Behind closed doors

Chapter 14

(The same day)
Liv's pov

I opened the front door and closed it behind me, I smell cleaning products and the blood that I left behind in the kitchen is gone. I made my way upstairs to the bedroom and opened the door I don't see her in here but the bathroom door is open and the light is on.

I slowly walk to the bathroom door to see her on the floor cleaning my blood up, she looked up at me her eyes are red from all the crying she's been doing, she jumped up and hugged me and started crying again.

"Baby I'm so sorry I shouldn't of said the things I said to you i didn't mean anything I said I promise, I thought I lost you baby I'm so glad you're okay w-wait what happened to you" Jenna said as she let go of me and backed away a little to look at the blood on my shirt and my wrapped up arm.

I can't bring myself to tell her what I did I can't even bring myself to say anything to her, she's really hurt by this and now she's even more hurt that I'm not saying anything.

"B-babe" Jenna said again as she tugged my shirt.

"Hm" I said as I looked away from her.

"What did you do" Jenna asked

"I um i cut myself to deep with a blade" I said as I looked back at her, she grabbed my arm gently and pressed a kiss on it.

"Where did you go" she asked

"I went to the hospital but I was debating on going in so I went back to my car but this girl stopped me and she's a nurse so she cleaned my cuts up and wrapped them for me" I said.

"Why didn't you call me i would've been right by your side" Jenna asked as she hugged me again.

"In all honesty I was ready to die, when I was here in the bathroom I tried to stop the bleeding but i gave up because i wanted to bleed out so i  wouldn't be here anymore i wasn't thinking about anybody else or myself, i was angry at first when i started cutting at first but the deeper i got and the more i started to bleed out i became happy" I said as I sighed and laid my chin on Jenna's head.

"I'm sorry babe, I should've been there for you instead of being mad I wasn't thinking about you or you're emotions after i walked out of the room" Jenna said

"It's fine" I said

"Hey can I ask you something" Jenna said as she let go of me and backed up.

"Yes" I said

"Was this your first time self harming or um" Jenna asked nervously.

"I've been self harming for a while now but I been doing it on my thighs this is actually my first time cutting my arms" I said

I watched as Jenna tried to say something but her lips began to quiver and she couldn't get the words out of her mouth and her eyes began to feel with tears again.

"I-i feel like it's my fault that it got this bad, I told you that i would help you with your depression and stay by your side no matter what but here we are i let you down" Jenna said

"No baby this was my choice I did this to myself i put myself in this position you didn't let me down i let myself down and i continue to do that and my depression isn't making any of this better along with the way I'm coping with it, I didn't mean to bring you into the middle of this because you don't deserve to be going through this with me" i said

____

After the conversation with Jenna and everything I helped her finish cleaning up the mess I made in the bathroom then we both took our shower's and brushed our teeth and everything.

It's now 10pm and we're both in the bed Jenna's already asleep and I'm still up thinking about all the events that happened today, Jenna wanted this to be good and happy day but it was the total opposite, I have to plan something for her as an apology for what happened today I have to make this up to her.

I put my phone on the charger and was about to lay it down on the nightstand when my phone went off from a notification, I picked it up to see that Taylor texted me.

Text messages

Taylor🥼🩹
Hey, just checking to see how you're doing and if you made it home safe.

Liv❤️‍🩹😊
Hey, yes I made it home fine and I guess I'm doing better than I was earlier.

Taylor🥼🩹
That's good news, be sure to change your wrap every 24 hours and before you wrap it give it a little air so it can heal good .

Liv ❤️‍🩹😊
Ok will do!!

Taylor 🥼🩹
Oh and I appreciate you for letting me help you, i hope we get to hang out sometime maybe grab a drink or something .

Liv❤️‍🩹😊
Definitely just let me know the next time you're free.

Taylor 🥼🩹
Okay, good night😊

Liv❤️‍🩹😊
Night night 😀

End of messages

____

I smiled at the phone a little then I turned my phone off and laid down beside Jenna, she lifted her head up and laid on my chest while her arms wrapped around me, I gave her a kiss on the top of her head and whispered "I love you" then I drifted off to sleep also.