okay" Liv said

"Liv stop it you'll just keep doing the same thing over and over again I mean you won't let me help you, you won't tell me what's wrong we can't even have a good day because of you, I wanted to be a nice girlfriend and plan something for you but it's all ways something with you" I said as I stood up.

"What do mean Jenna you know I'm going through shit right now and you can't use that against me Jenna" Liv said.

"I don't wanna talk to you Liv" I said as I walked out of the room.
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Liv's pov

Okay that's fair, I ruined everything and I continue to ruin things day by day, I know my thoughts tell me that every day but to have someone you love tell you that really fucking hurts and she knows I'm dealing with depression right now , it's okay though I'll make sure it all ends.

I took a shower and put my clothes on and brushed my teeth and everything once I finished that I went into the closet and grabbed my blade box and went into my gaming room and sat down , I ruined everything keep's repeating inside my head over and over again because I really did I ruined Jenna's whole day, I ruined my own life i probably ruined my parents life the day I was born or the day they found out I was diagnosed with depression, I wish I could fix myself but I know it's to late for that.

As i started to cry I grabbed the box of blades and opened it I took one out and started cutting my left arm I got so mad at myself till the point I started going deeper , the blood started dripping onto my clothes I closed my eye's from the pain I caused to myself when I came to realization of what I just did I dropped the blade and stood up and held my arm against my chest so blood wouldn't get everywhere but that didn't help, I ran out the gaming room and into our bathroom to get the first aid kit.

"Fuck where is it, it has to be in here" I said as I looked around the bathroom for the first aid kit, I was to busy looking for it now the bathroom looks like a murder scene I ran out of the room and down stairs into the kitchen to see if it's in there.

As I looked around the kitchen I left blood spots everywhere I don't care though I need to find the first aid kit. I opened the bottom cabinet under the sink and started moving stuff around.

"Where the fuck is it" I whispered yelled.

"Got it" I said to myself as I grabbed it and ran back into the bathroom. I sat on the floor not even remembering to shut the door, It's to many cuts and I don't know how I'm gonna put pressure on all of them because it's deep and the bleeding not stopping it. "Fuck this maybe I'll bleed out and die , why am I trying to stop it anyway this is what I want, this is what Jenna and the rest of the people in my life probably wants also" I said as I threw the stuff down and stared at my arms while the tears began to fill my eyes.

I got up and grabbed a towel and my keys and left, I have no clue where I'm going but wherever my thoughts take me is where I'm gonna be at dead or alive.
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Jenna's pov

I decided to go outside and clear my mind and get away from Liv for a little,. I'm just so mad at her for yelling at me because I was checking on her I just wanted to make sure that she was okay that all, i didn't deserve to be yelled at but she's right she's going through depression right now and i know her emotions are all over the place but I just want to understand her more and comfort her but it's like she doesn't want me to.

I got up from the chair outside and walked back into the house, I walked into the kitchen to see all the cabinets open and blood everywhere, "Liv" I said to myself as I turned around and ran upstairs, I opened our bedroom door to see the bathroom door open I hurried up and ran in there.

She's not in here where did she go, i ran into her gaming room she's not in there either but there's a blade on the floor and there's blood all in her chair, i started to panic even more.

"Liv" I said as i started to yell her name as I walked around the house to look for her, I looked out side to see that her car is gone .