Taking That Step

Baby Mama Drama

3 Weeks and a shit ton of Ice Cream later  

"Well, come on in, Baby Mama."

I walked into his apartment and stood awkwardly to the side. He closed the door and put his back to it. 

    "So, are you sure that your pregnant?"

Having anticipated that he was going to ask me that, I pulled out a piece of paper that stated that I was pregnant, when I conceived, and when my estimated due date is going to be. I gave it to him and watched his face. He didn't seem to be too surprised. He didn't seem to want to faint and die, as I originally thought. 

    "Aren't you mad?"

     "Why should I be mad? I messed up. I knew that I didn't wear a condom, which is why I gave you my card. I'm going to be honest and say that this is probably not as bad as you thought."

I gaped at him. He knew he hadn't used a condom, and to add injury to insult, he was acting all nonchalant about my life. This was my life he had played with, and apparently he won. But He should know better to upset a pregnant chick. So I did the only thing any self respecting pregnant chick should do. I attacked him. Jumped right onto him and started to hit everything I could. 

     "WHAT THE FUCK!? STOP IT!" He struggled in vain. I was a mad woman on a mission. Do as much damage as I could before he stopped me. Simple. As. That. 

      "You stupid fucking dumb ass nasty trying to give me an STD filthy ASSHOLE!" I progressively got louder as I insulted him. 

       "I wasn't trying to give you an STD, I don't even have an STD. I just.... I just couldn't put a condom on."

By the time he stopped talking I was back on my own two feet staring up into his beautiful grey eyes. I didn't know what to do with that revelation. i barely knew this guy, No, I DIDN'T know this guy. He was a complete stranger that I had gone home with. I had just wanted a night of having some pure, unadulterated, completely spontaneous, wonderful sex that I have craved since the split with a different type of asswipe. 

       "So let me get this straight, you didn't put a condom on because you didn't want to?"

He winced and put his head down. Well, I'll be damned. 

      "I mean, think of it this way-"

"Think of it what way?" I cut him off.

"Look, I didn't purposely get you pregnant, I just didn't want to use a condom with you. People tell you about how it only takes one time, but I didn't really think you would get pregnant."

I couldn't believe this douche. My whole life is in hands of some crazy ignorant man who seems like a complete and total bad boy with issues with using condoms. I had to get tested for every STD that ever existed. I look at his handsome face and just imagined getting a gun and just blowing it off. (Told you not to mess with a pregnant woman.)

"If it makes you feel better, I will be with you every step of the way," he said while moving further into his home, "I can even offer you a job at my company so that we can be closer together, as well as move in together."

I made a cutting gesture with my hand on my throat and sat down on the couch he offered me.

"What the hell are you talking about? Closer to you is the last thing I want, that would just tempt me even more to take your life."

"You're going to move in with me, whether you like it or not."

He seemed so sure of himself, I just wanted to slap his stupid handsome face. I wonder if our baby is going to be that handsome, if so then I will have to buy a gun for the girls that come after him.

"I don't know where you get off in trying to tell me that I am moving in or taking that stupid job, but newsflash, its 2015, I don't have to do anything I don't want to do."

He smirked and leaned back into the couch while crossing his arms.

"We'll see.

Douche.

I smiled big and leaned back as well.

"We Will."

"THAT ASSHOLE DICK FACED WHORE OF A MAN!"

I came home early from work because I was fired, on my door was an eviction notice along with a note from jackass.

'Bet that apartment and job offer is looking pretty good now J'

That nasty man whore little manipulator, I don't know how the hell he pulled all of this off but I refuse. I refuse everything he even stands for. I will crush him beneath my heels.

I went outside and grabbed the next cab that tried to pass by and gave the cab driver his address. He was in for a rude awakening if he thought that he would or could get away with this.

I got there 30 minutes later still seething with rage. I arrived at his door and with a closed fist started beating on it. He opened it with a smile and his eyebrows cocked.

"What are you-"

I punched him in the face before he could say anything else.

"God Dam-"

I stepped on his toes, kicked him in the shin. And when he bent down I kneed him in the stomach.

"That will teach you to meddle in my business. I don't know who you think you are but I will not be played with for your amusement. I have had it up to here, "I gestured to my boob," with horrible manipulators who only think about themselves."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" A voice came from inside his apartment. So this little dick head had company. She was tall and beautiful with long black hair and bright blue eyes. But I had to warn her before he did the same thing to her. I bet he just wanted a harem.

"Run while you still can sister, this douche bag will fuck you without a condom and get you pregnant on purpose so he can see you again. Then he will dick around in your life because he has nothing better to do then harass the woman he got pregnant."

Her mouth gaped open and for a minute I thought she was going to just run and never look back, but she did something I didn't expect. She laughed. Hard. While pointing at the idiot who was still on the ground just getting his breath back I assume. After a while of just looking at her she quieted down and started to explain.

"This douche bag is actually my brother, and I had no idea he was such a piece of shit. My name is Marilyn and I am his older sister."

Ryder was finally off of the floor and dusting himself off.

"I didn't get you pregnant on purpose," he said with a slight pout.

"And I'm the Easter Bunny."