Behind closed doors

Chapter 40

Liv's pov

It's been 2 weeks since i have been out of the hospital and today me and Jenna are going to our first therapy session and I really don't want to go to this but Jenna convinced me once again i also wanted to drive my own car here but Jenna insisted that she drives her car because she feels like I'm more safe when she's around, anyways we're now walking into the room where i therapist is in

"Hello you guys my name is Azra and I'm gonna be you guys therapist" she said as she greeted us

"Good morning I'm Jenna and this is Olivia" Jenna says

"Good morning" i say tiredly

We take our seats and the session begins

"Okay guys tell me a little about yourselves starting with you Jenna" Azra says

"Okay well I'm 20 and pregnant I'm also married" Jenna says with a smile on her face

"Okay and you Olivia" Azra says

"Same thing she said except for the pregnant part" i nonchalantly says  and Jenna rolls her eyes

"Congratulations to you both on being married and expecting a baby" Azra says

"Thank you" Jenna says

"Okay now i wanna know how you guys relationship is going" Azra ask

"It's a roller coaster" Jenna says as she glances at me

"Because of me" I blurt out

"Why do you think it's because of you" Azra ask

"My mental health is shit and i have very bad depression and ever since it got worse our relationship hasn't been the same and now that we have a baby on the way makes it so much harder for me because I don't want to leave him but then again I can't help it" I say

"What do you mean you can't leave him" Azra says

"I don't know if I should go that deep because I have a feeling that after today you're gonna put me in a mental hospital" i say

"I'm not gonna do that" Azra says

"How can I trust you" I ask

"Trust her Liv she's not, if I haven't put you in one by now then she's not either" Jenna says

"Okay well I've been trying to kill myself since all of this started, like i tried to take pills or i even self harm and i tried cutting deep so i can bleed out but I'm still here so" i say

"May i ask you why you don't wanna be here" Azra ask

"I see no point in being alive if I don't even wanna be here, waking up everyday with something in my head telling me to end it all is tiring, I mean I'm not even happy if we're being honest I'm only here because I'm being forced to be here not because I want too" I say

"Why do you feel like you're being forced" Azra ask

"Because of Jenna" I say

"I am not forcing you to be here, I'm helping you not give up on yourself or your life and I'm also giving you advice and I'm doing that because I love you and you have so much more people who also love you and want to help you" Jenna says

"I don't feel loved by anyone or even you Jenna" I say

"Why do you feel like she doesn't love you" Azra ask

"if she loved me she would let me go and be happy" I say

"Me keeping you here is me loving you" Jenna says