Taking That Step

Give An Inch, Take A Mile

ASH

I was absolutely astounded... How the hell-

"Ash? Are you coming or not?" Ryder said from the front of the car. He had stopped Daniel from running off. I slowly got out of the car and looked around. Clowns ( which I hate, but that is neither here nor there), booths that neighborhood children were already at, even a ferris wheel (which just goes to show how large the lawn really was. 

 "Smile, I did this for our son, look he's already making friends with the neighborhood children."

Ryder was, in fact, right. Daniel had taken off for the 'test your strength' booth and was talking with a pretty girl and 4 other boys. He seems to have made his first friend here, which would make any mother happy.

I was simply standing there like a bump on the log just looking in awe at the circus on our new front lawn. That thought shook me from my daze.

" You bought a house?" The glare I sent him should have melted his eyebrows off, but miraculously nothing happened. 
He just shrugged at me like he didn't care.
"I provide for my progeny," he said with a smirk.
I just rolled my eyes at him. He just wanted to throw his money at me. It wouldn't work, and if he thought that was the way to my heart then he was really wrong.
________________________________

The day was just tiresome. Ryder's constant flirting, all of the mothers were trying to find a dark corner to rape him in, and Daniel didn't want to ever leave his dad (which was fine, but left to their own devices, they'd probably eat cake for every meal).
It was just a day, and I was glad to see it end. After putting Daniel to bed I walked back to Ryder in the living room.
"Nice place."
I was quietly looking at him. Everything about him was everything I thought I needed. Not anymore.
"It's Kate's."

He sighs and meets me gaze. I want to say that I was unaffected and that I hated his guts. But the simple fact of the matter was is that if I said that.... it would be a complete lie. 

"I want to hate you so bad. No matter what you didn't know, or what you didn't do. I want to hate you so bad."

"But you cant because you know as well as I do that we are fated, written in the stars, soulmates," He said scooting forward," and there is nothing you can do about it, but give in. Let me be yours."

I shook my head. He didn't understand. I had spent years doing everything, being everything to and for our child. Survived such opposition that to give it to him now would equate failure in my eyes.

Failure of what? 

Failure of life. I've fought so hard to do everything and now he wants to waltz in when I've finally got it under control? I don't think so, I replied back to my subconscious. 

I shook my head again. 

"I cant give in, I will never give in. And the sooner you understand and accept that, the happier we can be. I understand that we have to be in each others life, but that is for Daniel. No one but that sweet boy sleeping in that room. I cant lose myself in you. I've worked too hard and for too long to just hand the reigns to you. I refuse."

"Goddammit! How can you refuse this?" He whispered.

He brought his hand up to my cheek, sending electricity flowing through my suddenly hot body. I sighed and leaned into it, I would give myself this moment and nothing else. Nothing but this moment. He uses his hand to gently guide my head closer to his. His hypnotic grey eyes held me in a way that nothing in this world could. In that moment all I wanted to do was go back in time, to when our lives were seemingly perfect. Where there was no crazy mother, late night calls, fear for my life at all times. I just wanted to flow back. But we couldn't. So this moment would have to do. 

"I'm not asking you to give it all to me, just let me show you what it would be like to have me. Let me be yours. I need you like I need air, undeniable. We were happy and we can be happy again. I want to see your smile, wake up to you and Daniel. Eat breakfast and kiss you goodbye at the door on my way to work," as he says this he gently thumbs my lips and kiss my neck," I want to come home to you and my son. I want to love you all night like I want to, like I yearn to. Let yourself be that person for me. I need you."

At that moment, i wanted to believe everything would be okay, that we could make it through, that LOVE could conquer anything. But it wasn't enough. Just this one moment would be enough. It would take the sting out of the lonely years to come .At least I hoped it would. I felt the start of tears, tears I couldn't shed with Daniel by my side. In this moment I was Ashlynn, not a mother, not a wife, not a businesswoman, I was just plain old Ashlynn. A woman who was beat and tormented, loved and unloved. A woman who had spent countless nights crying and trying to remember how these moments with this one man felt like. And I could now confirm that everything that I remembered would never come close to how it feels to be in this one mans arms. He was supposed to be my forever, and my forever was all a lie. One moment, and i would close my eyes and remember all of the atrocities I had endure at the hands of his mother.

"Kiss me."

And he did.

I shuddered as his lips met mine. It was like coming home and putting your hand over a open flame at the same time. Comforting, but hot and needy all at once. His lips were a old sensation made new. I was in absolute awe of how well we fit together. His lips on mine was like being in the desert for so long and finally getting a drop of water. Never enough. It would never be enough. I would always search for this feeling, this feeling of rightness, this feeling of desire so hot it would singe everything in its wake. I would search and come up empty. I would always come up empty. The tears that I was holding back poured forth. But as we continued, I realized that the tears weren't just mine. SO I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel.

He pulled back and looked at me before leaning closer again. He didn't go all that way and just sat in the middle, waiting for me to acknowledge this, acknowledge what he knew I wanted. 

So I took. 

A/N

WHAT DO YOU THINK???!?!?!? Huh? *Smirk* I know you love me, I love you too. Don't hate me too much about the cliffhanger, I am literally in bed with my 2 year old son, hoping he doesn't wake up and ask for some apple juice. *Sigh* Life of a mother. I just want to thank all of the new readers, all of the old readers, and those in between ( I really don't know what that is, I just wanted to seem cool ^-^) Love all of my Forever Faithfuls. <3 <3 <3 <3

I'll update sometime tomorrow or the day after. Look forward to that. 

P.S. No I'm serious, look forward to it. Put it on your calendar and stalk me about it . AND COMMENT! SHARE! VOTE! all that good stuff. 

Laters!

Lee