✿︎ - 𝔖𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔦𝔢𝔯, 𝔓𝔬𝔢𝔱, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤. - ✿︎

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 ℑ𝔙

♕︎

I've never been so conflicted in my life.

I couldn't stop thinking about my encounter with the thief guy yesterday.

Why the fuck did I clean his shoe?

What even urged me to approach him?

Even worse.

I was thinking about all of this in the same room with the man I'm fucking.

"I don't get this movie. There's too many plot holes," he sighed, resting his hands behind his head.

I smiled, rolling my eyes a bit.

"It wouldn't exist without the plot holes. It's the essence of the movie," I shrugged, trying to defend it.

"If your movie can't exist without a plot, then it isn't a good movie."

Actually... he had a point.

You cleaned another man's shoe yesterday.

Shut the fuck up.

"Well, I should get going." he stood up, getting his jacket on.

Bye.

"So soon?"

Why am I acting like I care?

That's harsh.

"Yeah, I have patrol." he smiled, kneeling back down on the bed.

"But it's nice to see that you care."

I don't.

Shut up.

He crawled back over to me, planting a gentle kiss on my forehead, my nose, and then my lips.

I felt myself inch closer to him, wanting to prolong the kiss.

I don't feel much for him.

So why does this feel so good?

I slid my hands to either side of his neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss. He seemed caught off guard at first, but his hands soon rested on my waist.

I moved my way down to his jacket, moving it out of the way. Latching a finger under the button of his shirt, it soon came off with a pop.

"Who knew the king was such a good pickpocket?"

My nose twitched, realizing how fast the memories of yesterday came back.

I shoved the soldier backward onto the bed, my mouth moving down to his neck.

Distract yourself.

Is that what this is?

A distraction?

"Rez.." he whined, throwing his head back to give me more access.

The more I moved down, the more buttons I undid on his uniform. Once it was fully open, I started kissing down to his stomach.

"Well, consider me impressed."

Stop it.

"I really should g—"

I held a tight grip on one of his legs, slightly pushing them open.

Should I stop?

Is he uncomfortable?

A groan fell from his lips, one that sounded like defeat.

"They don't really need me right away," he spoke, quickly undoing his belt.

Fuck.

This is really happening.

This is happening again.

What do I do now?

"Hello, your majesty."

Not the time.

"I'm quite aware of that."

Fuck it. We're doing this.

☠︎︎✍︎♕︎

Why the fuck did I do that?

I was now completely alone in my bedroom. My shirt was sliding off of my shoulders, and I had absolutely no idea where my pants were.

Where the fuck are my pants.

I got up, beginning to scan my room for missing clothes. I found a sock, a belt, and pants.

My pants.

I quickly picked them up, sliding them back on.

If I were being honest, I don't really remember what had happened. It felt as though I put myself on autopilot, hiding in my mind until it was over. There were faint clips of it, but never the full thing.

All I remember is him leaving me there.

Unsatisfied.

That doesn't matter.

I didn't really know why I was encouraging this when I didn't enjoy it at all. I probably just wanted something going on in my life.

"Distract yourself."

Or a distraction from my responsibilities.

I walked over to my desk, flipping through the mail that the soldier had brought me. The majority of them were just taxes coming in, nothing too special.

"Ruler's Summit, this weekend."

"You've been invited to attend."

Ugh.

I needed to get out of here to clear my head. I couldn't handle being king right now. I needed another place to go.

Someplace where I could feel normal.