THE JOURNEY HOME

CHAPTER 1: DREAMS

The week after Pearl’s disappearance was dreary, to say the least. Ophelia tried her best to ignore the glances out of the corner of the eyes of onlookers, the hushed tones, and the sudden silence whenever she stepped into a crowded place but it was unbearable. Worst of all were the looks Pearl’s mother gave her whenever Ophelia had the misfortune of bumping into her. She looked at Ophelia like she was responsible for the disappearance of her daughter, like a stain. It was to be expected of course, for Ophelia was Pearl’s best friend but the feelings of betrayal Ophelia felt stemmed from the fact that Mrs. Julia was like a second mother to her. Their relationship which was so close they were often mistaken for mother and daughter was now strained to its limits. Mrs. Julia, who couldn’t stand the sight of Ophelia always walked out on her, and Ophelia on her path was learning the subtle art of avoidance. Pearl’s siblings were more understanding, but their affection had a motive, it was a desperate attempt to fill the gaping hole in their hearts that their sister left. Ophelia knew she could never take Pearl’s place, so even their care stung. Such was the predicament Ophelia found herself in, torn between Mrs. Julia who wanted to erase Ophelia along with all traces of her memories of Pearl, and Pearl’s siblings who tried to use her as a replacement. Pearl’s father on the other hand, handled his grief very differently, like most other members of the town, he moved on quickly, as though he never had Pearl as a daughter and sometimes, he would stare at Ophelia, a puzzled look on his face as though trying to understand the significance or origin of her presence in his house and his life.

Ophelia’s first dream was a week after Pearl’s disappearance. The day was like any other, she arranged the bed she once shared with her friend-turned-sister, lay her head on her pillow, and got up with a start, Pearl was beside her on the bed. Pearl looked her most radiant, the shock of her new beauty almost overpowered the shock of seeing Pearl after almost a week of her disappearance. Pearl beamed.

‘I can’t believe it!’, Ophelia shouted at the top of her lungs. Joy overcame shock as she got up overjoyed, rushing to the door,  she would tell everyone that Pearl was back.  It was good, too good to be true.

‘Wait! Don’t!’, Pearl’s voice called out to her but it was too late. Ophelia bounded out the door only to find herself awake and sitting upright on her bed, in the darkness of the night. Pearl was gone.

Ophelia didn’t have to dwell too much on the meaning of her dream for Pearl visited her again two days after that. Her previous experience had taught her not to rush this time. This time when she saw the more beautiful rendition of Pearl beside her, she got up slowly, fully convinced that this experience, like the last, was a dream. Pearl spoke first.

‘You’re crying’, Pearl’s eyes softened. Only then did Ophelia hear her sobs, her cheeks were wet with tears and she could feel them fall onto the bed sheet below.

‘Why did you leave?’, She didn’t say what she wanted to say: ‘Why did you leave me?’, the difference between the two was just a word yet conveyed the depth of the loneliness she had felt these past days. Pearl was her sister, her best friend and she had abandoned her when she knew Ophelia had no one else.

‘I’m sorry’, Pearl apologized. Ophelia wanted to be angry but she couldn’t muster the strength it took, that singular apology was all she needed to hear. Pearl was truly and completely forgiven.

‘Will you come back?’, Her voice was barely a whisper,  Ophelia knew the answer, and she knew she didn’t want to hear it.

‘Come outside’, Pearl climbed out through the window and Ophelia followed. Perhaps because she was so convinced she was dreaming, Ophelia didn’t consider that she was on the first floor (Ophelia’s room was on the first floor, facing the east), it may also have been absolute trust in the hand Pearl stretched out to her that caused her to toss caution to the wind. She found, however, that once she held Pearl’s hand, she was outside and her feet didn’t touch the floor. Her only support was Pearl’s hand and they seemed to be freely suspended in mid-air. Terror gripped Ophelia but she reassured herself that she was only dreaming, besides, the fright was worth it if she could see Pearl again. Pearl carried Ophelia gently to the balcony outside the master’s bedroom and set her down. Pearl herself lighted on the silver railings and posed with the delicacy of a carefully sculpted statue, both hands behind her back, one leg in front of the other.

‘I am here to take you’, she said as soon as she had landed, ‘I will teach you how to come to where I am’. Ophelia nodded, she wanted nothing more.

‘I was also taught how to get here. First, you will need your wings’.

‘I see, wings’, Ophelia agreed immediately, she smiled, betraying her derision.

‘Can’t you see mine?’, Pearl asked in amazement on seeing her reaction.

‘No, not really’, Ophelia could see Pearl clearly in the moonlight and there were no wings, feathers, or anything of that sort on Pearl’s back. The question had amused her at first but when Ophelia considered the fact that they had all but floated to the balcony on the other side of the house, she treated the matter with more sobriety. Pearl’s motions of flight were so fluid, more like gliding than anything else, she felt no tugging, grunting, effort, or pressure. Pearl only floated, as though she were as light as paper to the balcony.

‘That’s not good. I could see hers’, Pearl mused to herself, ‘Your first lesson is this then, you must learn to see!’.

‘How?’ Ophelia asked. Pearl didn’t seem to know the answer to this question but she looked up suddenly, her eyes brightening with the light of an idea.

‘I’ll fly between you and the moon, you have to look carefully, be focused!’, and with that she took off, flying very close to the moon, Ophelia was afraid she might hit it. Graceful would be the only word to describe Pearl’s flight, Ophelia soon forgot her motive and was content to watch Pearl flitter across the sky like a faerie, floating like a part of nature, like a falling leaf, upwards and around, swooping downwards then flittering about, Pearl seemed to thoroughly enjoy herself, she seemed to be one with the wind. But Ophelia saw no wings.

‘Did you see?’, Pearl finally asked, only then did Ophelia remember she was supposed to be looking for wings.

‘No, but you fly very gracefully’, she replied.

‘You’ll just have to fly without being able to see the wings then’, Pearl said, ‘You have wings too, when you can see mine, you’ll see yours, They’re very small though’.

The conversation had taken the wrong turn, Ophelia imagined Pearl sweeping her up into the sky and watching her drop like an eaglet just to see if she could fly. Such behaviour was consistent with Pearl’s character and a shiver ran through Ophelia’s spine. But even if she couldn’t fly, she would just wake up, right? As these thoughts ran through her head, Ophelia heard a cold voice and whipped her head around to face the speaker.

‘Why are you here?’,  Mrs. Julia had opened the balcony. As she spoke, she stared at the railings where Pearl stood but when Ophelia turned back to look in the same direction, Pearl was gone. Only then did she realize Mrs. Julia was talking to her, in the manner she did nowadays, looking nowhere in particular, with that realization also came the knowledge that she wasn’t dreaming, Pearl was just here.