How to seduce a psychotic doctor [Heavy x Medic]

"A little medical miracle of my own."

There Medic stood, he looked quite threatening towards the other team.

"Doktor..?-" Heavy tried to confirm if what he was seeing was true but got shushed by Medic
"Silence." Medic said quietly to the wounded Heavy, Heavy was a little saddened by Medic's meanness..?? Heavy couldn't really put the right word on it. Medic noticed this and gave Heavy a reassuring smile which he knew would make Heavy happy again, Medic then turned back to his more "mean" face and pulled out his crossbow to heal nearby wounded mercenaries, he got all of his shots and all the other mercenaries let out their battle cries and ran towards the incoming BLU team.

Medic pulled out his Medigun again and turned to Heavy, he pulled the trigger and the healing beam puffed out indicating that Heavy was now being healed. Heavy picked up Sasha who was on the ground beside him and stood up, he nodded once at Medic as a way to say thank you without yelling it all over the god damn battlefield (LIKE MEDIC WHEN HIS ÜBERCHARGE IS READY - Thisshiisbananas, a Medic main), Medic's cheeks got a little red but not enough for Heavy to noticed. But everyone else could.
"Arhh..No need to zank me mein...Freund.." Medic said hesitantly, he didn't want to confess his feelings for Heavy but he also didn't want to call him his friend..

Heavy and Medic stood in silence for a moment, anyone could tell that there was love in the air (even Sasha and Archimedes) but the moment got cut short by Soldier yelling
"GIVE 'EM HELL BOYS!!" and Medic shook himself back into reality.
"Vell..Ich guess ve should go nov..hehe.." Medic said while scratching the back of his head, Heavy nodded (after taking a moment to collect himself too) and began moving forward while holding Sasha, Medic running right behind him with his Medigun beam on Heavy.

"ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES!"
"That was doctor assisted HOMICIDE!"
"My doctor is still alive!"
"Eins, zwei, drei...Ugh, I do not zink ve brought enough body bags.."
"CRY SOME MORE!"
"Did zat sting.? SAW-ry!"
"I am Heavy Weapons Guy, and this is my new weapon!"
"Ve did it, Kamerad!"
...
"I LOVE this doktor!" Heavy said after Medic healed him, he began running towards the already captured control point to guard it from any incoming BLU mercenaries. He stopped when he felt the Medigun beam disconnect from him, he was confused and when he turned around he saw Medic standing there like he was high on drugs or something, his lips were parted and he was just staring into space, his eyes were also sparkling.
"Is Doktor okay..?" Heavy asked Medic, he was a little concerned if Medic had been smoking weed and then went on the battlefield. Medic stood for a few seconds before shaking his head to focus back on the ongoing battle "Agh! Jes of course..hehe..Ich just..jou knov..zoned out a little.." Medic said trying to hide the fact that he had feelings for Heavy (which he did very poorly but Heavy SOMEHOW didn't notice), Medic looked down at his Medigun and saw that his Übercharge was ready "Oh and ze Über is ready.."

Heavy smiled and turned around so Medic could Über him, after the Über began the two rushed towards the incoming BLU team and began a massacre on the BLU team. After the Übercharge was done Heavy had ended up with 1 revenge on the BLU Spy and about 7 dominations (Demo was like a mile away drinking beer LMAO), Medic ended up getting revenge on the (BLU) Scout, Spy and Sniper and ended up with just one domination on a stupid (/pos) Phlog Pyro. After the massacre Heavy held up his hand so him and Medic could high five "Go!" "Jawohl!"

After the high five Medic gave Heavy a thumbs up and turned towards where another (spawn) wave of BLU mercenaries would come from while still holding his Medigun, Heavy turned to face the same place as Medic but after a little he looked at Medic with longing eyes, but yet again Medic was completely oblivious
"Doktor need to tell Heavy how you do all of the Übercharge some day..da Doktor..?" Heavy asked and waited for Medic to answer, Medic turned to Heavy and chuckled softly while grinning
"It is just a little medical miracle of my ovn..."
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(A/N: Yes that is based on a line from Good Omens, sue me.)