All That Bloodshed

Chapter 2: spineless in my tomb of silence

Making it back to Ryouhei's room was no easy feat. Chishiya was more injured than he let on, and with Ryouhei completely unwilling to relinquish the grip that he had on the blond man's cardigan, it was slow going. To his brother's credit, he didn't offer any more complaints at the slow pace, merely pushing the wheelchair along at whatever pace Chishiya set.

Ryouhei had been the one to ask to go out — and he didn't regret that he had — but he hadn't accounted for just how exhausting it would be. Perhaps if it had just been a trip outside he wouldn't have felt so drained, but he had managed to speak for the first time and had proceeded to practically ball his eyes out at the sight of Chishiya. Not his finest moment, but he could forgive himself considering the circumstances. He was sure that he would be an absolute disaster once he saw Usagi. Really, seeing Chishiya was rather tame.

He eased himself back onto the bed with the help of his brother, Chishiya standing beside the bed and wavering slightly. For a moment he seemed to be debating what he should do and wavering slightly as he did. Hajime excused himself quickly to talk to the doctors about Ryouhei's recovered speech and Ryouhei took the opportunity to tug on Chishiya's cardigan again.

"Arisu..."

Ryouhei bit his lip. "Just... sit down," he rasped. He hoped that Hajime would return with water.

Chishiya pursed his lips, his eyes darting back toward the chair that his brother had previously been using. Ryouhei tugged on the cardigan again, shuffling over in his bed as best as he could. He stared pleadingly at Chishiya, begging him wordlessly to just... let him have this. The last he remembered seeing Chishiya was when he had to leave him behind to run from the King of Spades. It didn't feel right to leave him, but he wouldn't have been able to run while carrying him. The best he'd been able to do was hide him under a car so that he wouldn't be an immediate target.

Usagi wasn't here, but Chishiya was. Ryouhei needed this.

For a moment, he was afraid that Chishiya would tug himself free and choose the chair,  but surprisingly, the blond indulged him. With a heaving sigh to show just how hard done by he was by giving in to Ryouhei's pleading, he shuffled up to join Ryouhei on the bed. He slowly leaned back into the still semi raised cushions on the bed, exhaling audibly as he settled. Ryouhei shifted again, slowly letting go of the cardigan in favour of trying to settle next to Chishiya without invading his personal space too much.

Chishiya sighed again. "Just get over here, idiot." He lifted an arm and placed it behind Ryouhei, easing the taller so that he could curl into Chishiya's side without irritating either of their injuries too much.

He gave in, relaxing into the hold and placing his hand on Chishiya's chest, wrapping his fingers around a different part of the blond's cardigan. "It's okay," Chishiya said softly. "You beat the Queen of Hearts and we're all here."

"Not... all."

"You did what you could."

Ryouhei closed his eyes tightly and just... breathed. It felt like it had been simultaneously forever and no time at all since he last saw Karube and Chota. He had the faintest memory of seeing them right before he'd woken up, appearing back in Karube's bar and having him and Chota joke and laugh at him before telling him to live. He wasn't sure if that was even real. It seemed to be just as real as anything from the Borderlands, but then again, even there, Ryouhei had been having flashbacks for weeks. Usagi was the only one he'd confessed to about seeing Karube and Chota.

He carried the deaths of everyone he met with him while in the Borderlands. Every night he'd turn events over and over in his head, trying to find another way that he could have saved them. Too many times, he turned up with nothing. Too many times, he wondered if there had been a solution and he was just too blind to see it.